AFTERMATH
by Aliet Faslami
Summary: Sequel to Collateral Damage. In the wake of Merana's death, the demons of Jendai's past return to haunt him. Finished...
1. One

Squee! I was up late writing this, so appreciate it. This is the sequel to Collateral Damage. And this fic is filled with fan characters and speculations, so if you don't like that kind of thing, don't bother reading it. I own none of the songs I quote, except for the one entitled "not drunk"... it's a sucky song though so feel free to steal it. I also own no IZ characters that pop up. All the ones that aren't in the show are mine. Steal them and I hunt you down.   
BIG thanks to Invader Bast who beta-read most of this chapter! Want to thank her yourself? Go read her fics!   
The gist of this fic is Jendai telling a story, and everything after these "~ ~ ~" little... things is the story he's telling Zim. If it gets confusing, review and tell me and I'll post something that has a brief explanation of the characters that are new.   
  
  
AFTERMATH  
  
Chapter 1  
"Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was  
my life."  
-Three Doors Down, "Life of my own."  
  
The night Jendai Kaalae died was a frigid winter eve in mid January.   
It was one of those nights where children huddled under their blankets, wishing for summer or hot cocoa, whichever came first. The smell of snow was in the air, sending memories of winter break through skool goers. Of course, Zim couldn't feel the cold. He had been hard at work all day, perfecting his experiment with the lazer weasels and was now trying to catch a quick nap on the couch. GIR was off in the kitchen, trying to find out where Zim had stashed its cupcake cache and no one had seen Jendai for hours.   
Ever since the death of Merana Sali, Jendai had been quiet and reclusive. Whenever he had wished to talk, it was of trivial things such as the weather, Zim's latest plot, how stupid humans were, and more things of that nature. And even those conversations were short, clipped by a faraway pain in blue eyes or some outburst of pent-up emotions. He never spoke of their daring venture to the human nation's capital, or of the strange alien whom he had befriended. It was as if, with her death, Merana had completely dropped out of both of their lives. Jendai seemed to wish it that way. He'd moved out of their house, leaving it full of everything that Merana had owned. No "For Sale" sign had been posted. He just packed up, left, and moved in with Zim and GIR. The big Irken had expressed a desire for Zim never to speak of the house, and had sworn never to return; although he did go off on long drives in the old pickup, often returning smelling of human alcohol, though he was rarely drunk. On those atypical situations where he was, Zim had left him to his computer's medical programming, saving both of them from the hassle of dealing with each other.   
Zim snorted in his sleep, turning over on the soft couch. He hardly slept anywhere other than his room in the lab, but the couch just felt better tonight. It was warmer in the main house than it was in the lab. His dreams wandered from world domination to nightmares of scientists with machine guns. Somewhere in the background, a fair skinned, human-looking woman with silver blonde hair and amber eyes gazed at him, her image slowly fading...  
"Master! Master wake up!" GIR squealed, jolting him awake.   
The alien groaned. "What is it now, GIR?" he asked bluntly, sitting up. He hadn't bothered with his disguise. A stray antenna fell in his face, and he irritably forced it back upright. The cold was affecting them strangely. The door was locked, as were the windows. "Can't you find the cupcakes?"  
GIR paused. "Nooo... I think..." it said, pondering. "Oh yeah! The big master told me to come and bother you so I'd be out of the way! So I did, and Master where are my cupcakes?"  
"Jendai sent you up here?" Zim asked, sliding off the couch. "Where is he?"  
"Ummm... down the toilet," GIR replied, cocking its metal head. It hadn't bothered with its disguise either. "Now can I have my cupcake?"  
"They're in the freezer," Zim called over his shoulder. He was already on his way to the kitchen. What could Jendai want? He had never called Zim before. Usually, it was the other way around. Zim calling the other Irken for advice on his projects. He climbed on the toilet seat, flushing himself down.   
The lab was cold. Freezing in fact. Zim's breath formed clouds of vapor in the air. Why wasn't Jendai up in the house where it was warm, rather than down here where one could freeze to death? "Jendai?" he called experimentally. "Where are you?" He wandered down the rows of tables cluttered with bits and pieces of projects and experiments. Rooms led off into ones similar to the one he was currently in. His rooms came into view, then passed by as he made his way to the quarters he'd created for Jendai.   
The blaster was a simple, crude invention of his, but it would serve its purpose well. It was large, cumbersome and probably would backfire. Although, a single blow from it could kill if it hit the right spot. The act would be messy, and most likely extremely painful if he missed, but there was nothing better to use. And he would not miss. Jendai turned it over in his long-fingered hands. He sat, perched on the edge of his bed, useless legs swinging beneath him as his upper body moved, staring at the weapon. He'd known for some time now. Known he couldn't continue. Too much had been taken away from him. He'd barely survived when he'd first come here. Then Merana had saved him... in more ways than the obvious. Now she was gone. Everyone he'd truly cared for was gone. Leeri, Min, Kaml, Lidge, Merana... Kas... everyone. He couldn't take it anymore. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to fire...  
"Jendai? Are you in here?"   
He froze. Zim. Zim was still alive. But, he was different. He hadn't known him for years. Only months.   
Zim poked his head into Jendai's bedroom. His Soldier red eyes widened in shock as he saw the position of the bigger Irken. "You... you aren't... are you?" the tiny Invader's voice was soft with fear. Jendai supposed he'd rarely seen death this close before, which was odd for one of the Soldier class.   
Jendai set the blaster down beside him. "Zim... please come here," he said in his soft tenor voice. Zim obediently came forward, keeping his distance from his fellow Irken. "Don't be afraid, Invader," he laughed. "I won't harm you. I don't wish you to die. Only me."  
"Why?" he almost whimpered. His antennae were tilted backwards as far as they could go, easily revealing his fear. "Why do you want to die?"  
"Sit down, Invader," Jendai replied, motioning to the bed beside him. "You might want to have GIR bring down some food. This could take a while."  
"Give me the blaster and I will, Jendai," Zim retorted.   
Obediently, Jendai handed over the weapon to Zim. The small Invader shuddered at the sight of it before sliding it under the bed. He then climbed up to sit beside Jendai. The blue-eyed Irken took a deep breath. It was obvious he was apprehensive about the whole thing. "You know how I came to earth, correct?" Zim nodded. "Good, that'll make this whole thing slightly easier on me." Jendai sighed again, and began to tell his story.  
~ ~ ~  
  
Things had most likely been going on for longer than he'd thought. But he hadn't known that then. It was a time of political unrest on Irk. Those of the Student Class had long since felt that Soldier Class was getting too important with the growth of the Irken Empire. There were numerous reports of Soldier and Student violence against each other. No murders, as no Irken would intentionally kill another Irken, unless ordered to as punishment for criminal actions against the Tallest or other figures of power. Soldiers began to hold every position of high power that Students had once held for many years. Among the Student Class, morale had soared after one of their own entered a position of high power, giving them a toehold in the growing Empire. Tension between the two Classes had never been stronger. Hatred was a dominating emotion towards the other Class on both sides. Small groups of Students plotted to do away with the Tallest of opposing Class and replace him with a second one of their own.   
From his point of view, though, the day everything began was hot. Huge fans had emerged from the ceiling of the West Jihi Workshop, blowing cooler air down on the workers. The sounds of the shop were deafening; clangs, buzzes, whirrs, shouts and even the odd singing voice. Large vehicles stood in various pieces and positions around the spacious floor. Some were being detailed, others repaired, and some even being pieced together from scratch. The twelve workstations were busy, a pair of Irkens working hard at each. They were student-teacher pairings, the student learning everything they could from their mentor. One, station number twelve, only had one Irken working. He had no student to teach his skills to. He didn't care though.   
The voot cruiser he was repairing had been shattered into about ten pieces and needed his full concentration. Whose idea it had been to take the small transport out for a spin truly needed more instructions on driving. A hook-like appendage appeared out of his back pod, reaching up to grasp the piping overhead. It pulled him upwards, allowing him to hang upside-down over the wreckage, giving him a better view of the damage. One of his robotic legs slid out, wrapped around the tool he wanted, and pulled it up to him. He slid goggles over his face, then set to the task of piecing this scrap heap together. Every so often, one of the legs would come back out, select another tool, then retreat back into their position. Time slipped away as he became totally absorbed in the project at hand. Others were climbing up into the same position he was in. Soon, talk drew to a halt as all Irkens in the building settled down to work.   
"Tikem!" a loud, rough voice shouted into the workroom. The pair at station six looked up instantly at the sound of their boss's voice. "Hurry it up! General Kak wants his ship in working order by noontime! Get on it!" Tikem and his student nodded and quickly continued. The owner of the shop, Regert Shrig, strode down the stairs, barking at his workers. Regert was on the taller side, about 3'7", making him the boss, but he was also on the stockier side as well. His reddish eyes were screwed up in attentive annoyance. He wore a typical mechanic's outfit, black for his office and red for his eyes. Regert strode up to station twelve, watching the Irken suspended from the ceiling toil over the smashed voot. "Hey, Kaalae," he called.   
Jendai looked up. Nervous, he pushed his goggles back to get a better view of his employer. The protective eyewear had left rings around his large, blue eyes. "Yeah?" he inquired, smooth tenor in sharp contrast to Regert's coarse bass.   
"I need to see you," Regert said, eyeing what had once been a voot cruiser. "Got your work cut out for you today, eh?" He rubbed his gloved hands together. One of his antennae pricked up with excitement, while the other drooped in his face. According to the boss, an engine casing had fallen on it, disabling any movement. Of course, he could have just had it repaired at a medical center. But Regert felt it made him look more intimidating. "Make me lots of cash, ya hear?"  
The blue-eyed Irken chuckled. "I'll do my best, Sir." He released his hold on the pipe, falling lightly to the floor. He stretched, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Jendai was a good-sized Irken, three foot, four inches tall, making him the head mechanic, one of the best in the shop. West Jihi was a strange place. Rather than being a heightocracy as a normal shop-and the rest of Irk-was, status in West Jihi was based on how fast and how well you could repair your assignment. Jendai was the swiftest, and the best, therefore he was head mechanic-second only to Regert. Unfortunately, the position of Boss was still based on height. There were just some things the founder of West Jihi couldn't change. "What'dya need to see me about?"  
"Just come on," the boss told him, motioning him to follow. His single antenna was tilted backwards slightly, showing his fearful emotions. Jendai shrugged, trouping after him. They wound their way around stations eight, nine, ten and eleven, heading straight for the stairs that led to Regert's spacious office. For a moment, Jendai stopped outside the door, just looking out at the cluttered workshop that he'd been working in for fourteen years now. He couldn't remember any place other than West Jihi... except for the Nursery he'd left when he was seven. "Kaalae, come on," Regert called from inside.   
He slipped into the office, taking note of everyone inside. Instead of only Regert's young student, Wikki, there were two Irkens he'd never seen before. One was an adult female, and the other was a male child. The female wore the uniform of a Nursery worker. Regert moved behind his desk, sinking down into his chair, and motioned Jendai to come stand beside him. The mechanic did so, blushing slightly. He hoped he didn't have oil or grease on his face. Chances were though, he did. The female Irken smiled sweetly at him, deep purple eyes gleaming, before turning her attention to the boss. "Mechanic Regert," she began, her voice soft and gentle. "I have a young Student here who needs instruction. We have come a very great distance to meet with you. I was hoping you would honor this little one with your tutoring."  
Regert licked his lips uncomfortably. Fortunately for him, Wikki chose that moment to burst into the room, tears filling her striking yellow eyes. "Teacher!" she squealed, throwing herself into Regert. "Teeeeaaaacher..."  
"Please excuse me a moment," Regert sighed, turning his attention to Wikki. "There there, small one," he chuckled, stroking her antennae gently. There were two kinds of this gesture. The light, brush teachers used for their students and the hard, methodical rubs of those who were desperately in love. "You're supposed to be napping. What's the matter?"  
Wikki looked up at him. "I... I had a bad dream..." she sniffed. She was a very young Irken, only around five years old and was fairly new to the West Jihi Workshop. Her Nursery was close to the shop, and so she had been sent there at the earliest possible time. "It was scary!" Wikki burst into tears again.   
During the whole episode, the two strange Irkens had just stared, the smaller one more with awe than anything. Jendai just stood blushing. He couldn't help being embarrassed by his boss. Finally, Wikki forgot her dream and sat still beside Regert, playing with his dead antenna. "Sorry, about all this," he grinned, blushing himself. "Wikki's just a little thing."  
"Is she your...?"  
"My student, yes."  
The female Irken's hand flew to her mouth. "I-I wasn't aware... oh dear..." she kept muttering to herself, as if she were unaware of her rudeness. "No one told me you had a student already, Regert."  
"Wikki is a fairly recent addition to our little shop," Regert said through his teeth. "She came a few months ago." He failed to add that the female should have checked that a student as even on their way before suddenly showing up. The breach in protocol could be overlooked the first time.   
"But, but I need someone to teach this young Student!" she exclaimed. "We flew halfway across the planet to come here!"  
Jendai suddenly felt a sinking feeling. Now he knew why Regert had asked to see him. "That's why I brought him!" his boss was already saying proudly. "This shortie is the best we've got! Oh, he's got a good inch or more left in him, but he isn't growing so much right now. Must be the fumes." Regert was a fast talker when he wanted to be. "This," he pushed Jendai forward. "is our head mechanic, Jendai Kaalae. He's got great skill and still doesn't have a Student."  
"So... are you saying you wish me to give this brilliant Irken prodigy to..." she paused, trying to find the right words. "this..."  
"He's had several personal assignments from the Tallest and can assemble anything from scratch in forty-eight hours flat," Regert said quickly, smiling the whole time. "Currently, he's working on a voot cruiser owned by one of the Elite Guards."  
"This wonderful gift to Irk's society!" she smiled back. "It's done."  
"Good."  
Jendai's antennae tipped inwards in annoyance. How could Regert do this to him? He couldn't work with some little brat wandering around asking him fifty questions a minute. The blue-eyed Irken dug his elbow into his boss, who merely grinned at him. He groaned inwardly, there was no backing out now. He stole a glance over the desk at the child staring at him. Wide gray eyes met his. Strange. Few Irkens had gray eyes. He rose to his tip-toes, trying to see more of the little visitor. The small Irken looked to be around either seven or eight, and was already dressed in mechanic's clothing.  
"Thank you for your help, Sir," the female bowed to Regert before exiting his office, leaving the little gray-eye behind. He looked after her longingly, then returned his attention to the two adults. He looked lost.  
"I heard your name is Min," Regert smiled warmly. He patted Wikki on her thin shoulder. She giggled and waved at the gray-eye. He smiled at her. "Min, unusual name for someone in the Student class. You sure you aren't a Soldier transfer?"  
"Yes..." he murmured to the floor, scuffing the toe of his boot against the ground.   
"Well Min, I'll let you and Jendai get to know each other. I have some work to attend to in my office." The boss jumped from his chair, carrying Wikki with him. They made their way into his private quarters, leaving the two alone.  
"Come on then," Jendai muttered gruffly. He left the room, not even looking back to see if Min was following or not. His strides were long compared to the youngster's, so Min had to jog to keep up with him. "Hurry it up, I have an entire voot to put back together before I leave here."   
"Yes sir," came the eager young voice behind him.   
They reached station twelve, taking a moment to prepare. Jendai pulled his goggles on, beginning the explanation. "I have a reputation to uphold here, Shortie. But, I'll break it once so you can learn the ropes. I hope you learn quick because the boss doesn't pay me if the thing's still broken when its owner picks it up." He picked up the tool he'd been using and hoisted himself back up onto the piping. "When I call for something, hand it to me, you hear?"  
"Yes sir."  
Jendai sighed. It was going to be a long day.  
  
By noontime, the voot had been reduced to five pieces and Jendai was worn-out from explaining everything to Min. He had picked up that the little Irken was smart, as Min had memorized everything he'd been told in a matter of minutes. That would make for an efficient, quick, and skilled mechanic. He just dreaded the continuation of the day.   
Someone his size cut ahead of him in the line. Jendai normally just needed something to drink before he got back to work, but today, he had Min to watch out for. "Move aside," he growled, antennae tilted inwards in anger.   
"Sorry, Kaalae," the orange-eye murmured, sliding backwards. It was Kaml Tikem, Jendai's closest friend in the shop. His student, a teenage female called Lidge, stood behind him. She was close to moving out on her own, and was proud to show off that fact. "Didn't think you were in line."  
"Just getting the shortie something," Jendai replied, allowing Min to slide up in from of him. "And my usual."  
"You have a student?" Lidge exclaimed, peering around the two males for a glimpse of Min. "Nice. About time."  
Kaml playfully slugged her in the shoulder. She yelped in mock pain, remembering to keep her silence unless spoken too until they were seated. Jendai smiled at her in answer, then turned his attention to Min. He was reaching for one of the gooey deserts. "No, Shortie, you gotta eat something better. It makes you taller."  
"You should talk Jendai," Kaml laughed. "Everyone says you're gonna grow, so why haven't ya?"  
"Keep yer trap shut before I close it for you permanently," Jendai said, helping Min grab his lunch. He cast a look over his shoulder at Kaml and mimicked a welding torch welding the other Irken's mouth closed. Kaml responded with a pantomime of a lazer firing at Jendai's head. All chatter ceased as they approached the computer cashier. It scanned their items, then totaled them for the foursome. Kaml handed Jendai his half, and the blue-eyed Irken placed the cash in the receiving chute. The monitor flashed him a smiley face, before allowing them to pass on. As the unsaid leader of their group, Jendai scouted out their usual table and led them over to it. The two students plopped themselves down first, scooting over on the hard benches to allow their teachers to slide in beside them. Min dug into his lunch with the usual young gusto while Lidge and Kaml picked at theirs before actually eating anything. Jendai opened his ahki, a weak Irken alcohol, and downed half the contents.  
"So..." Lidge tried to start a conversation. "How's the voot coming, Jendai?"  
"Do you have to ask?" he groaned. "Whoever assigned that guy to be an Elite Guard needs a head check."  
Kaml chuckled. "Red," was all he said.  
"Never would have guessed," Lidge teased. A bright look suddenly crossed her face, filling her magenta eyes with excitement. "I heard a new joke today."  
Min's antennae perked with interest and Jendai imagined his were doing the opposite. Kaml's were fully upright. "Oh do tell!" the orange-eye practically shouted.  
"Okay!" Lidge thought for a moment, then began. "How many Reds does it take to fix a light?" Jokes about the red-eyed Tallest bounced around the Student class at a fantastic rate, not all of them innocent like this.  
"Aww... I've heard this one," Kaml complained.   
"Shut up," Jendai ordered. "I haven't." He gestured at Lidge with the bottle his drink was in. "Go on, short stuff."  
"Three! One to stare at it for an hour, one to forget about it and go find some food, and one to make Purple do it!" Lidge squealed.  
Min fell over laughing hysterically, Jendai chuckled good-naturedly and Kaml just hemmed. Noticing Min down on the ground, the blue-eye collected his student by his collar, pulling him back up to the bench in one deft yank. His student hadn't even noticed, he was laughing too hard. The joke hadn't even been that funny. Even Lidge had stopped her laughter to stare at Min. "Does he even know who Red is?" Kaml questioned.  
"Not a clue," Jendai responded. "Hey, Shortie?"  
Min's laughter cut off abruptly. His gray eyes were wide with questioning. "Yes, sir?" he asked.   
"Do you even know who Red is?"   
"I... I..."   
"Thought not," Jendai smiled sadly. His antennae tilted backwards, betraying his thoughts to the world. The Irken chewed his lip before taking a long swallow of the ahki.   
Kaml leaned his head towards him. "I'll handle this, Kaalae, chill out." He sat back, putting his hands behind his head. "Ever heard of the Almighty Tallest, shortie?"  
"Yes, sir." Min seemed to like that saying.  
"There's two, right?"  
"Yes sir."   
"Okay, then you know their names, right?"  
"No sir."  
Kaml groaned. "Red and Purple. Purple is the brains behind the whole Empire bit while Red is a bonehead who just sits around eating junk food." He leaned in to speak to Min directly, as if not wanting anyone else at the table to hear him. "Red's such an idiot cause he was originally a Soldier."  
"Really?" Min's eyes widened. "How do you know?"  
"Cause only Soldiers are that inept." Kaml nodded as he said this. "And Purple-"   
"Excuse me," Jendai growled, leaving abruptly. "The voot needs to be finished by tomorrow." He set his ahki down, walking away with a stiffness of stride unusual for him. His antennae were slicked completely down, a sign of both fretting and unwillingness to talk. Other Irkens scattered out of his way, not wanting a confrontation. He disappeared through the door leading into the workroom, never looking back once.  
The rest of the table sighed. "Sir?" Min inquired of Kaml. "Why did my Teacher leave so quickly?"  
Kaml squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. His student saved him, butting in as her personality required. "Jendai needs to tell you that on his own. Give him some time and he might just tell you," she advised. "But then again, he might not. Kaml's his best friend around here and he's only just hinted at it to him." Lidge shrugged. "Whatever's eating him, he just needs to have some 'Kaalae Time' before he's normal again."  
"Should I attend him?" Min asked quickly. Then added, "Ma'am," as an afterthought.   
"Are you Min Kaalae yet?" Kaml answered with a question of his own. "Has he allowed you to take his name?"  
"No..." the little gray-eye replied miserably.   
"Then you leave him alone to smack the voot cruiser around for a while," Kaml advised. "I swear, he'll be normal-or as normal as Jendai gets-in a few hours. He's an oddball, so everyone kinda stays out of his way or watches out for him, depending on his mood."  
Min was about to answer, but the computerized voice instructed them all back to work. Lidge and Kaml Tikem groaned. They ushered Min to their station, promising to give him back to Jendai when they day ended. Personally, they all hoped it would be soon.  
  
With a small groan, Jendai slid into his personal voot runner, more than ready to head home after a long day. His arms ached slightly as they always did. Fortunately, his voot practically flew itself with the modifications he'd made. He almost closed the front hatch when he remembered Min. He stood upright, scanning the roof of the shop that served as a landing pad for the workers' voot runners. A small body dashed through the crowd of Irkens. He waved to it, calling out in an attempt to get Min's attention pointed in his direction. Min finally noticed him and began weaving in and out of voots in various stages of departure, heading in his general area. "What do you do think you're doing?" Jendai demanded. "What's wrong with you! Brain worms?"  
"I-I'm sorry, Sir," Min mumbled. "But... what did I do?"  
The taller Irken grumbled to himself before answering. "Never run around voot runners like that!" He smacked the side of his for emphasis. "These babies look small and fragile but never forget they're machines that are bigger and stronger than you are." His eyes glazed slightly in thought. "I saw one of these knock over an Irken and bash his skull in once."  
"Sorry, Sir," Min replied. "I'll remember that."  
"You better," Jendai threatened. "Now, get in. We got a long ride in traffic ahead of us." Min obeyed, hoping inside. His teacher climbed in next to him, shutting the front hatch deftly. At a touch on the control panel, the voot launched off smoothly and merged carefully into the long lines of traffic that criss-crossed Irk's capital city like veins. He directed it across several until he found the correct road that would take him home. Min watched with awe the whole ride. Several drivers wove in and out of the traffic stream, causing jams and confusion. Jendai avoided the tangles with ease. His long, slender fingers glided over the control panel, guiding his small, swift craft along the roadway.   
The highway took them deeper into the heart of the big city. Buildings loomed above the transports, standing like guards. Higher streams of traffic cast shadows down on the lower ones, and then upon the streets below. Small transports wove in and out of larger ones in a display of hurried driving shown everyday along the same routes.   
Eventually, the buildings shrank in size and importance, offices and factories giving way to living quarters. Jendai let out a sigh of relief. He hated traffic, he always had. It was nerve-wracking, avoiding all the crazed Soldier drivers out there that would like nothing better than to run him off the road to save time. He'd seen enough of those "accidents." Carefully, he maneuvered the voot upwards towards the parking deck located at the top of a smaller sized living building. The little ship responded instantly. Min jolted abruptly beside him. "Sorry," Jendai flashed him an apologetic grin before returning his attention to his driving. The building's windows flashed by at an almost impossible pace as the voot ascended vertically. His fingers danced sideways, moving the ship in the direction they indicated. Slowly, he slid his fingers downwards, dropping the voot gently to the ground. It landed neatly in the circle that marked his space.  
Jendai allowed the engines to cool off before killing them. You saw enough melted engine casings in his business to appreciate the few extra minutes spent cooling yours off. Min leapt out first, scouting out the rooftop docking-bay before darting back to Jendai's side. The young Irken stood by as if to help Jendai out of his voot. The blue-eye gave him an odd look, jumping lightly to the ground. "I'm not THAT old, shortie," he snapped tartly. "Okay? I don't need help climbing out of a voot runner." Grumpily, he looked Min straight in the eye. "Got it?"  
"Yes, Teacher Kaalae."  
That rankled Jendai somewhat. His antennae tilted inwards briefly, then returned to their relaxed position as he headed for the door. A protective shield popped up around his voot, protecting it from theft or damage. It would only open again with his access code, eye and blood scan. He stepped up to the door, allowing his weight to trigger the newly installed opening mechanism. It slid open obediently, not giving the mechanic any time to tinker with it mentally. Muttering to himself, he stepped into the elevator, pulling Min in with him. The chute opened beneath them and the elevator dropped down three floors. Jendai's building was small in comparison to others; only about seventeen stories tall.   
The elevator door opened, allowing the two Irkens to make their way down the long winding hall. Jendai paused at a door on the left-hand side and punched his access code into the panel. There was a humming noise in the wall. After a moment, the door slid open with a soft "ping!" sound. Both Irkens strode through, the taller one in front. The interior of Jendai's "apartment" was colored in an odd shade of gray-blue, as was the tiled floor. They had entered into a kitchen area and stood before a table with a few chairs shoved roughly against it at odd angles. The standard kitchen equipment was against the far wall to their right. "Go get something out of the fridge if you're hungry," Jendai told his student over his shoulder. He was on his way to the closest thing he could lie down on-the couch. Behind him, he heard the door slide shut and lock as Min moved away.   
With a small groan, the blue-eyed Irken flopped down on his couch. His living room contained the standard bookshelves, couch, a few chairs, a large computer terminal for receiving and sending transmissions or for doing things around the apartment and a holovision set. The only thing he'd added was a long table cluttered with various parts and bits of engines, appliances and tools. Piles of electronic sketchpad lay at one end, a few opened to reveal plans for little inventions and the like. Jendai felt more tired than usual today. It was odd. He hadn't done much more than he always did. He felt like sleeping. His eyes closed slowly, allowing him to drift off without the distraction of light.  
He awoke sometime later to someone methodically rubbing his slight shoulders. "Hey, Sleepyhead," a feminine voice whispered. "You feeling okay?"  
Jendai rolled over. The Irken whom had been sitting on his back pod suddenly found herself perched on his chest. His antennae perked up as he smiled at her. "I'm fine. How long have you been home?"  
Leeri Olon blinked her purple-red eyes at him. "An hour. You?"   
"I have no idea," he said with a sigh. He grabbed her hands, pulling her down closer. Her antennae twitched back in surprise, but then relaxed almost instantly. Instead of kissing her though, he asked a question. "Did you see who I brought home?"  
She sat back abruptly. "Oh no, not Kaml again!"  
Jendai chuckled at her reaction. It was true, whenever Kaml had come around, the two were the butt of all of his jokes. Leeri felt the orange-eye needed a female someone other than Lidge around to tone him down a bit. Jendai agreed on occasion. "No, not him," he showed his teeth in a grimace. "Regert assigned me a student today."  
Leeri cursed, then covered her mouth. She backed off Jendai's chest so quickly that she fell off the couch... which jarred another curse out of her. The three-foot high chemical researcher glared up at him, curled antennae tilted so far inwards that they brushed each other. "And when exactly were you planning on mentioning this, Jendai Kaalae?" she snapped.  
He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge. "Dunno... soon as you were finished I guess..." Blush crept into his face, turning it a darker shade of green.  
"Where is he then?" Leeri questioned, putting her hands on her hips. There was a look on her face that told him she didn't quite believe him yet.   
"Last I saw he was in the kitchen."  
Leeri strode off in that direction, her hands still on her hips. She was muttering something about the idiocy of males. Jendai shook his head and jumped off the couch to follow her. He almost ran straight into her. She'd stopped in the doorway, staring at the little figure seated at Jendai's table drinking juice. Min looked up at them, blinking his wide eyes innocently. "Hello, Teacher Kaalae... ma'am. I hope it's all right that I'm drinking this," he said quietly. "You told me I should find something to eat, but there was nothing so I drank this."  
Jendai cleared his suddenly dry throat. "It's fine Min, I need to go shopping anyway, thanks for reminding me." The little gray-eye beamed at the genuine gratitude in his teacher's voice. "This is Leeri Olon," he said, indicating the smaller Irken beside him. "She's my... uh..."  
"Close friend," Leeri piped up, saving him from his typical awkwardness. "Very, very close friend." She flashed him a quick smile over her shoulder. He grinned back.   
"Ah, I see," Min answered promptly.  
"Who's hungry?" Leeri asked the two males, changing the subject abruptly. "Since the Almighty Tallest here decided he'd neglect shopping and mooch off me, he gets to come over and cook something in my kitchen." She reached back and squeezed his hand gently, lessening the impact of her words.  
"No problem, Leer," he said in reply. He motioned for Min to follow them out of the kitchen. "Whatcha thinking of?"  
"Whatever you feel like making," she said, taking him out of the kitchen. Min followed the pair at a respectful distance, boots tapping against the tiles on the floor. Once in the living room, they moved towards a normal-looking section of wall that suddenly opened into a door leading to another set of rooms. The décor of these were done in a purple-gray, which gave it a womanly feel. Leeri marched into them, pulling Jendai behind her. This was where she lived, after all. Once the pair had decided on living side by side, Jendai had installed the sliding wall panel that joined their two apartments into one. It hadn't been hard and was well worth the effort. They kept it closed whenever there were others around as such frivolities were frowned upon, even in the Student Class. Their society had become far too Soldier-dominated for ones with feelings like Jendai and Leeri had for each other. The smaller female laughed at Jendai's slow gawkiness, proceeding to drag him into the kitchen.   
  
"Oh, Jendai..." Leeri groaned, leaning back in her chair. "Where on Irk did you learn how to do that?" Min nodded his head in agreement.   
The blue-eye grinned over his shoulder at them from washing the dishes. "My old Teacher didn't just teach me mechanics," he said. "She taught me the great art of cooking as well." He scratched his head with one of his robotic legs. "If I'm not mistaken, old Daske Kaalae practically taught me everything I know... except for male things..." He blushed again, turning his attention to the sink. There was a scraping of a chair and the sound of footsteps as Min joined him. The little Irken removed his gloves with care, then plunged his small hands into the warm, silver-colored liquid. He giggled softly. Jendai shot him a faint smile before passing him a dish to clean. "Any room for me?" Leeri snickered, sliding up to Jendai's left. She removed her gloves as well and joined in.  
When the trio finished their dishes, Jendai took Min into his bedroom while Leeri found something to watch. "Computer," the blue-eye called upon entering his room. "Requesting extra bed added to room. Dimensions..." He paused, sizing Min up. "Four feet by... three feet." There was a beeping sound as his computer acknowledged the change. At the foot of his bed, four posts appeared, growing longer and looping around each other to form the bedframe. Hologram light spread from around the posts, gradually solidifying into Min's bed. Blankets and other necessities appeared soon after. "There ya go, shortie," Jendai said, heading for the door. "I can't fall asleep this early, so, get in bed and I'll see you when we have to go in to work, got me?"  
"Yes sir," Min sentence was interrupted with a yawn. "I will sir."  
Jendai chuckled. "Food and excitement does that too you. Night, shortie." He turned to leave, but was stopped by a small voice behind him.   
"Night, Teacher Kaalae."  
For some reason, it didn't bother him so much now.  
Leeri was waiting for him on his couch. He flopped down beside her, allowing her to lay her head on him while he snuck his arm around her. "He called me Teacher Kaalae..." he murmured. "Teacher Kaalae... I never thought I would ever hear that phrase again..."  
"I know it was bad when she died, Jendai, but that was four years ago," Leeri began gently. "You can't hide forever." She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the light from the HV perfectly. "I, for one, think it's good that Regert gave the little guy to you. You needed it."  
"I don't see you being called, Teacher Olon," he teased. Almost instantly, she tensed, her antennae flicking inwards. He knew he'd broached a sensitive subject. "Sorry, Short Stuff. I was just playing."  
She sighed, relaxing into him again. "I know, I know." Leeri turned her attention back to the HV set. "This is weird. It's like everything that upsets us is blasting in our faces tonight." Suddenly eager to put her theory to the test, the sometimes-hyper researcher looked back at the mechanic. "Did anyone tell any Red Jokes today?" she asked bluntly.  
Jendai winced visibly, antennae falling backwards. "You just HAD to bring that up, huh Leer?"   
"Oh 'Dai!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry! They didn't get into a discussion again, did they!?"  
He fidgeted nervously. "Yeah, sorta. Min was sitting with us and Lidge had this new joke. She told it and then they had to explain everything to the little guy..." he trailed off, not wishing to continue. Leeri hugged him tighter, trying to reassure him.   
"Sing me something happy," the adamant female instructed. "A mechanic song. All of you have such happy music."  
After a moment of thought, he sang for her. Kaml had always said there was a reason his throat didn't clog with dirt and become scratchy like everyone else's. He supposed this was it. Softly, in his sweet tenor voice, he sang one of the drinking songs that were always joyful, if not slurred with ahki or vinel.   
"Hey pretty thing want join me in a drink?  
Sit and drink some ahki  
How's life? How's your world?  
Mind if I put my hand on your face?"   
He paused when she giggled at the last line.   
"We can watch the world go by.  
Did you fix anything new today?  
Do I know you?  
What?  
No, I'm not drunk. I swear."  
Leeri laughed then. He knew she was thinking of all the times he'd accidentally had too much to drink. The thought made him blush.  
"Is it too early to say I love you?  
Oh, you don't think so.  
Wait, is that your hand...  
Yep.   
It is."  
Her hand moved to correspond with the song.   
"It isn't too early.  
Then...   
Then Leeri, I love you."  
To add flavor to the dryer version of the song, Jendai kissed her forehead. She looked up, then met his lips with her own. Her slight weight pushed him down on his back, forcing him to look up at her. Again, she sat on his chest, grinning evilly down at him. Methodically, she began rubbing his straight antennae between her fingers, massaging them as hard as she dared. He moaned, the sound having the sincere ring of pleasure. Jendai kissed her again, loving the feel of her tongue wrapping around his. He took his turn rubbing her antennae, straightening the feminine curls, then letting them wrap themselves around his wrists. Leeri slid her hands under him, working out the tenseness in the muscles. She couldn't keep her mouth off his or her hands from under his shirt. Jendai refused to stop rubbing her antennae or returning her kisses. It went on like this for a long time, lit only by the glow from the forgotten holovision set. Eventually, they relaxed; lying cuddled together, Leeri's head resting on her lover's chest. "I'd love to be here with you all night, Leer, but I have to go in early for the shortie tomorrow," he muttered apologetically, giving her forehead a quick peck. "And I'm tired for a reason that's beyond me."  
"Go on," she giggled, and pushed him towards his room. "I have some work to catch up on anyway."  
"Thanks," he smiled, getting off the couch. The blue-eye made his way off to bed, humming "Not Drunk" to himself.  
  
  
Chapter 2 coming as soon as I can get it done! 


	2. Two

Once again, all I own are the characters not in the show. Oh, and the Class system is mine. None of the songs I quote are mine.   
  
  
Chapter 2  
"Honesty is a hard attribute to find..."  
-Lifehouse, "Trying."  
  
"So... let me get this straight," Zim interrupted. "In the Student Class, adult Irkens get babies dumped on them to be taught their trade?" He arched an invisible eyebrow in confusion. "It sounds very inefficient."  
Jendai sighed, putting his head in his hands. "You're a Soldier, Zim. You don't know anything else than what you've been taught and robot arms," he looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I'm a Student, and that's how we live."  
"Ah yes. I see," the little Invader nodded. "And-"  
"And, yes, we are allowed to have relationships with other Irkens. It's just the way things work in our Class," Jendai explained before Zim could finish. "Leeri had all these theories about the differences between our Classes. Not just eye color." He tapped one of his handsome blue eyes for emphasis. "She felt that Soldiers were raised to be unable to feel anything, and to be totally self-absorbed." He chuckled suddenly. "You've proved her wrong at times, Invader. A lot of times." A dark look crossed his face. "She wanted to change the entire system."  
Zim leaned back against the wall, thinking. "But, that is the way things have always been..." he murmured. "Why would anyone want to change it?"  
"You didn't know Leeri..." Jendai told him. "Are you old enough to remember those uprisings...? They happened just as I left Irk..."  
"Yes, I was involved in several of the groups that were assigned to go to the bargaining sessions with the leaders of them, or at least, I was with my squad. Our leader explained that the reason you Students rose up was because-"  
Jendai held up a finger to silence him. "You heard that we were trying to overthrow the Tallest and become the leading class, didn't you?" he asked mildly. "I'll give you the real reason, Zim. They just wanted things to change. Students got sick of being attacked, beaten and put in prison when they tried to fight back. They were also sick of how when they were beaten, Soldiers showed no remorse or any other emotion. Many Students were mostly tired of the Empire glorifying 'emotionless Soldier drones.' They felt that all Irkens should be raised and should live the same." He paused, trembling. "Leeri was one of those Students."  
The Invader waited for him to calm down and continue. After a few moments, the big Irken's trembling eased and he started his tale again.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
She had waited until the soft sounds of Jendai's breath echoed from his room. Silently, she slipped from her spot beside his door and into her apartment. Once there, she ducked into her lab, grabbing the first thing her small hand touched. She knew what it was out of familiarity with its feel. Her heart hammered in her chest as it always did. Would he wake? What would she say if he did? She dismissed those thoughts and concentrated on the task at hand. After their little couch romance, it was unlikely he would wake up. Loving him like that was the only way she could guarantee he would stay asleep through the procedure. She slid through the wall panel, seeing easily in the darkness that was Jendai's apartment. The only light left on was the overhead orb in the kitchen. It wasn't that difficult for Irkens to see in low light anyway.   
Her footsteps were quiet, even on the tile of the kitchen. She was used to sneaking around in this manner. It had been going on for a week now, but it was only today that Jendai seemed to be showing signs of the secret night runs-that was most likely because she'd upped the dosage last night. The side effects hadn't been fully tested yet, although fatigue had been identified early on. She scolded herself mentally. It could just be that Min's presence had taken an extra toll on him that day. But she couldn't help getting her hopes up.  
Finally, after years of waiting, the Coalition would be revealed, and there would be nothing in their path to stop them.  
There was a pause in Jendai's usual sleep rhythms. She froze. Had he heard her? Her antennae drooped, relaxing, as Jendai snorted, shifted, then fell back into normal slumber. Cautiously, she stuck her head into the dark room, listening for Min's quiet breathing as well. Both were sound asleep. Like a shadow, she stole into the room, making her way around the two beds to Jendai's side. He was stretched out, relaxed and probably dreaming, his back to her. His shirt and gloves were gone, thrown over his cluttered desk at the other end of the room, but the band of his pants was visible under a fold in his blanket. She'd nearly tripped over his boots on her way in. Messy, messy 'Dai, she thought.   
Now came the most dangerous part. She had to get to his arm; preferably, the one she'd been using the whole week, his right. To do that, she would have to climb over him. With a soft sigh, she climbed slowly up onto the bed. Her antennae stood erect, broadcasting her concentration. She took a single step over him and found herself straddling his side. Very gently, she leaned over and picked up his slender, olive green arm from where it lay across the bed. Sliding her fingers delicately towards his shoulder, trying to find a place to begin. Eventually she found the small indentation in the skin. With a deep breath, she maneuvered the syringe from her lab over the spot and smoothly slid the needle into the indent. Jendai's antenna twitched at the prick but he stayed, thankfully, asleep. Slowly, she pushed the plunger down, injecting the chemical into his body. Once it ran out, she slid the needle out and capped it.   
The deed was done. She could relax and go home. Wary, she climbed down off the bed and quietly fled the room.  
Safely back in her lab, she refilled the syringe with the clear fluid and set it down with its fellows. She ran her hands over her head, rubbing her antennae in an effort to calm herself. She wanted to go to bed... but there was a transmission to make. Rubbing her forehead with irritation, she went to the large computer console and punched in the frequency. There was always someone awake where she was calling. After a few moments, the static broke to show an Irken face. A face covered by a mask of cloth. Blue-green eyes, a bizarre genetic flaw in the Solider, peered at her over the fold, the lights from an electronic implant illuminating them from the side of the Irken's head. To his left, a blaster lay cocked against the console. She could see another tucked into its case at his waist. One of the old-style sparring weapons was held on his back with a strap. The Elite Guard leaned back in his chair, giving her a curious look. "You're lucky I'm off duty, Leeri Olon," he said, voice un-muffled by the cloth covering his mouth. "Otherwise Rael would be on my green ass all day."   
"You don't look it, Sen," she replied. "What's with the lazer gun?"  
He shrugged. "New regulations. Tallest got wind of the Coalition and ordered us to keep one ready at all times. They don't know anything though," he added, lowering his voice. "We're safe for the moment."  
"Good," Leeri sighed heavily. Though Sen was one of the few Soldiers siding with the Coalition, it was unnerving speaking to him about such matters directly. She knew he could easily overpower her and any other Student he desired. Secretly, Leeri was unsure why a Soldier would join a group like the Coalition in the first place. Especially an Elite Guard, a position that involved dealing with both Tallest directly. "How much did they hear about us?"  
"Can't say for sure," Sen said with another shrug. "Enough to make all of us carry double weapons, I suppose." He patted the blaster at his hip. "Not that it helps any. The Coalition has too many friends in tall places for them to keep all of us at bay."  
Leeri nodded. "One day, all our plans will be fulfilled."  
Sen toyed with the safety on the blaster on the console for a moment. He held it up, aimed and mimicked firing. "Speaking of our plans, I assume this is why you contacted me?" he asked, setting the gun down.  
"Yes..." she hesitated briefly. That put the Elite Guard on alert. "Nothing's gone wrong," Leeri quickly explained. Sen relaxed. "Everything is going as we'd hoped. Jendai is still completely oblivious to our existence... and what we're doing."  
"Good," Sen drawled, his eyes squinting in pleasure. "So, you still have him wrapped around your antennae, I take it? We won't have any problems when he comes into power then?"  
"Yes to the first, no to the second," Leeri answered flatly.   
"Excellent-one problem," he interrupted himself. "He hasn't shown any signs that your 'wonder serum' is working yet." Sen ticked off the items with his fingers. "No fatigue, no other side effects, and most importantly, no increased height!" He leaned towards the screen. "You told the Coalition that there was a large chance that Jendai Kaalae was a perfect candidate for this. You said, according to his genetic readout which you obtained somehow, he had the exact blood type needed for this thing, and that he listened to whatever you said. You lied. This is not going according to plan!"  
"Would you just shut up and listen to me!" Leeri almost shouted. Amazingly, Sen quieted. "I believe the reason he wasn't showing any signs was because the dose was too small. Yesterday, I upped the dosage. Today, he was extremely exhausted from doing exactly what he does every single day. That was one of the side effects the team and I discovered right away." She stared him defiantly in the eye. "My serum is working. Jendai knows nothing. Everything IS going as we planned. Eventually, he will be as tall as we need."  
The anger in Sen dissolved. "Perfect..." he purred. His antennae were relaxed, tilting slightly back as was normal. Suddenly, the fell back even more. "You're positive he knows absolutely nothing of our plan?"  
"Yes!" she cursed. "I have to lie to him every time he asks why I'm in here or who I'm talking to or where I'm going after work. I hate it, Sen! I hate it! If it weren't for the good of Irk, I would come straight out and blow the whole thing! But I can't." Leeri hung her head. "I would never give the Coalition away. Even to Jendai."  
"You know that you're going to lose him anyway, Leeri Olon," Sen snapped harshly. "Once he's in place, we have to shut off all contact from you and everyone else in his old life. Looks bad, you know."  
The news stunned her. "But, but I thought you needed me to instruct him!" Betrayal rode high in her heart. How could she lose Jendai? This wasn't in the Coalition's plans! If it was, it had never been conveyed to her. "That was the whole reason why you picked him in the first place! He trusts me and I can easily manipulate him!" Once those words were out, she immediately regretted them. She hated saying it.   
"If you can do it, anyone can," Sen told her bluntly. "He is far too trusting of his Class for his own good. We will just have to be sure that a Student is the one to take over after you." The Soldier glanced at his wrist. "I'm on duty in a few minutes. Keep up the good work, Leeri Olon. Elite Guard Sen out."  
As the screen darkened and turned to static, Leeri laid her head against the console, feeling empty and betrayed by the one thing she'd thought would be true. She lay there for hours until eventually, she cried herself to sleep.  
  
"Six-hundred hours, Jendai Kaalae. Time for work," the computer bleeped loudly in his face. As always, the Irken jumped, suddenly becoming wide-awake. He knew something wasn't right the moment his eyes opened.   
He felt awful. His head spun as he sat up, he felt frozen, stiff and slightly nauseous. With a soft moan, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, trying to find his boots. Almost instantly, he regretted it. The motion only made his head whirl faster. Min suddenly appeared beside him, already dressed and fully prepared to work. "Teacher Kaalae?" he inquired. "Are you in need of my assistance?"  
Jendai massaged his forehead before he answered. "Yeah, thank you Min... Just get me into the bathroom and find my clothes, got it?"  
"Yes sir!" the young Irken responded brightly. He held out his gloved hand to help Jendai up off the bed. The blue-eye took it gratefully and hauled himself to his feet. Once this was accomplished, he leaned most of his weight on Min, slightly bemused at the strength he already possessed. Min nearly had to drag him into the bathroom. The short walk from bed to shower nearly drained all of Jendai's strength. How could this have happened? Last night he'd felt just fine. He had to go into work today... at least until Regert noticed his condition and sent him home before he infected the other workers. Min left him alone to shower and complete whatever else he needed to do. "Call when you need me, Teacher Kaalae," he said and quietly vanished behind the sliding doors.   
"If I can..." Jendai murmured to himself. Even his throat was complaining. Leaning on the walls for support, he made his way to the shower and turned the dial to hot. Sparkling silver liquid spewed from the showerhead, smelling faintly of metals. Steam filled the room with its scent, relaxing him. He shrugged off his pants and climbed in. The warmth from the liquid soothed his aches and warmed him immensely. His antennae relaxed visibly, plastering to his head with the moisture.   
A few minutes later, Jendai reluctantly climbed out of the shower, drying himself quickly with a nearby towel. On his days off, he preferred to use the air chamber, as it was warmer and faster, but it took more time to start up than a towel did. Slowly, he pulled his pants back on, earlier symptoms setting in as the relaxing effects of the shower wore off. Antennae drooping, he moved towards the door. "Min," he called hoarsely. "I need... my clothes."  
Abruptly, a robotic arm swooped down, carrying his gloves, shirt and boots. Little Min's work no doubt. He willed his back pod to detach itself from him while he pulled his shirt on. It crashed to the floor as soon as the wires were disconnected from Jendai's spine, evidence of his poor health. When the shirt was in place, it reconnected itself after much concentration. Next came his boots, and lastly his gloves. The blue-eye felt a bit better now that he was fully dressed. He stepped out into his bedroom, legs shaking under him. Min appeared once more, ready to be of service to his Teacher. He leaned on his student and hoped Leeri had left already.   
The drive to work was hectic. His dizziness kept on returning at the worst times, causing his driving to be like that of a beginner's. Min eventually suggested he put the voot on autopilot, allowing him to rest during the drive. Jendai agreed, his respect for the young Irken growing. He carefully punched in the coordinates and route then sagged back against his seat, half asleep. How on Irk could this have happened? He's felt no different, other than being tired, yesterday! Could he have cooked something wrong? No, then Min and Leeri would be showing his symptoms as well. Maybe he'd picked up a bad ahki at lunch... that was unlikely as well. All he wanted to do was sleep...  
"Teacher, Teacher Kaalae," Min's gentle shaking roused him from a doze. "We're there. Please wake up."  
He moaned, sitting up slowly. "Help me out of this thing, Min," he ordered. His voice sounded awful. He imagined he must look the same. Min darted around to his side of the voot and became Jendai's living walking stick. They rode the elevator down to the main workroom, scanned in, and headed for Jendai's workstation. Kaml and Lidge waved briefly before turning their attention back to the transport they were still trying to fix. The voot Jendai had been working on looked better than it had yesterday, but there was still a lot of work to be done.  
With a shaky sigh, Jendai pulled on his goggles and prepared to pull himself up on the pipe-but was stopped by Min's call. "Teacher Kaalae, sir?" He was bent over one of the parts of the main control panel inside the voot cruiser. "I um... think this is wrong..."  
Grumbling to himself, Jendai ambled over, suddenly feeling weak and nauseous. "What is?" he asked, leaning over himself.   
"I think you have the navigation system wired into the weapons system..." the young Irken mumbled, pointing to the mess of wires behind plastic casing. "See here? These three should be in these sockets, and those in those."  
Jendai blinked. After a moment, he bent over the wires, running his fingers carefully over them. Frowning, he stuck his head further in to study the circuitry. There was a stifled curse and he withdrew his head quickly. "So I do..." he murmured appreciatively before pushing himself dizzily to his feet. "Thank you Min. You're smarter than I thought." He smiled as he said the last bit, intending it to be teasing, rather than insulting. "From now on, you do the wiring, I'll do the welding."  
Min laughed. It was a happy, free sound.   
The hook attachment appeared from Jendai's back pod and pulled him up above the voot. Detailing would be long and arduous once he finished all of the other essential things that had to be done to repair the wreck. It had never been his strong point. Usually, he had one of the others in the shop to paint the things, while he pieced whatever they were working on back together. Sometimes, he'd worked out huge problems and practically saved his co-worker's career by repaying favors. He punched in the heat degree on the torch and-  
Abruptly fell off the pipe, his hook releasing its hold. The sudden crash alerted all the others in the large workroom. Such crashes were common, but one so early in the day was abnormal. Min cried out, darting to his Teacher. Kaml and Lidge were there soon after. The three formed a half-circle around the sick Irken, Lidge kneeling beside his head, while the others stood nervously. Jendai was obviously still conscious, but too weak to even retain the necessary mental control over his back pod attachments. The robotic legs suddenly appeared, then withdrew as various other attachments convulsed out in the same pattern. It took Jendai a few minutes to get himself back under control once more. Fretting, Lidge placed a gloved hand over Jendai's head, testing his temperature. With a cry, she yanked it back. "Kaalae's got a fever," she snapped at the staring males around her. "Bad one. It's sucking him dry of energy. He needs to go home ASAP."  
"I'm on it," Kaml responded. A communicator appeared from his orange and black back pod. "Regert, this is Kaml Tikem. Kaalae's got a high fever. Requesting permission to send him home with Lidge Tikem as escort immediately."  
There was a hiss of static before Regert's voice popped up. "Get him out of here. I don't want anyone else infected!" A moment passed before the boss spoke again. "Lidge, you be careful with him, ok? He's one of the best we have." The static fizzled again before there was silence from the communicator.  
"You heard the boss, Lidgers," Kaml said, letting the attachment slip away. His student's antennae fell back at the nickname. "Get him home in one piece." He turned to Min. "Can you drive your teacher's voot runner?"  
"Kaml!" Lidge snarled. "There is no possible way that an untried student who's barely seven years old could ever dri-"  
"I can," the gray-eye said with absolute confidence. "I watched Teacher Kaalae do it twice. And I'm eight," he told Lidge happily. "Not seven."  
Lidge rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she snapped irritably. "Get your legs out and let's get Kaalae here on his feet. They're stronger than you are, let them do the work while your real arms hold him," she instructed. Her magenta/black robotic legs emerged from her pod as she grasped one of Jendai's shoulders. He moaned quietly, just faintly recognizing the female who held him. Min copied her, easily hauling his share of Jendai's sick weight.   
The pair picked their delicate way towards the elevator, dodging carefully around workstations. Once in the elevator, they retracted the legs, as there wasn't enough room within the tiny space for them. Lidge was slightly out of breath, but Min was fresh. She cocked her head at him, saying nothing. The little male was odd. He was far stronger than anyone his age had a right to be. It was rare to find a Soldier that strong at that age even. At her feet, Jendai was oblivious to the world, seeming sound asleep in a heap on the plastic floor. Every once in a while, an antenna would twitch slightly, letting them know he was still alive. He was pale and sweaty due to the fever racing through his slender frame. Lidge pitied him. She had always been fond of the blue-eye... even though she knew he was taken. Leeri Olon was far more attractive than she would ever become. Plus, he was older than she by years. Kaml's lectures on lovers had taught her to frown on those pairings. Still... it had almost felt good to carry him around like an infant. If only she had met him under different circumstances... The elevator reached the rooftop, halting any further thoughts of affection towards Jendai Kaalae.  
Once again, they hefted Jendai again and made haste towards his voot. "I have to go power mine up now," Lidge said, setting her burden down inside his transport. "You can handle it from here, I assume?"  
Min nodded. He slid into the seat beside Jendai, taking the controls. Soon, his voot rose into the air, followed closely by Lidge's. A panel on the controls suddenly popped up with a transmission from the magenta-eyed female. Min jumped at the sudden noise, his antennae falling back. "Chill, just me," she grinned. Her voot abruptly moved in front of his. "You don't have the coordinates, and I doubt Kaalae there would be able to tell you. Follow me."  
The orange voot runner sped off into traffic; blue one following as fast as possible. The controls of the transport were harder than Jendai had made them look, and Min was having trouble keeping it on a straight course. Student-issue voot runners were sleeker and lighter than their cruiser cousins. They had no bulky weapons, but were heavily shielded in case they ever came under fire. Two storage compartments were installed on each side, as Students had far more gear to carry than Soldiers. Unfortunately, their driver panels were ultra-sensitive. Every time Min's finger wavered, so did the voot. And when the voot wavered, Jendai moaned quietly, stirring to almost the point of waking. Lidge's constant coaching from the little screen did no good either. Her sharp voice just made him more nervous. Suddenly, she cursed. Min cocked an eye at her. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Just I remembered you need an access code to get into anywhere in those apartments!"  
Min cleared his throat.  
"Don't tell me you memorized that too!" Lidge shook her head. "You're sure smarter than you look," she mumbled. "Could have used you during tests!"  
"Thank you," he said, smiling.   
After what seemed like hours, they landed on the rooftop of Jendai's building. Lidge parked her voot beside Jendai's temporarily. No shield popped up, due to the double-parking job; albeit that Lidge had done a brilliant job of it. Their robotic legs emerged again, propelling them to the apartment. Min's memory served him well, and in no time, they had Jendai safely tucked in his bed. "Go get him some juice," the female instructed. "He needs liquids with a fever."  
Min bobbed his head in answer before ducking out the bedroom door.   
Finally alone with her sick charge, Lidge hummed softly to the both of them. Jendai was sleeping fitfully; sweat darkening his pillow. "How did you get so sick without us knowing?" Lidge murmured. Tentatively, she reached out to stroke his antennae, a gesture only allowed to those as close as he and Leeri were. Kaml had done it for her when she was very young as a reassurance during nights when she'd woken frightened of nightmares. She almost missed it. Carefully, she stroked the long black appendages, savoring the forbidden moment. The contact felt even better than she'd imagined it would, possibly because she knew how taboo it was. Jendai groaned, stirring in his sleep. "Leeri?" he croaked.  
She winced. "No, me," she whispered. "Lidgers."  
A blue eye slid open partway. "Lidge?" he asked, stifling a cough. "What are you doing here?"  
"Kaml and Regert made me bring you home," she explained. "Min drove. I just led him here." At his shocked look, she laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "He learns quicker than any of us thought. Took him two minutes to figure out how to start your voot."  
Before Jendai could respond, Min entered, carrying an overfull glass. A few drops spilled on the floor, turning blue-gray carpet to red. "I brought you some juice, Teacher Kaalae," he explained, holding out the glass. "Miss Tikem told me you needed some."  
"Not thirsty," Jendai mumbled. "Put it on the table..."  
"Kaalae," Lidge growled, a warning note in her voice. "It's got good stuff in it. You need to drink it. You have a fever. You're so weak you can hardly control your attachments. You practically passed out in the middle of the workroom. You've scared Kaml, Min, Regert and me out of our minds. I doubt a glass of juice would do anything to you."  
"I'll drink it when Leeri gets home..." the blue-eye groaned, closing his eyes again. "I just want to sleep..."  
Lidge growled again, grabbing the glass from a startled Min. One of her robotic legs reached around Jendai, pulling his head forward. She thrust the glass against his face, cocking an invisible eyebrow at him, her eyelashes fluttering. Females were often more deadly than males, when they wished, and Jendai knew it. His eyes widened slightly. "Feel like sleeping now?" Lidge asked. He shook his head slightly. Lidge allowed him to lie down once more. She held the juice for him, watching him take long, slow swallows. Eventually, the last drop had vanished. His whole body fell limp, worn out from the small effort. He coughed a few times, then quieted as sleep set in.   
"Thanks..." was all the mechanic had time to mumble before he was out once more.   
Min sat on the edge of his bed, toying with one of Jendai's old, discarded inventions. It looked like a blender motor, a blaster cartridge and some item even Lidge couldn't identify all fused together and painted blue. A robotic hand emerged from Min's pod, handed him a tool, then slid back into the pod. The little student began to tinker with it, eyes large in wonder. Lidge sighed. Making sure he wasn't looking, she rubbed Jendai's antenna again, harder this time but with the same, easy rhythm. Jendai sighed, turning in his sleep. She smiled. "Computer," Lidge called. "Make sure-"  
"Voice not authorized."  
Lidge cursed, kicking the ground. "Of all the things..." she let the words trail off. She should have known Jendai wouldn't have her voice logged into his security systems... Kaml's had been added only recently. The blue-eye was so forgetful sometimes. She remembered asking him about it a while ago and he'd waved her off saying he would get around to it eventually. Apparently, "eventually" hadn't come yet. "Min," she called, turning her attention towards him. "I need to get back to work now. Can you stay here with him until Leeri gets home? The computer can take care of you if you need something. Kaml'll keep his com-link thing on, and Jendai has the frequency written down on his desk someplace."  
"I'll do my best," Min replied. "Do you have any instructions before you leave, Miss Lidge?"  
"Uh..." Lidge had to think for a moment. She wasn't used to being asked for her orders. Personally, she hoped to the mother of Irk she never got a student of her own. "Get him to drink something every hour. Keep testing his temperature and hook him up to a monitor implant if it gets any higher. The computer has all the details." She patted the sleeping blob of Irken before departing the room.   
  
Leeri rubbed her eyes tiredly. It had been a long, long day. One of her colleges had handed her the wrong vial and she had inadvertently mixed it with her solution, resulting in an acidic-like substance that burned instantly on contact with her skin. She massaged her arm worriedly. The usual chemical rinse hadn't done much good on the burn. She now sported a bandage wound around most of her arm. The Irken whom had messed up with the vials had been suspended for a year without pay. Leeri almost felt sorry for him... Almost.  
Using her good hand, she typed in her access code and entered her apartment. With a deep sigh, she reclined against the wall. Maybe Jendai was home and could make her feel better. His presence always eased whatever she was feeling. She moved into a quick walk, heading for the wall door. It slid open with its usual "PING" that Jendai had installed to let the both of them know when the other was coming in.   
Rather than Jendai's usual, "hey short stuff," there was a frantic yelp that put her on alert. Little Min came rushing in, teary-eyed. "Miss Leeri!" he cried. "Teacher Kaalae won't wake up! I need help! I've tried everything! Please Miss Leeri!"  
"What do you mean, he won't wake up?" Leeri gasped. Her pulse raced. What could have happened? The serum. The side effects they had never discussed! What had she done to him...? If she lost him... Leeri couldn't think like that.  
"He-he got sick this morning," Min explained. "He was dizzy, really tired, and he had a fever. When we got to work, he couldn't keep his pod attachments working so Miss Lidge Tikem brought him home. She told me to wake him up every hour to get him to drink juice, but he won't wake up and I can't make the computer listen to me! He's all pale and he's coughing and I'm scared Miss Leeri!" He was sobbing by the time he finished.   
Leeri patted his shoulder gently. "Come on, little one," she said urgently. "I'm going to make the computer listen, ok?"  
"Kay..."   
She set off for Jendai's bedroom at a brisk pace. Her mind raced, assessing the situation. Jendai had a fever, was exhausted, was having coughing fits, dizziness, and was most likely unconscious. All those symptoms had to be side effects from the serum. That meant it was working. Leeri didn't know what she would do if she'd done something terrible to Jendai... She didn't know how she could survive if she lost him. If. There were so many if's. Entering his room, she almost cried out in despair. Jendai hadn't moved since Lidge had left. He was pale. That was the first thing she noticed. Next she took stock of the sweat shining on his face, slicking his antennae down. That wasn't good. Irkens never allowed their antennae to fall back unless afraid or upset, which was rare. And they never fell while asleep. Every so often, a cough would shake his slight frame as the wind violently shook whatever trees were left on Irk. Then he would moan softly before laying still once more. Beside his bed, the computer hummed in idle mode.   
"Computer!" she called after a deep breath. "This is Leeri Olon."  
"Voice authorized," the electronic voice beeped. "Awaiting request."  
"Medical Mode."  
"Processing."  
Leeri tapped her foot in impatience. How out-of-date was this thing? Mechanics never got the latest Student equipment. "Request granted," it said finally. Several different options appeared on the screen, each for a different emergency.   
"Requesting medical scan implant."  
A mechanical arm appeared out of the ceiling, swinging down towards her. She snatched the tiny device away from it, heading over to Jendai's side. He looked even worse close up. She could feel the heat from his fever even from this distance. Deftly, she inserted the little implant on the side of Jendai's sweaty neck, checking his pulse even as she did so. It was slow, yet steady. She moved to the console of the computer and looked at the readouts from the implant. "Elevated temperature," she noted, marking the side effects mentally. "Slowed metabolic rate, dehydration, nausea..." Leeri's scientist mode wore off as she stared at the host of foreign chemicals messing with her lover. She sighed. The only good sign was the high level of growth hormones in his blood. That meant he was growing. And fast, judging by the levels. No matter what it was doing to him, she had to continue the doses of serum. It was the only way. As much as she wanted to take him to a medical center for expert treatment, there was no way she could let them see these levels, or the chemicals. She would just have to rely on Jendai's computer for help. "Suggested treatment?" she asked the computer.  
"No suggestions," the disembodied voice replied.   
Leeri growled. Stupid mechanic computer... "Wake Jendai Kaalae."  
"Unable to comply."  
She growled once more. This wasn't going well. Thinking, she tapped the console, eventually pulling up a window. "Begin fluid input?" the computer asked.  
"Yes," she answered. "Continue until hydration levels are adequate, then resume if they become unstable once more."  
"Complying." An IV appeared from the ceiling, filled with the silver/green liquid, and attached itself to Jendai's arm. He groaned quietly. Leeri moved to his side and took his gloved hand in hers. Min was sitting on his bed, tears of fright dried by now. He'd picked up the little invention once more, toying with it again. Leeri watched him, a detached feeling of sadness filling her. She turned back to Jendai. How could she have done this to him? "Oh love," she whispered. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."  
Her answer was a sickly cough.  
  
Okay, this might get confusing so here's a little index thingy...  
  
Voot runner: Student transport. Like Zim's ship, only with double storage capacity and no weapons. Lighter, heavier shielding, more sensitive in controls.  
  
Voot Cruiser: Soldier transport. Zim's ship. Heavier, less shielding, less sensitive controls. Weapons suited for defense, not assault.  
  
Student: a member of the Student Class  
  
teacher: a member of the Student Class who is assigned a young Irken to instruct on how to correctly do the job they were assigned in a Nursery. Their last name is passed on in a very important ceremony to their student once their requirements have been reached.  
  
student: a member of the Student Class who is learning under a teacher. 


	3. Three

YES! A new chapter! ...Something went screwy with the first part when I was typing it and I dunno how to fix it so if it looks weird... don't hurt me! I'm not good with computers and I have no idea how to fix it...   
Also, things are going to slow down cuz I got skool starting again and I can't be typing all day long anymore. Nevertheless, I will finish this story because you love me! You love me sooo much!! You know by now what I do and do not own.   
*Looks at huge mob of Jendai-crazed fangirls* O_o;; I think I'm going to regret this chapter... this chapter can only make things worse... Back! Back I say! *chases crazed fangirls with flamethrower*  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
"Can you see me up here?  
Would you bring me back down?  
Cause I've been living to see my fears as they  
fall to the ground  
And I remind myself of somebody else now ..."  
-Lifehouse, "Somebody Else's Song"  
  
Jendai had stopped speaking once again. His lanky frame trembled, from both cold and something else. Zim handed him one of the blankets from the bed, taking the other for himself. "You want anything?" the Invader asked.  
"Gin," the blue-eye answered, showing his teeth in a grimace/smile. "And the bottle."  
Zim called in the order to his computer, asking for a hot chocolate. He'd come to be fond of the drink after his first winter stuck on Earth. It had a creamy taste and sweet flavor that had been unknown to him on Irk. The two waited in silence for a while, Jendai acting as if he wanted to save his breath for the remainder of his story. His shaking had eased with the added warmth from the thick blanket. He looked at the walls, gaze far away as he re-lived his illness in his mind. The drinks came, one billowing steam in the cold air, the other fogging up even in this chill. Jendai took a long pull from the bottle as Zim blew on his to let it cool. The big Irken's trembling had fully eased by now. He took a deep breath, relaxing within the warm blanket and with the warmth from the drink. Color re-entered his green cheeks.   
"So, Invader," he said. "Any questions before I begin again?"  
"You do not seem to be enjoying this," Zim said bluntly.   
"It's hard re-living the troubles of your life," Jendai answered with a heavy sigh. His robotic legs appeared, pushed him further back on the bed, then vanished from sight. He set the bottle down before placing his useless legs into a folded position. "Especially ones you've tried to forget since the moment they happened..."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
He hardly remembered anything from when he was unwell. What he could recall was hazy, clouded by the fever dreams and the illness. There were flashes of Leeri wiping a wet cloth over his head, pictures of her worried face leaning over him. Sometimes Min would be there too. And even a brief glimpse of Kaml, saying something that would have probably made him laugh had actually been aware of what was happening around him. But mostly it was just darkness. There were times where he would wake completely, look around and then fall back into darkness. Within the darkness, he was constantly haunted by familiar shapes, telling him he even in unconsciousness, things hadn't changed. Kas was still there.   
Jendai didn't know how long he'd lain there, unconscious and most likely half-dead. He just knew it was a very long time. When the mechanic fully awoke, he was starving. All his other symptoms were gone. Other than his hunger, he felt fine. Things fell in and out of focus as he sat up, rubbing his neck drowsily. He left the medical implant in. Who knew if he would fall sick again, or if something worse would happen? Leeri must have put it in. "Computer?" he called, voice cracking slightly. Odd, it sounded deeper than normal... it had to be an aftereffect of the sickness. No other reason. "Date?"  
"8th day, 4th week, 3rd month, 87465," it replied.  
Jendai shook his head. He'd been sick for three weeks. Regert was going to kill him. "Any messages?" he asked, placing his head in his hands. He could just picture his boss's face when he strolled back into work tomorrow. There was no way he could go in today, no telling how late he was.  
The first four were Regert himself, asking him when he was coming back, telling him to come back, asking him if he was dead, and things like that. Two were Kaml, basically doing the same thing. Lidge had contacted him quite a few times, saying she wished he were better and that she wanted to see him soon. The last message sent a chill up his spine, and a pain through his "heart".  
"Jendai Kaalae, I know this is your frequency. It's been a while, my friend. A very long while. Your boss told my personal guard you were ill and unable to complete work on his voot cruiser. He also obtained your frequency from Regert Shrig. I... I guess... I guess I wanted to make sure you're alive... I knew you were sick anyway. Heheh, the medical teams had a field day trying to figure out what was wrong. That was funny. Anyway, what happened to you, my friend? I hope you're all right. I guess... There's no way you'd be able to contact me back... but... It's good to know you were doing well. Kasden Aman-er, me-er-whatever. I dunno what I'm supposed to be saying here anymore... me out..."  
Kasden Aman...  
Kas...   
Now that was a name he hadn't heard in years. It had been erased from practically everything, but not his mind. Still keeping his eyes closed, lest he see the image of Kasden Aman on the screen, he rose to put his computer back in idle mode. A sudden wave of dizziness rocked him. Staggering, he put his hand against the wall to steady himself, eyes flying open. What he saw never left his memory.  
He was tall.   
His eyes widened in horror as he stared at the tattered remains of his clothing. Aghast, he lurched towards the mirror he kept above his desk. It now only came to just below his thin waist. His pants had tightened, constricting him there. They were the only part of his wardrobe that hadn't been affected as they hadn't been tight against his skin like the rest of his clothes. He knelt down, staring at his reflection in pure dismay. His shirt was torn, hanging on him like rags. The soft fabric of his gloves hung loosely off of longer, more delicate fingers. He turned around slowly, almost tripping over what remained of his boots. Just like the rest of his body, his back pod had grown huge. How had this happened?   
What had happened to him...? Jendai fell back against the wall in despair. He stared at the ceiling in a dazed horror. It was all too familiar... Too painfully familiar. Not this again. No, it couldn't be happening again. Not again. No. Only this time, it wasn't Kasden Aman... it was him... Jendai Kaalae. He was turning into-had turned into the very thing he'd hated ever since that day in his Nursery. That day... that awful day... came back to him, clearer than ever...  
...The Nursery Monitors had just announced the news. "Because of overcrowding of their Academies," the head Monitor had said. Her face had registered a look of disgust, her voice filled with scorn. "we will be hosting a Squad of Soldier trainees in our Nursery."  
Jendai had sat quietly in his corner. He didn't know what a Soldier was. The older Irken children grumbled, making threats against whatever Soldier dared go against their bands. They were the ones who knew everything about the outside world. They were the ones who were in charge. They were the toughest Students, with defiant airs few lacked. The more passive youths just stared in confusion, hoping no one would pick on them any more than they were already. He listened silently to them, absorbing the information they gave. He was small for his age, and his taller Nursery mates never let him forget that. No one harmed him, they were all Students here, but their constant verbal reminders made him strengthen his little body until he was stronger than them. Now, they respected him more than they flaunted their height.  
The Squad of Soldier trainees had come later that day while they were outside playing. All games stopped as the children stared at the uniformed mass of Irkens marched towards them. Their commander barked out a few orders and they dispersed into the play-yard. A few hours passed peacefully before a group of them targeted Jendai, the tallest of them starting up the usual array of insults. The robots that patrolled the grounds were out of sight, attending to another emergency. "Lookit the tiny thing!" he laughed. His three friends laughed as well, one poking at Jendai. Already, they held the prejudice against Jendai's Class he would soon become so familiar with. "He should be a freak, he's so small."  
"He'll be the first ever Freak in the Students," one with a fat head laughed. "Wonder how much that would pay?"  
"Leave me alone," Jendai muttered, turning away. His antennae drooped. The tall one grabbed him by his back pod.   
"Whatcha gonna do if I don't, Freak?" he snapped, laughter long dead.  
It was then that Jendai socked him. He hit him hard, between his red eyes. Those awful red eyes. His other hand balled up into a small fist, ready and waiting. Someone took a swing at him from behind, sending him sprawling into the leader. Jendai ignored the others, his anger solely focused on the tall one with the bruise between his eyes. He hit, kicked, tackled and did anything and everything to keep himself from being hit back. Punches came at his back, his head, his chest... everywhere. Some he ducked, others he allowed. There was no way the small Irken would come out on top, it was three against him-the tallest one had dropped out when Jendai had socked him under his chin.   
Finally, they backed off, leaving him bruised, but the victor. Their leader had ordered they back off, probably too embarrassed to let his lackeys fight his battle for him. He watched them go, laughter bubbling up inside him. It burst out, sounding dark, hating, and malevolent. The other Irken children turned to stare at him in shock, then resumed their play. The group never came near Jendai again. They moved off to find another, less aggressive target.  
They found Kasden. He wasn't their ideal target, being on the taller side, but he was skinny and weak. His purple eyes were of little help either. They were a color the Soldiers were used to only females having, which made him more of a target.   
The first time Jendai ever witnessed the group beating up on Kasden was a month after his own assault. His bruises had gone, healing from black to a normal olive-green. From around a corner, he watched them advance on the purple-eyed Irken, throwing insults before fists. Again, the robot monitors were out of sight. He remembered his own beating. Remembered the anger, the hate, the fear... His antennae flicked inwards angrily. He strode up to the group, trying to drown the Irken cries from his head. From behind the nearest Soldier, he watched them hit the purple-eye repeatedly, laughing at his pain. As he stared, the purple-eye looked at him, his gaze pleading as he recognized Jendai from playing together earlier that day. "You leave him alone," Jendai snapped, shoving the Soldier aside roughly. "You're mean, Des. Leave him alone."  
The leader, Des, whirled to stare at who dared interrupt them, lackeys imitating him. When they realized who he was, they backed off and fled. Jendai leaned down and helped the battered purple-eye up. "They picked on me too," he explained. "I know how it feels."  
"Th-thanks," the purple-eye stuttered. "I'm Kasden. You can call me Kas."  
"My name's Jendai. You can call me 'Dai." Jendai then took a long look at the other Irken. He wasn't surprised to see black spots spreading from the point of impact across the light green arms and face. "Are you okay?"  
Kas sniffled a bit before answering. "I'm 'kay," he said. "You saved me."  
"Yup yup," Jendai grinned evilly. "I punched Des when he picked on me 'fore. Now he's scared." This produced a giggle from his new companion. "But now they know you don't punch. That's bad 'cause now they'll hurt you when I'm gone."  
A look of terror crossed Kas's purple eyes. It was replaced by a thoughtful one. "I have an idea," he said. "I hear' from a book that if you trade blood you can feel when an other person is in trouble." He began to tug at the fabric of his glove.   
Jendai cocked his head to the side, puzzled. "So, if we trade blood, I can feel when Des is hurting you and I can come save you again?"  
"Uh huh."  
"Neat!" Jendai exclaimed, pulling off his glove as well. "What'er we gonna cut us with?" he asked.  
A slender, robotic leg slid out of Kas's back pod. The sharp tip gleamed in the sunlight as Jendai gawked at it. "You got legs already?" he almost yelled. Only the older children-the ones about to be attached to a teacher-were allowed attachments to the pods on their backs. The monitors kept telling him he was near getting his.  
"Uh-huh," Kas answered. "I'm advanced, the monitors say." His glove fell to the ground, revealing his thin, finely boned hand. His hand was formed differently from Jendai's, being fragile where his were thick. The leg reached around to cut a small nick in a finger. Rose-colored blood welled up. Jendai put his hand forward, allowing the leg to do the same. It stung horribly. Wincing, the young Irken placed his hand against Kas's, letting their blood mingle. "How long are we s'posed to do this?" Jendai asked.  
"Leave it for a while, I guess," his new friend answered.   
As the moments passed, the glazed look of pain slowly left Kas's eyes. Jendai could feel the bruises on his own arms and on his own face. It was then they pulled their hands apart. The pain didn't recede. Kas grinned at him. "It worked," he said, pulling his glove back on. His eyes followed Jendai's movements with a flicker of joy. "We're blood-brothers now."  
"Neat!" Jendai cheered.   
Kas rubbed his bruises carefully. "It hurts less."  
"I hurt," Jendai said truthfully, yanking his own glove on. A pout formed. "Bad."  
"Stupid tall Des."  
"Yeah."  
"Stupid tall Irkens."  
"Yeah. They're all meanies."  
Weeks went by, they were safe, growing closer than every with their newfound kinship. They were hardly ever absent from the other's side. The Nursery workers applauded their friendship and encouraged it at every opportunity. It was a rare thing to find Jendai not in the same playgroup as Kas, and vice versa. The one day it happened almost ended one of their lives.  
Jendai had been assigned to his usual round of practicing how to put things together, without Kas, as he was off in the room that housed the books. The day went fine, until the middle of Jendai's session when agony seared through his little body. Terrified, he'd gotten up and run off, calling Kas's name. An hour later, he found his best friend, passed out in the corner of the book-room, obviously beaten. The young purple-eye hadn't been breathing, and his back pod was missing. Fortunately, the Nursery workers had come in time to save the Irken child from an untimely death. He'd never voiced it to anyone, but Jendai had always known Des was the one responsible. He'd seen the Soldier trainee scuttle off into the darkness just as the adult Irkens had arrived. His want for revenge of his friend never came. Just days after the incident, when Kas was recovering in the Nursery's medical facility, the squad left, taking Des with them.   
Afterwards, the blood brothers grew up both fearing and hating those who were tall. Tall ones got you in trouble. They made fun of you. They hurt you bad. Eventually, they outgrew the Nursery and moved on to become attached to teachers. They kept in touch, contacting each other every day. Kas was becoming a fine scholar-one who kept up on Irk's history and literature-while Jendai's mechanical skills soared. Then that fateful day came. Kas contacted Jendai with an urgent tone. When the blue-eye switched on the screen, he did a double take. Kas's midriff was all that now fit on the screen. "What happened to you?" the teenage Jendai squeaked.   
"I don't know!" came the voice of Kas from high above the console. "I mean, I noticed I was getting taller but... today I can't fit in my room!" The worried, purple-eyed face ducked into view. "Teacher Aman told me I'm to go before the Tallest..." he muttered, fear filling his odd eyes.  
Jendai had had no idea of what to say. His best friend had become what they had hated so deeply. "Maybe you won't be tall enough?" he suggested hopefully, trying to grasp at an option.   
"'Dai!" Kas exclaimed. "Look at me! You can't deny I'm the tallest thing you know!"  
"Good luck then, Kasden," he'd said, and switched off the screen.  
That had been the last time he'd ever seen Kasden Aman. He sat down heavily, burying his face in his arms. Tears eluded him. His hunger had disappeared, leaving him weak and frightened. The question nagged at him. How had this happened? Leeri. Leeri would know. Almost painfully, he pulled himself back up onto his feet. He made his way carefully to Leeri's apartment, hoping Min wouldn't notice him. He hadn't seen skin or antenna of the little guy in ages. The trip passed without incident-one thing to be grateful for. The "ping!" of the door startled him slightly, as he hadn't heard for a long while.   
Once inside the apartment, he strained to hear any sign of Leeri. Faintly, he heard a murmuring from her lab. Deciding that was her position, he staggered towards it, robotic legs catching him from falling several times. If he was going to stay this height, he'd better get used to his unwieldy long legs sooner or later. He felt like a stick. A big, tall, ungainly stick. He knocked on the door softly, not wanting to shock Leeri by entering as he was now. When nobody answered, he carefully stuck his head in, antennae perked forward. Leeri was talking to someone on her console. Jendai couldn't see who it was, but the voice was male and held the firm ring of one of the Soldier Class. His eyes clouded in confusion. What was Leeri doing chatting with a male Soldier? "I haven't checked on him in a long time," Leeri was saying. She sounded tired and upset. "His fever was lessening the last time I went in. It seemed his body was adjusting well."  
What? Jendai wondered. He slipped silently inside the room, ducking to fit. Now he could easily see the figure on the monitor without it seeing him. His suspicions were confirmed. A male, blue-green eyed Soldier reclined in his chair. He wore the uniform and bore the arms of an Elite Guard. Jendai scowled. "How tall has he gotten?" the Guard asked, antennae pricked forward with interest.  
"I last measured him at five feet, seven inches tall," Leeri replied coolly. "Just as tall as They are."  
The Guard tapped his chin. "We need him taller," was all he mumbled.  
"Then you will have to wait to put the plan into action until I can manufacture more of the serum," she snapped, antennae flicking inward. "It will be at least two weeks, Sen."  
There was a nervous clicking of a safety. "And after that time?" he asked, playing with a blaster. It was a sleek, powerful weapon, one of those that had several settings that could kill or maim with a single shot. Jendai watched it flutter across the screen as the guard moved with a mechanic's detached awe. "Will the Coalition be poised to move against the Tallest?"  
Jendai's eyes widened. His previous emotions were forgotten. The words rang fast in his head, blurring together as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Collation? Move against the Tallest? Serum? He had to hear more. Cautiously, he crept closer, trying to not be seen. His desperation to find out what had happened soon overrode his caution and he moved too close. Too late he saw Sen's blue-green eyes widen in horror. Too late he noticed the twitching of Leeri's antennae. The guard let out a curse, jumping up and cocking his blaster out of habit. Leeri whirled around, her fear soon dissolved by the regret evident in her purple-red eyes. Sen had already run off, yelling for someone. "How long have you been there?" she asked him, avoiding his gaze to switch off her console.   
The now-tall Irken did little to hide his misery. "What did you do, Leeri?" he moaned, falling to his knees, burying his face in his hands. "What did you do!?"  
He felt her take his suddenly huge hands in her small, delicate ones, pulling them away from his face. "Please, 'Dai!" she pleaded, her expression one of hope. "This was for the good of all Irk! With a Student like you as Tallest, there's hope for us!"  
"What do you mean?" he asked warily.   
"You'll be the Tallest. The one and only Almighty Tallest, Jendai Kaalae," she explained, fingering the shredded fragments of his gloves. "Once we reveal your height, you can change the way everything is done. You can make all Irkens be raised by other Irkens, you can destroy the class discrimination!" She lowered her voice to a purr in order to make the last statement, hoping his old hatred would sway him. "You can do away with rank by height... No more Soldiers... Think about it!"  
Jendai pulled away from her. "How did you... why would you...?" he stuttered, words failing him. His mind was still rocked by what he was hearing.   
Her gaze dropped. "It was the Coalition's idea, 'Dai," she began. "I only volunteered you and I because I wanted things to change. The plan was to create a serum that could increase Irken growth at a rapid pace and use it to our advantage. We were then going to bring the one chosen out into the open, making up some story about them being away on some special assignment, and they were to be the single Tallest. Once in power, they could then change everything to the Coalition's specifications. After that, the serum formula was to be destroyed." She looked away once again. "And so, I created the serum with the help of other Students within the Coalition. But there were some catches. First of all, we had no idea whether or not there were harmful side effects to this serum. And secondly, when we tested this serum, we found it would only mix with a certain type of blood. All other types we tried were..." Leeri shuddered. "the serum destroyed them. I have no idea why. Something in it reacted badly with most blood types. So, we had to find the correct type... and... there was no one in the Coalition that fit that requirement... We were forced to obtain DNA readouts of everyone we knew from Hatcheries until we found a match... "  
"And picked me?" Jendai snapped. He was feeling shocked, angry and betrayed. Leeri, his beautiful, passionate, gentle Leeri, was a member of the rebellious and infamous Coalition? It had been disbanded several years before he was born, but some members had apparently survived to spread their word and infect the rest of Irk. "How could you do this to me, Leeri?" he asked, his anger starting to erupt. "You knew about all I went through! You knew about Kas!" He glared at her, standing while showing his teeth in a raging grimace. "He was my friend! My BEST friend! Even if I agreed with what the Coalition wants, I can't go up against him!" His form towered over her.  
"You don't think I thought about that?" she shouted. "I thought about it for a year, Jendai! Every night I came home and watched you sleep, thinking about what this would do to you! I didn't want to! But I had to!"  
"You 'had to'?" he quoted in disbelief. "No, Leeri, you didn't 'have to'! You could have left me alone! You knew I was happy being normal! I liked the way things were! You knew how I would react!" He spun, facing the door. "I can't even look at you now, do you know that? Or are you going to ignore it like you ignored my feelings?"  
Now it was her turn to scream again. "I wanted to tell you everything, you stupid beast!" she raged right back. "I wanted to ask you and to help you through it! But the Coalition swears its members to secrecy!"   
"So, the Coalition is more important to you than I am?"   
Leeri said nothing. Jendai growled, beginning to pace the room. "Does Min know?" he snapped at her. There was nothing familiar about his movements. Lacking his usual gawkiness, he moved with a strange, livid elegance about the small laboratory. It was as if his body had just been waiting to grow to his current height all his life.   
"No," Leeri murmured miserably. "He's at Kaml's place."  
"You sent him away?" he yelled. Leeri cringed. Jendai rarely raised his voice. "You sent MY student away to keep your precious Coalition safe?" When she failed to answer, he shook his head, fighting to keep an even tone. "He's eight years old, Leeri! There is no way he'd give up a secret told to him! Who was he going to tell? Me?" He feigned a mocking tone. "Oh I think I already noticed!"  
"Stop it Jendai!" Leeri yelled in response. "What's done is done! I'm so sorry you hate me now, but there's nothing I can do to change what happened! I don't have the ability to change time! There's nothing you can do now so you might as well just get used to it!"  
He suddenly, viciously, lashed out, striking the wall with a powerful fist. It left an indentation-so much like the one now engraved in his arm-in the wall. Leeri jumped, inching backwards. It was easy to forget that this passive mechanic had the ability to fight better than some Soldiers could when he felt the need to defend himself. He was so skinny. Although, when he was angry, the muscles stood out as if they had always been visible. It was when he raged that Leeri found him the most handsome, the most attractive. Her pulse raced. Shirtless and angry, she could barely restrain herself. Jendai wasn't thin, under his clothing, he was lean, olive-green skin smooth over hard muscles and rough over the many scars he bore. His torso narrowed almost triangularly into slender hips that were almost always hidden by the baggy mechanic pants. Now that they had shortened, the strength in his legs was revealed, showing all that he could stand his ground in fights. His newfound height only magnified the power and male good looks the Student had been given. Leeri swallowed her urges, trying to keep on task.  
Jendai's angry, almost foreign eyes stared at her in loathing before turning soft and wet. Standing was suddenly an effort. He sank down onto the floor, trembling, weak and weeping silently. He pulled his knees up to his chest, rocking slowly back and forth as sobs wracked his now-fragile mass. The words "how could you?" and "I loved you," repeated over and over again in a dreadful, heartsick chant. Leeri desperately wanted to go and bring comfort to him, but the memory of his outburst and the hate that had blazed in his usually gentle eyes deterred her. She stayed with him though, trying to wait out the storm of confusion. He showed no signs of relenting.   
"Warning!" the computer suddenly said. Red lights flashed as alarms blared. "Warning! Security breach!"  
Leeri leapt up. Her mind went into overdrive, pushing all thoughts of love away. She'd known this was coming for a long time now. "Computer! Seal off laboratory! Emergency mode!" she yelled, heading for where she kept the serum's ingredients. There was the sound of the thick doors shutting and locking. Lazer beams crisscrossed the door, sealing them inside. A blaster appeared in Leeri's hands. "Computer! Security monitor screen!" A screen came up, showing her angles of her apartment. Soldiers had swarmed in, and were now ransacking the place. She cursed. "How did they find out?" she fumed-then stopped. An Elite Guard came into view, barking orders at all the Soldiers. He turned, scanning the room, his blue-green eyes raging. "Sen..." she murmured. No other Soldier had those wrong eyes. "Traitor!" Setting her jaw, she fired on the vials and other various bits of equipment. "Anything for Irk," she murmured, watching smoke rise from the remains of her brilliance. She whirled around, thinking aloud. "They want the serum... no. They want... me..." Her eyes fell on the huddled form in the corner. "They want him. They want Jendai."  
At the sound of his name, he looked up at her, his blue eyes wide with fear. "What's going on?" he asked softly. "Who's out there?"  
"Soldiers," she grunted.  
His ragged clothing rustled as he stood. "Why?"  
"Sen lied. He used me to get to the Coalition and betray them. The fools want to take you, Jendai. They want to take you because of what you are..." she said, toying with her blaster. "I thought they wanted the serum... but it's more obvious just to take you."  
"Why not you?" he asked. His antennae were slicked back in fear. "You said you could make more."  
"Good point..." She glowered as the sound of gunfire blazed over the doors. She cursed. "If they can get through that door, all they have to do is shoot through the beams. But, they can't get at us."  
"They could just cut the main power to the apartment and save themselves the trouble," Jendai snapped. "And you can bet they will."  
Leeri whirled to face him, face blazing. "Fine then, Mr. Optimistic! You can stay here and die, but I'm not going down without a fight!" She fired a blast for emphasis. They glared at each other for a long while, listening to the sounds of lazers against the door. Jendai moaned suddenly, his long legs giving way. He caught himself on a chair, barely managing to pull himself into it. Leeri got to his side quickly, forgetting her rage in the insistent need to care for her lover. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
"Weak," he muttered. "Dizzy."  
She cast about for something, then darted to a table. She grabbed an orange jar and a syringe before coming back. "Here," she began, filling the needle. "This'll help." The needle slid into the now obvious indent in his skin, allowing the orange liquid to be injected. Jendai's eyes fell on her as she withdrew it. Before Leeri could put the syringe away, he grabbed her shoulder. "If I'm going to die here, Leeri Olon," he said quietly. The syringe fell to the floor with a sharp clink. "I want your honest apology. I want you to apologize for what you've done to me, and what is going to happen to me. I want you to tell me you're sorry."  
"Oh, 'Dai..." she murmured, grabbing his hand. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want things to happen this way! I thought everything would be all right! I never thought they'd come... I never thought any of his was ever going to happen."  
"One more thing," he said, closing his eyes as if in pain. "I want you to say it."  
"It?"  
"Say you love me."  
Instead, she kissed him, climbing into his lap to do so. It wasn't the kiss it had been before, more of a friendly one rather than the fervent, wildly in love gesture. He broke the contact first. "I love you, 'Dai, I always have." She leaned into him. Her fingers traced over the scars on his chest she knew she'd never see again. Despite himself, the mechanic purred in response. "I never wanted this to happen. I thought once you were all tall everything would be fine... but..."   
He continued their talk as the firing continued. The door had to be wearing thin by now. "I doubt I'll ever fully forgive you for this Leeri... but I love you too," he muttered, stroking her antennae with his other hand. "I don't hate you... that much."  
"I hope I'll see you when we're dead."  
"Me too."  
They stayed there, holding each other, until the power cut out, the doors blew open and the Soldiers swarmed in to take their prisoners. 


	4. Four

Okay, for this chapter, Purple will be called Kas or Kasden because that's how Jendai always knew him and that's how he's going to always think of him. Okay? Onward!   
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
"You lost yourself, in your search to find  
something else to hide behind.  
The fearful always preyed upon your confidence  
Didn't they see the consequence?  
They pushed you around.  
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones..."  
-Lifehouse, "Simon."  
  
"Where's my bees?" a high-pitched voice interrupted. GIR strode into the room, ignoring the fact it had just walked in on its master and Jendai's conversation. "I want my bees!" It stopped, distracted by the flash of lights hitting Jendai's gin bottle as the tall Irken took a long drink. "Pretty colors, big master!" GIR squealed, leaping onto Jendai and proceeding to purr with happiness. "Do it again, big master!"  
This brought a slight smile to the weary face. GIR purred louder, wrapping its arms around Jendai's thin waist. "Sure, GIR," he said quietly. "Watch or you won't see the colors." This got the robot's attention. It looked up instantly, azure eyes wide with interest. Jendai lifted the bottle, being sure to let it flash for a few moments in the light, and took another gulp. The effect made GIR shriek in pleasure before settling down into a purr again, curling into a ball on the blue-eye's lap. "This is a great piece of robot personality you've got here, Zim," Jendai said, his mechanic's eye appraising GIR the whole while. "Maybe it doesn't obey all the time, but its character's something AI-Programmer Students have been trying to work towards for the longest time..."  
"Yes, it's an advanced model designed especially for me," Zim answered, beaming. He took a good look at the little robot curled, purring, in Jendai's lap. A moronic smile was pasted to its face, giving GIR an air of absolute contentment as it was patted gently by the tall Irken's hands. "Although sometimes I wonder."  
GIR jumped up suddenly. "I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a while, kay?" Without waiting for permission, it proceeded to roll in a circle on the cold floor. After a few moments, it jumped up, shouting, "Leprechauns!" and ran out the door.   
"That's advanced...?" Jendai wondered aloud.  
"The Tallest told me so, yes," Zim replied. He paused at the strange look in the tall Irken's eyes. "Why do you cringe every time someone mentions them?" When Jendai's antennae drooped, he went on bluntly. "They come into this as well, do they not?"  
"Yes... They do..."   
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Get out," a Soldier's voice snapped as others pushed him from behind. He could hear them muscling Leeri and several other Students Jendai didn't recognize along as well. Everyone was cuffed at the hands and ankles, while their back pods had been disabled with a chip implanted inside. The prisoner transport had taken them directly to the outskirts of the city, about as far away from everything he remembered as they could. It was dark out now, Irk's three moons lighting up the sky almost as well as the sun was able to. Millions of stars still glowed beyond the reach of the three crescents. He turned his face briefly upwards, enjoying the cool caress of the night breeze as it rustled gently through his antennae. Nearly all Irkens were almost innately in love with the stars after the hundreds of years of space exploration behind them. The Soldier behind him saw his slight pause. He shoved the tall Irken roughly from behind. Jendai stumbled forward, nearly falling on his face. It didn't seem to matter to these idiots that he now towered over them. He was a part-however unwilling-of a movement against the Soldiers' commanders, and therefore the enemy.  
And enemies must be destroyed.  
They continued to bully him and his fellow Students along. He stood out horribly among the other Irkens. His Class looked up at him, as if wanting him to break free of the bonds, liberate them and lead them onto glory against the Soldiers. Jendai looked away. He wasn't a leader and never would be. The students were marched through the lazer secured doors of the penitentiary and into a large elevator. Jendai noticed, with a strange detachment, how heavy the security was. Another thing that struck him was the number of Student prisoners locked away within the heavily bolted and lazer-locked doors. Leeri noticed it too, looking up at him with sorrow in her eyes. The elevator stopped, allowing the Soldiers and the other Students to disembark. They took Leeri with them. She barely had time to glance back at him before the doors closed and Jendai was on his way up once more.  
He felt numb. Everything was happening so fast. Leeri was gone forever... everyone was gone. He felt alone. His antennae drooped. This did not go unnoticed by the Soldiers still left guarding him. They snickered. "Afraid, O Tallest?" one sneered. "Does the thought of life imprisonment and possible death frighten you?"  
"Maybe he needs his little Student weakling friends around to help," another suggested mockingly. "I bet if all of them got together, they'd actually have a spine."  
The insults... the mocking... the hatred... He remembered it all too clearly. Jendai took a deep breath, trying to maintain his calm. He tried not to let his head hang, tried to keep a straight face. This brought a few laughs from the Soldiers, but more glares.  
"Stupid, uppity Students!" someone growled, smacking Jendai in the leg with the barrel of his blaster. The tall Student winced, but stayed standing. Only his wrist cuffs prevented him from massaging the soon-to-be bruise. "Too important for their own good."  
"If it were up to me," the one who'd called Jendai "Tallest" said. "I'd kill every last one of them. Starting with this one." He aimed his blaster at Jendai's forehead, mimicking firing a blast. "He's a threat anyway, if his height ever got out. Why not just, POW! one through the head?"  
"You'll get your pleasure with the short ones," his buddy answered. "Guard Sen said the Tallest want this one alive for questioning." He examined Jendai's frame and his ragged clothing skeptically. "Looks starved. Doubt he'll last a week."  
The others agreed, chuckling to themselves.   
Finally, the elevator stopped, letting them out. Jendai was hauled forward again, this time with much more force. Whenever he stumbled on the rough floor of the dark cell row, they hit him with their weapons. He wanted to lash out, to slice their ugly Soldier faces open with his robotic legs. But he was at their mercy. The walk was filled with the cries of those imprisoned within the metallic walls. They called to Jendai, cheered and even screamed at him. It was nearly impossible to ignore them. Eventually, they reached an empty cell at the end of the row. One of the Soldiers opened the door with the correct pattern of codes and timing of DNA scans. The doors were double-layered, and crisscrossed with more lazers than he could count. His captors shoved him in, sniggering as his freakishly long legs gave out, sending him reeling to the hard ground. One moved forward, roughly ripping the wrist and ankle cuffs off, but not removing the chip from his back pod. "Welcome to your quarters, Tallest," they snickered. The doors slammed shut, lazers turning themselves on, locking him in.  
He didn't rise from his sprawled position on the floor. It was easier to see everything from this height anyway. His cell had a single, lazer barred window, which shed a pale shaft of moonlight into the darkness. A small bench was pushed up beneath it. In the corner, a curtain hid what was probably all he got for a bathroom. Without a sound, he dragged himself up on the bench, folding his legs under him to enable himself to sit. So, this misery was to be his life now? This was what he would be forced to look at, day after long, boring day? He wondered if it was possible to burn to death with one of the lazers.   
He wondered what Leeri was doing. Wondered where she was. Wondered if she was thinking the same thoughts as he. It was easier to accept the fact that he may never see her again than he'd thought. The anger he still harbored towards her probably kept him from feeling too much. What was harder was the prospect of never seeing Min, Kaml or Lidge again. They would probably never know what had happened to him. And poor Min... little Min... with his innocent gray eyes... what would happen to him?  
Jendai leaned against the slimy wall, feeling fatigue creep up on him. It was probably the best thing now... sleep. He closed his eyes, giving into his weariness.  
  
Sunlight. Bright, glaring sunlight. Sunlight and the sound of the doors opening. Jendai woke up instantly, slowly uncurling from his cramped position. A Soldier marched in, her purple uniform spotless. She thrust something in a bowl onto the floor and glared at him. Probably envious of his height, no matter that it was wrongly achieved. Tall was tall. "You have one hour to make yourself spotless, Student filth," she snapped at him. "You have the honor of an audience with the Almighty Tallest today." Her antennae twitched inwards. "Hurry it up!" With that, she left, the doors locking behind her.  
Spotless? He glowered. "Well, well, well," he muttered sarcastically. "Better get myself cleaned up for the great Tallest." The shirt was the first thing to go. Even after the night imprisoned and the rough handling, he was relatively clean. His pants could stay, but everything else was far too ragged for his audience. The discarded garments and boots were shoved under the bench for whatever use he could get out of them later. Naked to the waist, the muscles of his olive-green chest exposed, he stretched nimbly in the patch of sunlight. The stone felt cool and good against his bare feet. Whatever Leeri had given him had improved his overall feeling immensely. He just hoped it would last a while. One couldn't afford to be sluggish or weak around Soldiers.  
Bored now, he decided to go over all the necessary parts to a light battle-cruiser engine system in his head. It took him a matter of seconds. Scratch one idea... To pass the time, he decided he'd work some on his punches, to get his new body used to his fighting. Picking a position in the sun patch, he lined up with his shadow and threw a few swift punches. His other arm blocked the ones his shadow threw. Soon, he was able to picture his shadow as one of the Soldiers he hated so much, and the fists flew stronger, faster and became more frenzied, a tight smile drawn over pale lips.   
The doors opened again, breaking him out of his fighting trance. He turned to see his escort entering, weapons drawn. Half of them approached him, holding out the wrist and ankle cuffs. Jendai stood perfectly still, not giving them the satisfaction of a struggle. Soldiers had apparently changed. They liked it when you fought back now, all the more pleasure to win and continue the torture. Once they had him cuffed, they marched him out of his cell and into the elevator. This ride passed without incident. Next, he was escorted out to the penitentiary transport that would be his ride into the heart of the city. He was roughly shoved in back as two Soldiers leapt in behind him. There was a jerk, as the transport started moving towards their destination.  
Jendai had never been to the Tallest Complex, only seen pictures of it, or seen the tall spire from one of the windows in his apartment. He had never wanted to go anywhere near that place. And yet, in a cruel fate twist, he was headed there for a confrontation he'd never dreamed of having. Most Irkens always hoped deep in their mind to one day meet with the leaders of their race, the ones that dreamed of universal conquest. All except him. Albeit the fact that he was just their height now. Tall ones got you in trouble. They beat you to a green, bloody pulp. That was how it had always been to the mechanic. He hated himself as he was now. He wanted rip his legs off and return himself to how small he had been. But what would that do? It couldn't return things to how they had been. Everything was different now. Nothing had been left as it was; nothing was left untouched, left sacred. His head hung between his knees of its own accord. The transport hit a few air pockets that the patrols had missed, bouncing the Irkens inside around. The Soldiers cursed, blaming the bad airspace on Jendai. One smacked the side of his face with his blaster, opening a cut. The mechanic merely twitched an eye in response. They growled. The same one hit him again, this time across his back. He fell to the floor of the transport, all the memories of previous beatings and new information coming back to him. He kept still, letting the blows come. Eventually, they stopped, only to drag him out of the transport.  
They had pulled into a docking bay on one of the upper levels of the complex. Fifty or so Elite Guards, one with blue-green eyes, heavily guarded it. "Ah," said the one with the mutant eyes. "So, we finally meet one another, Student." He marched up to Jendai, looking up at his bruised and bloodied face and torso. A look of disgust filled his aqua-colored eyes. "Tried to kill yourself, I see," Sen said. "Well, there'll be none of that here. You have the honor of meeting with the leaders of our Empire." Sen's robotic legs emerged, lifting him up to Jendai's height. His face came within an antenna's width of the mechanic's. "And they do so despise blood on their carpet." He motioned to the other Guards, returning to a standing position. "Take him to the Tallest."  
The Guards moved around him in formation, shoving him forward. Jendai tried not to limp as he walked. There was a thick carpet on the floor that almost made walking a pleasure. He tried to take his mind off what was about to happen by studying the layout of the complex. High, vaulted ceilings made you feel small while, emphasizing the heights of others. Holo-photos of pervious leaders were towards the ceiling, generated by floating disks. Jendai felt a sudden longing to take one of the things apart to study. His fingers twitched with the feeling, which he curbed. All décor was done in shades of red and purple, as was the custom for the complex. He could barely imagine living in such a grand place-and this was only the hallway. He wondered where the transports were kept... This thought kept him occupied for the rest of the march. The sound of orders barking out snapped him from his reverie. His eyes widened at the sight of the huge doors that had seemingly materialized before him. How big did these architects think the Tallest got? In fact, the tallest leader of Irk in history had only stood six and a half feet. The doors swung open, revealing the room inside.   
Half was red, half was purple. There were two of everything; two staircases leading up to two platforms. Windows flooded the large-scale room with light, making everything stand out starkly against the walls. Smaller Irkens, most likely scholars to record the events, ran around, standing at intervals on the staircase and behind the platform's dual podiums with their datapads in hand.   
Jendai swallowed heavily before he was pushed onto a small circular platform. Bars came up around the edge, penning him in. The Guards surrounded him, Sen in front. They stood there for a very long time, waiting for the leaders to arrive. Jendai's antennae twitched nervously at every sound, hoping each wasn't the one he was waiting for. The windows suddenly vanished, sending the room into darkness. A light flicked on directly above Sen, focused beam not allowing any stray patches flicker across to illuminate anything else. Some Irken lights were built to illumine only what the Irken who turned them on wished to, it was a fairly recent development that was usually reserved for tall ones. The Elite Guard captain knelt, his antennae falling flat in submission. His forehead brushed the ground, neck stretched out so that if he displeased his superiors, he could be decapitated by a swift flick of a robotic leg. High above them, shrouded in shadows, there was a muted whispering and a hissed order to be quiet. Another grumble came before the first words were directed at them. "Yes, what is it this time Sen?" came a familiar, bored voice. In the dark, Jendai looked up towards the voice's source. Two dark silhouettes were standing on the platform; the only thing different about them was the color of their glowing eyes. He knew that smooth, polished voice. Knew that calm, too-proud stance. Knew those eyes. But the cool aloofness in them stunned him. He kept quiet, shrinking back against the bars and forcing himself to look unafraid, to take deep, calming breaths.  
It was almost too much for his tattered mind to bear, seeing those eyes again.   
"My Lords Tallest," Sen said, his voice somewhat muffled by both his cloth mask and the floor he was speaking into. "I bring to you the object that the Coalition created to overthrow you and gain control of the Empire."  
Faintly, Jendai heard a rougher, deeper voice whisper from above, "What Empire? We only own about six planets so far." He could see the silhouette with the red eyes turn to the other as it spoke. The other glared at it before speaking to Sen. "Show it to us, and make it fast, we have a card game to get back to."  
"And I was winning!" cheered the red-eyed Tallest.  
Sen seemed to bow lower as the light faded from around him and began to illuminate Jendai. There were gasps from the scholars gathered around the stairs, murmurs of surprise flickering through them. "This, my Tallest," Sen continued from the darkness. "is the Student Irken whom the growth serum was used upon. As you can easily see, he is horribly overgrown for a worthless piece of Student refuse."   
The platform Jendai stood on rose into the air, the light following him along. Soon, he was level with the top of the platform the Tallest stood upon. He looked the silhouette on his right straight in its eyes, not even bothering with the other. The purple-eyed Tallest's gaze softened as he recognized Jendai. His look soon changed as he scowled down at Sen.  
"You forget, Guard," the purple-eyed Tallest snapped defensively. "that a worthless piece of Student refuse is your superior!"  
"I am sorry, my Tallest," Sen gushed hurriedly. He began to try and improve his failing position in the only way a Soldier was taught to. "I will not let it happen again. We guards forget easily that you are a Student. You are such a perfect leader that it is easy for one to do so."  
Purple eyes narrowed. "You had better not let it happen again, because-"  
"Because he doesn't like you," the red-eyed one added for what he thought was help. "And I don't either. Anyway, why do we have to worry? The Coalition's all squashed now. Let's just execute this clown and get the whole thing over with so we can get back to our card game."  
Jendai felt his blood run cold. His eyes pleadingly fell on the purple-eyed Tallest, trying to find some way he could live through this mess. He nodded slightly, the barest flick of an antenna visible. "I'm going to keep this one here for a while, Red," the purple-eyed one said. "You can go back to the card game or your lazers, but I have a few things I need to clear up with this... trash."  
There was a few second of silence. Red muttered to himself before replying. "Yeah, sure, whatever," he said. The Soldier Tallest left to attend to business, most of the Guards following him.   
"Go on, the rest of you, out," the remaining Tallest ordered. "I doubt he's a threat to me."   
Boots scurried against the floor as the remaining Guard and the scholars departed. The light above Jendai vanished, rendering the room black. He felt the platform he stood on sink down to the floor, bars vanishing. It locked back in place as the windows reappeared where they once had been. Light flooded the room, momentarily blinding the mechanic. When his vision cleared, Jendai stood face to face with the purple-eyed Almighty Tallest. The co-leader of the Empire cocked his head as he noticed the bruises and cuts smeared across Jendai's olive-green face. "They beat you?" he asked, a long, claw-like finger reaching out to poke at one of the cuts.   
"Didn't you feel it?" Jendai replied curtly. "Or did that change too?"  
The purple eyes winced. "Good one," he said. His antennae twitched backwards as the Tallest's head shook. "No, I felt it. I just hoped you fell down the stairs or something."  
"Hah, you wish," the blue-eye retorted. "Those idiots who brought me here blamed the bad air patrol on me and decided to take out their frustration." He studied the Irken before him. "What do you want me to call you now? Better yet, what am I supposed to? Tallest? Almighty Purple? What?"  
"Please, 'Dai," he spread his arms in a plaintive gesture. "No formalities. It's just us again. No Guards, no none else."   
Jendai folded his arms as best he could over his bare chest, frowning slightly. "You don't look like Kas anymore," he said teasingly, his look lightening. "I can hardly recognize you with the dress."  
Kasden blushed. "It wasn't my idea," he protested. "It's a Tallest thing, I guess. I seriously miss pants." He fingered the body armor that was the usual dress for a Tallest. "It's weird." His eye caught what remained of his friend's pants. "What's with the cutoff look?"  
"I grew," Jendai sighed, spreading his arms. "You heard about the Coalition. This is what they did." He felt weak as he slowly tried to explain. "They invented a growth serum that would only-"  
"Hold on," Kasden stopped him. "You look like you're about to faint." He held out an arm for Jendai to lean on. "You can explain everything in my quarters. No one except Red, me and a few Guards are allowed in there unless I say so."  
"That's one good thing about power," Jendai mumbled as he leaned heavily on his old friend. "Nobody bothers you."  
This earned him a laugh. The two made their slow way out of the audience chamber, earning quick, confused glances from the Guards and Students. The complex's huge scale slowly began to overwhelm Jendai, despite his guide's absolute calm. Once or twice, he stumbled on the thick carpet, his ankle cuffs tripping him up. On these instances, he nearly pulled Kasden down with him. Various Irkens rushed over to help up their leader, ignoring the sprawled blue-eye on the ground. Kasden had to help him up before shouting at the Guards or Students. After many elevator rides and long treks through huge hallways that made even Kasden look small, the duo arrived on the top level of the complex. The thick carpet parted, half of it turning purple, the other half turning red. Both sides led to huge doors, which Jendai guessed led to the different living quarters of the Tallest. Kasden helped him through the purple door. Once inside, the ex-scholar leaned against the door, chuckling and panting to himself. "I forgot how strong you are, 'Dai," he laughed. "You almost pulled my arm out of its socket!"   
Jendai didn't answer. The scale of Kasden's new home dazed him. The wall before him was one long window, showing the skyline of the southern part of the city. High quality armchairs and tables sat in a sunken semi-circle that was opened towards the view. Lights were placed at the best intervals to help the occupant see best. To his left was a huge wall of books and piles of disks, evidence of Kasden's scholar learning. On his right, stairs led up to the upper levels of the quarters. Rich, luxurious rugs covered most of a purple-swirled marble tiled floor. Everything was elegant and perfectly suited for a Tallest. It was stunning. He stumbled over to the window, pressing his face against the glass-like substance. Distant hills were dark against the light, mid-morning sky. Far below him, buildings shimmered like heat waves, transports weaving through them on their routes. "Beautiful isn't it?" Kasden asked from behind him. Jendai turned his head to see the Tallest sinking into an armchair. He sighed, leaning his chin on his wrist guard, his fingers gently drumming against his chin. "You should see it at night." His free hand gestured at the empty seat opposite him. "Sit down, 'Dai," he commanded. "You look like you're about to faint."  
He did so, sinking gratefully into the soft chair. "Um, Kas?" Jendai asked, holding out his cuffed wrists and ankles. "Help?"  
"Huh? Oh sure thing." A leg slid out of Kasden's back pod as he sat up, unlocking both cuffs with relative ease. Jendai sighed, rubbing his sore wrists. "I thought you guys didn't get to keep those," the mechanic muttered.   
"I'm a Tallest. I get whatever I want." He waved his hand, signaling in the air. A bottle of some liquor was handed to him by a robotic arm, along with two lavishly sculpted crystal glasses. "Amrinae," he grinned. "Real rare nowdays." He nodded to the arm, which gave a glass to each Irken before pouring the green-tinted beverage into each. It retracted into the ceiling, leaving them alone. Jendai took a small sip, savoring the flavor. "Tastes familiar, doesn't it?" Kasden chuckled.   
"That time behind the garbage unit?" Jendai asked suspiciously. The two of them had gotten into a lot of trouble for their quest to taste alcohol before they came of age.   
Kasden shook his head. "That was ahki," he grinned.  
"Must be where I got my taste for the stuff..." the mechanic mused. "When was this? My memory fails me."  
"I can't believe you don't remember this one!" Kasden laughed. "Here, I'll give you a hint. Last day in the Nursery..."  
Jendai groaned. "Oh sweet Irk," he mumbled, taking another sip. "Now I remember... But I wish I didn't."   
"This is great, 'Dai," his friend grinned. "I thought I'd never hear from you again, and now you end up tall like me." Kasden raised his glass triumphantly. "By the First Tallest, you don't know how great it is to see you again."  
He was quiet for a moment. "It's good to see you too, Kas. But, you act different now. More not Student-ish... more... I dunno... More like a Soldier."  
The Tallest choked on his drink. Now it was his turn to look saddened. "You're right, Jendai. I'm not sure what happened when I became a Tallest..." he muttered, tracing the design of the glass. "Everyone was bowing and waiting on me hand and foot... It was strange. Took forever to get used to it, and by the time I had," he paused, frowning. "I wasn't Kasden Aman anymore. I was Purple. Things changed so fast... Once you become adapted to living one way, it's hard to go back to who you were... I suppose. Not to mention Red's idiocy rubs off on you easier than you think."  
"I can understand that," Jendai chuckled with a real grin.  
They drank in silence for a while, savoring both flavors and old memories of the times before things changed. Bars of sunlight moved slowly across the floor. Finally, Kasden set aside his empty glass, stretching. "All right, 'Dai," he said slowly. "How in the name of the First Tallest did this happen to you?"  
Jendai took a long breath, downed the last of his drink, then told his story. Throughout the retelling, Kasden's eyes and antennae displayed more emotions than Jendai had ever seen depicted on a Tallest. He himself tried to keep a straight, bland expression the whole while. Kasden made an impressed sound once he'd finished. "That's amazing..." he muttered. His long, claw-like fingers drummed on the edges of his chair. They still had that strange, delicate shape to them. "You told me about Leeri while you and I were still... on speaking terms." He stopped again, still trying to let Jendai's story sink all the way in. "I can't believe... by the First Tallest... she actually-it was her? Are you sure?"  
"Yes... I am. She admitted it to my face, Kas..." Jendai moaned, burying his face in his hands. He held back a few tears and got himself under control again. When he looked back up to answer any more questions, Kasden had moved over to perch on the armrest of his chair and was leaning over him with sympathy. "It's just me, Jendai," he said. "Used to be your best friend. I wouldn't care if you started running around flapping your arms and screaming like you were insane. So, I certainly wouldn't mind a few tears."  
The mechanic shook his head. "I've been doing that far too much these days," he muttered. "What we should be doing is figuring out how you're going to cover me up."  
"Mmm..." Kasden murmured distractedly. "Yes... how am I going to get you out of this mess?" Again, his fingers drummed an old rhythm against the chair. "Maybe I could arrange for-"  
The doors opened, interrupting their conversation. "Okay, how do you expect me to play a card game when there is NO one around to play AGAINST?" came an irritated shout. The two turned in the voice's direction, startled. Almighty Tallest Red stormed into the room. He radiated a completely different feel into the other Tallest's chamber than the one his co-leader did. This was a true Soldier, one that was written about in history texts, one that had risen to fame very quickly. A powerfully built Irken who moved with an easy, oiled grace that showed his prowess simply in his strides. You only had to take a single look to know how dangerous this Tallest could be. Red angrily approached them, folding his arms over his chest. "I have been waiting patiently to finish this game for two hours, an evil paperclip staring me in the face the whole time, and you've been here sitting and drinking with the prisoner!"   
Jendai's antennae drooped.   
"We're just finishing here," Kasden said quickly, covering for the both of them. "Bring in some of your guards with their lazers and he can go."  
Moments later, Jendai was once again cuffed and being hauled out the door. The Guards bowed deeply to their Tallests before leaving. Kasden stopped them to have a brief parting word with his friend. "Listen to me," he hissed. "One way or another, I'll get you out of this. I swear by the First Tallest."  
"If you say so." He allowed the Guard to lead him away by the wrist cuffs. "By the way, Kas," Jendai called over his shoulder. "what was this first Tallest you're so fond of swearing by called anyway?"  
Kasden looked away. "Blue," he muttered, a thoughtful look on his face. He had an idea. "His eyes were blue."   
The doors closed behind the prisoner.  
  
  
Jendai is mine. I only own the name Kasden Aman, not the character. Oh, Sen's mine, but I don't care if you use him. I don't like him. 


	5. Five

Yes. I know what happened. It's not going to stop me from writing. I hope my writing brings a bit of joy to everyone in this dark time... even though it's dark in itself. I own nothing except Jendai and everything else I've already said is mine.   
  
  
Chapter 5  
"One steals the life like a thief in the night  
So look to the sky  
He hold the keys for your life and mine  
So Is this the end for us my friend?"  
-Creed, "Is This The End?"  
  
"Zim, you mouth is hanging open," Jendai chuckled.   
The Invader abruptly shut it. He was still mesmerized by the thought of his superior having another side, a life beyond ruling the Empire. Unable to comment on this, he quickly thought up something else to say. "You knew the Tallest?" he asked.  
"Very, very well," the blue-eye replied. He set the empty bottle down. Human alcohol was weaker than the stuff on Irk, rendering Jendai able to drink more than the usual human amount without feeling the effects. "Mind if I use up some of the space?" he asked, indicating the empty bedspace between them. "I'm tired."  
Zim moved back, allowing Jendai to stretch out. He groaned, massaging the useless muscles in his legs as if they hurt. Suddenly disgusted, he pounded a fist against the dead limb. Nothing happened. No reaction. Nothing. "It's hard for me to live like this Zim," he said, a confiding tone in his voice. "I used to be able to out-fight a Soldier... Now I'm a helpless blob surviving on a miserable space rock no one on Irk's even heard of."  
"I'm honestly surprised the Tallest didn't kill you," Zim told him. "I suppose this... Kas got a few words in on your favor after all."  
"I'm just lucky Red's a dumb ass who listens to him," was the flat response. "Otherwise, I'd be dead like Leeri and not having this conversation with you right now."  
It took a few moments for Zim to grasp this. "You mean...?"  
"They executed Leeri for treason against the Empire."  
"Oh sweet Mother of Irk..."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Shadows played over the beaten face, turning it into a frightening mask of mingled fear, pain and defiance. Blue eyes were dark with emotions, black bruises ringing them. The beatings had become more frequent since his visit to the Tallest Complex. It was as if the Soldiers resented his going there. They came back at least twice a day, reopening the cuts and re-breaking his shattered bones. He'd fought back almost every time, not letting himself give in to desperation and despair. Each time, he came away with worse injuries than before. The wrist of his stronger arm felt sprained, and he was sure at least two of his fingers were broken. If he ever worked again, it would be difficult if he couldn't get his fingers set properly.  
Jendai sighed, leaning against the wall. He'd used the scraps from his boots to attempt in holding the shattered finger bones in place. If he...  
"Oh Irk, it doesn't matter!" he shouted suddenly. In a burst of anger, he slammed his hands against the wall, crying out in the sudden pain that raced through his limbs. The pain only made his rage worse. He cursed everything in every way he knew how. The rage left him weak and shaky, but no better than it had found him. "It doesn't matter," Jendai mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest. His head buried itself between his them. "Nothing matters... Kas isn't going to get me out... I would have heard from him by now... It's been four days..." He bit back tears, ignoring the sting from the cuts as a few slipped past his defenses. "I'm doomed..."  
He probably would have stayed there, a crumpled mess on the floor, if noises from outside the window didn't startle him. There was no way to keep the elements out... if Irk had anything other than wind. Surprised, he moved to the bench, looking out over the prison yard. A huge crowd of Irkens stood in a mob around a platform. Large screens magnified the platform so all could see. Jendai blinked in confusion. "What the...?" he murmured, leaning as close to the lazer bars as he dared. The crowd was chanting something he couldn't quite make out. His antennae tilted backwards nervously. The feeling of dread intensified as a group of Irkens were marched onto the platform, cuffed and severely beaten. Their tattered uniforms marked them as Students... "Leeri..." he moaned, recognizing the smallest of their ranks by her colors. She looked just as badly beaten as he was-if not worse.   
"Prisoners!" one of the Soldiers called, his voice carried over the mass on speakers. "We have here for your entertainment, the lowest of the low!" A sick feeling filled Jendai at those words. What was going to happen to Leeri? And the rest of the Students? What were the Soldiers doing to his Class? "These are the members of the filthy Coalition! These are the feeble-minded worms who decided they would upset the very balance of how things work!" The speaker paused at cheers from fellow Soldiers. Why Soldiers were imprisoned was beyond him. "They have committed the ultimate crime against the all-powerful Irken Empire! They have committed TREASON!"  
A few Student prisoners cheered at this, only to be silenced by blows from the Soldiers guarding them. Anger rose in Jendai, but was quickly quieted by the feeling of dread. The punishment for treason against the Empire or its leaders was death.   
Death...   
"Oh Irk!" he half-moaned, half-sobbed. "Irk, no! Leeri!"  
"The time is now!" the Soldier went on saying, not hearing his piteous cries. Cries wrenched from the bottom a half-broken heart. "The time for them to PAY for what they have done!" Angry sounds rose from the crowd now. "It is time for them to die!"  
A tortured cry tore its way from Jendai's throat, to be answered by one from Leeri. There was no way she could have heard him. The act was purely instinctual. Instincts born from the act of loving another more than you loved your own life, loving so hard and so long, you couldn't think straight after. Leeri's purple-red eyes looked up towards his cell, and for a moment, he imagined they locked with his blue ones. Then a Soldier roughly grabbed her, forcing her forward, breaking their gaze. She cried out as his hands grazed her injuries. The crowd reacted in a surge of angry chants and thrown objects. Jendai was unable to breathe. His hands gripped the window ledge as if the tightness of his grasp alone would be able to save Leeri. He shouldn't be this emotional! He should hate her, should despise her! For all she had done to him, he should laugh at her demise. And yet a part of him, the adamant, Soldier-defying part of him, refused to hate her, and only wanted to love her still. It only wanted to hold her tight, run his tongue through her mouth, taste her lips, feel her antennae around his powerful wrists... It was that part of him that screamed again, and that part of Leeri that answered him.   
The Soldiers lined the rest of the Coalition members up against the far wall, making them face their doom. The barked command was given. As one, the Soldiers drew their blasters. The crowd erupted in anger, and it took all the guards' strength to keep them back. "Leeri!" Jendai cried out, his voice contorted with emotion.   
She started to call his name in response. The crack of blaster fire stopped her.  
Sickened and enraged, Jendai whirled away from the window before he could see the body he knew almost as well as his own crumple. His rage boiled up, rage against whoever ordered this, rage against the world. He pounded the walls, kicked at the door, screamed. He did anything he could to vent his anger. He dared whoever had issued this command to come before him and fight him! Hate simmered at the edge of the rage. In a powerful, violent movement, he picked up the bench and threw it across the cell. The crash and splintering of the bench hitting the floor was most satisfying to his anger.   
The violent emotions drained out of him in a single moment, leaving the mechanic dazed, sickened, and horrified. He sank to the floor, numb. How could she leave him all alone? Alone. He was alone. Leeri. He needed her, needed to love her, needed to feel her. She was gone, why was she gone? He loved her... Loved her! Shaking, he curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth. A soft chant, an old mechanic tune, the very same song he'd sung for Leeri so long ago, issued from half-crazed lips.  
That was how the Almighty Tallest Purple found him a day later.   
The usual entourage of guards was hustled out of the room, ordered to stay out no matter what they heard. Soundlessly, the Tallest entered the cell, looking around disdainfully at the surroundings his friend was forced to live in. He set down the package he carried, not wanting to spoil the surprise... if he could get Jendai to act sane. Gently, he tapped Jendai's cold, clammy shoulder, trying to get his attention. Instead of the reaction he'd thought he'd receive, Jendai reacted almost violently. The mechanic leapt to his feet, blue eyes clouded in hatred. They focused briefly on the Tallest, then snapped away to something distant out the window. He was trembling, every muscle in his beaten mechanic's body twitching. The Tallest cringed at the sight of the wounds inflicted on the olive-green skin. He should have known. He'd felt the blows himself. Why hadn't he ordered no guards...? Again, the hate-filled blue orbs centered on his purple ones. "'Dai!" he almost whimpered, moving back slightly. He was afraid and made no effort to hide it. Jendai was powerful. "What in the name of Irk is wrong with you?"  
"She's dead!" Jendai moaned, his voice a low, growling mockery of its usual tones. "Leeri's dead! They... they killed her!" The tortured expression left his face, only to be replaced by an insane look of anger and hate. "You... You ordered her to die! You're just as bad as they are! Soldiers!" He snarled, clenching his hands into fists. A cry of suffering ripped from his body as he charged, swinging his fists. The Tallest ducked out of the way, suddenly glad he'd made the guards stay out. Their presence would most likely have only made Jendai angrier. Still growling like an animal, Jendai paced the room, circling him. His powerful fists were drawn close to his battered body. A fighter lurked inside the normally amiable mechanic. The utter loathing in his friend's eyes stunned the Tallest, as he imagined the remote look in his he usually adopted stunned Jendai equally. Jendai leapt for him again, swinging his fists at him. One caught him straight under his chin, sending him staggering to the ground.  
He lay still, sprawled on the damp floor for long moments. Cautiously, he opened a purple eye. Jendai stood a few paces off, his fists drawn up protectively. As he slowly climbed to his feet, Jendai backed off, the fight sucked out of him by the memory of his blood brother's pain after his punch. His antennae drooped. "Kas...?" he murmured dazedly. One hand moved to touch the spot under his chin where the Tallest's pain was felt. "Kas. How did you get here...?"  
"I walked in," Kasden mumbled, rubbing the spot where his friend's fist had connected. "Then you went nuts and socked me." He looked at Jendai. "I now understand why Des feared you."  
"I... I thought you were..."  
"You thought I was Red?" the Tallest finished. He looked at the dark room, the pale shaft of moonlight shining on only a bit of the floor. "I suppose in this poor light, I could be mistaken for that genetic accident."   
Jendai's eyes focused on him once more, this time, they were filled with sorrow. "Did... did he order it?" he asked, his voice small and quiet child-like.  
"Did he order what?"  
He looked away. "Leeri's execution," the mechanic mumbled, his fists clenching, then releasing.   
The Tallest sighed audibly. He moved over to the bench and turned it right side up before responding. It was heavier than he'd expected. "Don't hit me for saying this, 'Dai," he began, sitting down heavily. "but... yes." Kasden watched the mechanic pace again, his movements stiff and elegant. Even without any training, Jendai moved like a Tallest, acted like one and at times expected to be obeyed like one. This sparked his idea up again. Yet, it had to wait until Jendai was rational once more.  
"Why...?" Jendai moaned. He was shaking. Kasden stood again, moving over to him. Carefully, he maneuvered the dazed Irken over to the bench, making him sit. "Why, Kas...?" the blue-eye asked again, a few tears forming in his large eyes. "It... it... it was awful..."  
"I made a deal with Red, Jendai," the Tallest said slowly. "If he let you live, I would have to let him execute the Coalition members..." Another sigh. "I know it isn't fair. But, I still consider you my friend."  
"So, I'm worth more to you than innocent lives?"   
The question caught the Tallest off guard. He blinked, trying to decipher the meaning of the statement in his normally quick mind. Before he could say a thing, Jendai waved him off. "I'm sorry, Kas..." he mumbled. "It... it's just a shock still. I loved her so much..." He looked sideways at Kasden. Tears were being pushed away from his eyes. "Thank you..."  
"I brought you some stuff," Kasden said suddenly. He stood, looking around for where he'd deposited the package. Finding it, he moved over to it, scooped it up and returned to his sitting position. Jendai took it from him, suddenly eager to open it. The first thing he pulled out was a handheld medical device. "I figured you could use it after out little meeting," he explained. "You look worse off now. There's extra power cells in there too, in case you use up the first batch." Next, he pulled out a set of tools, almost identical to his own. The mechanic smiled softly. After that came a few holograph capsules, taken from his own apartment. He didn't even need to look at them to know which ones they were.   
The next thing he pulled out rocked him. His reflection stared back at him from a wrist guard adorned with a single blue stripe. Stunned, he pulled out more pieces of the armor, staring at each for a few seconds before setting it aside with the tools, holograph capsules and medical device. Before digging through the rest, he set the box down to better examine the armor and skirt. It fit the shade of his eyes perfectly. "How did you... Why?" he asked, finally looking his friend in the eye.   
"Never in history have there ever been three Almighty Tallest," Kasden murmured. "Two... well, that's rare but... it happens. Three? No way." The purple eyes focused on him. "But tradition was made to be broken." He settled back, almost relaxed. "As for the color... you'd be surprised how many blue-eyed Tallest there's been."  
Jendai picked the package back up. At the bottom were a pair of black gloves, black boots, and the oddest-looking set of pants and a shirt. He pulled out the gloves first, savoring the feel of the material over his fingers. They were amazingly his size. The boots were the same. He eyed the shirt and pants oddly. The pants were mechanic black with blue rings around the legs and a diamond shape across the middle. A darker blue cuff adorned each pant leg, along with a band the waist. Unlike his shredded garments, the pants flared out at the bottom, a style that was becoming increasingly popular among Students. It was the shirt that caught his attention next. All colors of blue were worked into a pattern of overlapping triangles that started where the waistband would be and ended at the collar. "Wow..." he breathed. "This is great, Kas..." Jendai paused to admire his colors once again. "How'd you do this?"  
"I just said I felt like wearing your colors and," the Tallest snapped his fingers. " 'poof!' I get these things." His voice grew serious. "Listen to me, Jendai," he said. "You have two choices here. Either you put on the armor, or you put on the other stuff. One way, you become Tallest, stay on Irk, and live somewhat normally. The other way, you're banished to wherever you can go... forever."   
The other was quiet for a long time. Frustrated, Kasden stood, almost refusing to look at Jendai. "I'm not going to tell you what I think," he said. "But when I return in two days..." Now he looked at him. There was an unusual distress in his violet eyes. "You know what I expect then..."  
He turned to leave. "Kas?" Jendai queried softly. Noticing the slight movement of his friend's head, he went on. "I can't decide something like this by myself. Now that Leeri's gone..." he almost choked on those words. "Please let me talk this over with someone."  
"Who?" the Tallest asked in a clipped tone.  
"My student, Min and my friends, Kaml and Lidge Tikem," he didn't even need to think about it.  
"Fine." Kasden bowed his head as the door slid open. "They'll be here in an hour, 'Dai. I swear it."  
Without even saying goodbye, he departed, murmuring inaudible things to his Guard. Jendai stared at the clothes for a long while, thinking hard. "You also swore you'd get me out of this, Kas..." he muttered to the air. Leaning back against the wall, he sighed. "Let's hope you can keep at least one promise."  
  
One hour later, a dazed Kaml Tikem was shoved through the cell door. The orange-eye's robotic legs emerged; ready to defend their owner. His eyes fell on the slumped form on the bench, widening in horror. "J-J-Jendai?" he stuttered, the robotic legs vanishing. "Oh sweet mother of Irk, tell me that's not you..."  
Jendai spread his arms wide, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry Kaml," he murmured, letting the tenor tones his friends knew break through the sorrow. This seemed to ease the mechanic a bit. "What did the Tallest tell you?" Jendai asked, rising.   
Kaml blinked, craning his neck to see Jendai's face. "That I was supposed to come here with Lidgers and Min to see you," he replied. "He never said why. Sweet Irk... How did this happen, 'Dai?"  
"Sit down, I'll tell you."  
Again, the story came out. Again, it was met with fear, horror and disbelief. This time though, he explained the situation with his old friend. "And now," Jendai ended. "Kasden wants me to choose between staying here and being something I've hated all my life, and leaving everything behind for some planet no one here knows." He sighed, setting his head in his hands. "Either way, I lose. I just need to figure out which way I lose less."  
Kaml climbed up on the bench beside him. His orange eyes were dark as he considered the things Jendai had been pondering for an hour. "The way I see it, 'Dai," he finally said. "is either you lose yourself and everything you believed in, or you lose a way of life. Plus," he laughed. "there is NO way I can picture the mighty Jendai Kaalae being called 'Blue' and wearing a dress."  
He laughed softly, more to make Kaml feel better than out of real humor. "You saying I should leave Irk." It wasn't a question.  
"Yes, 'Dai, I am," came the reply. An awkward pause followed. "Where you gonna go?" Kaml mumbled.  
"As far away from Irk as my ship'll take me," Jendai said briskly. "I don't need the pain of seeing the stupid sun anytime soon." A depressed blue eye turned to Kaml, looking almost haunted. "Thanks, Kam."  
A smaller hand shook his. "No problem, 'Dai," Kaml responded, leaping lightly to the floor. "Contact me when you can... if you can. You hear me?"  
Jendai smiled. "Send Lidge in," he said. "I want to tell her and Min the news. Leave Min for last though."  
"Sure."  
He watched the orange-eye depart from his life, rising to stare out the window. Moonlight washed soothingly over his chest and turned the olive-green to white, lightening the bruises and cuts to gray. His antennae twitched at the sound of the door opening. Lidge. He heard her hesitate, felt eyes on his back, then her footsteps came closer. It was then he turned, giving her a sad smile. Her eyes discreetly moved over his bare chest, stopping momentarily on the wounds. Jendai had forgotten how appealing one could look without a shirt... Now, he knelt down, folding his excessively long legs elegantly under him. Neither Irken spoke a word until the tension grew unbearable. Finally, Jendai made the first move. He decided not to tell her of his choice. "I'm being banished, Lidgers," the mechanic said quietly, careful to cover his emotions for the female's sake. "Off-planet. Forever." Her eyes fell. Gently, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He tried to put a smile on for her sake. "It's better than what they gave the Coalition members..." This time, he didn't bother covering his sorrow. "They killed Leeri..."  
Lidge didn't bother covering hers either. She burst into tears, shaking with sobs. Jendai's heart tore. He gathered the young Irken in his arms and held her tightly against the tears. "I don't want you to go," she choked out finally. "You... I..."  
He considered her reaction a moment. "What is it, Lidgers?" Jendai pleaded, tilting her face up to look him straight in the eyes. "Tell me."  
"I... I..." She cried out, ceasing to speak and pressing her face against his chest. Her tears stung in the cuts. "I... I..."  
One of the guards opened the door cautiously, yelling at Lidge to get out. Annoyance clear in the tilt of his antennae, Jendai growled to himself. He didn't want this goodbye to end anymore than Lidge seemed to. He had always expected to watch the sassy female's skills grow; watch her receive her own voot runner and personal tools. He'd been there for her assigning to Kaml, been there to watch her first completion and even seen her name taking. Those moments were something he would never want to forget. Jendai hugged Lidge tight, then, kissed her on the cheek. He was unsure of why he did it exactly. Maybe the thought of losing another female he'd loved in one way or another compelled him. He tried to give it a gentle, non-implying feel. Sadly, he gave her a push towards the door. She stumbled forward, not allowing herself to even look back at her teacher's friend. "I'll miss you Lidgers," Jendai murmured as the door slammed shut behind the teen forever.  
Jendai stayed on the ground, still staring at the moons. They were half-full now. He was so intent on them, memorizing their shape and color that he didn't notice the door opening once more. What did wake him up was a soft wail of fright. His head snapped around, eyes focusing on wide gray orbs. "Min," he murmured. "It's okay. It's just me. Your Teacher."  
"Teacher Kaalae!" the little Irken cried. Without waiting for a reply, he raced into Jendai's arms, crying harder than even Lidge had. "I'm so glad you're alive!" Innocent eyes looked upwards at him. "You were really sick and miss Leeri sent me away. And then I got brought here..." he paused, tracing a bruise on his Teacher's arm with a gloved hand. "You got hurt. And taller."  
"Yes, I did," Jendai murmured. He sighed. "Listen Min-"  
"Are you gonna be a Tallest?"  
"No, Min." He made the small Irken look at him. "I'm leaving Irk. The Tallest say I have to."  
Hurt filled the gray eyes. "Why, Teacher Kaalae?" Min whimpered. "You didn't do anything bad. You just got all tall. It isn't fair!" He stopped ranting. "What am I gonna do?" he asked. "I need you to teach me stuff."  
Jendai gave his student a sad smile. "Kaml can teach you when Lidge is old enough to go off on her own," he explained. "You'll be okay. I promise." A thought crossed his mind. He stood, still smiling at the tiny child. "Kneel down, Min," Jendai ordered.  
Min's eyes widened in understanding. He smiled too as he knelt on one knee, bowing his head almost to the floor. Jendai paused for a moment, trying to decide the best way to do this. He then sank into almost the same position as Min, holding his head upwards. "Min," he said, tenor voice rolling through the room, even passing through the door. Moonlight fell over the two, bathing everything in silvery light. "I, Jendai Kaalae, am your Teacher. Do you promise to listen, understand and learn from me-er, your replacement teacher for as long as you need me-him?"  
"Yes, Teacher Kaalae. I will," Min said, just as clearly. His little voice wavered slightly.  
The mechanic took a deep breath before continuing. "If I give you my name, Kaalae, given to me by Daske Kaalae, given to her by Elgan Kaalae, do you swear you will keep it in honor and give it only to your student once they have fulfilled your requirements?" It was all coming back to him now, his own name taking. Daske's rough old voice repeating two teachers back, filling him with pride as he knelt before her and the rest of West Jihi. He smiled at the memory.  
"I will, Teacher Kaalae." Min's voice trembled again. It sounded like he was crying.  
"Then," Jendai began, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Mother of Irk, this was hard to do. "as the 4032nd member of the Kaalae name, I grant you the name. From now on, you are to be known as Min Kaalae, 4033rd member of the name." Finishing, he touched his antennae to Min's, completing the most sacred part of all the ritual.  
Min was crying. Once he was sure Jendai had finished, he threw his small arms around him. "Thank you," he sobbed. "Thank you, Teacher Kaalae!"  
"You're welcome, Min," Jendai answered. He patted Min on the back, trying to ease the thoughts he figured the little Irken was having now. Again, the shout of a Soldier broke their moment. "You need to go home now, Min," Jendai said gently. "It's time for me to leave."  
"No, Teacher Kaalae!" he cried. "I still need you!"  
"You don't, Min," Jendai murmured. "Kaml will take care of you." He forced Min to look at him. "You will always be Min Kaalae now. That's all you ever needed from me. Now, go on home. It's late and you need to sleep."  
Min tightened his hold briefly. Jendai returned the gesture before allowing his student to leave. Tear-filled gray eyes never left him as Kaml's gloved hands took Min away. The little mechanic barely had time for a wave. The doors closed, locking Jendai from his old life.   
He stood, watching the moons move across the sky for hours. Finally, he moved. Jendai walked over to the pile of clothing, selecting the ones that would banish him, and slid them on over his beaten body. With that accomplished, he picked up the medical unit, pricking the sensors into his arm. A relaxing feeling came over him as the technology did its job. The cuts and bruises vanished, leaving his skin thickly scarred, but fully healed. That was the one drawback to the handheld units-they always left huge scars. His hand still looked the same. He flexed it nervously. It still worked, even with the warped fingers. Next, he sorted out the Tallest armor from the package, replacing it with scraps from his old uniform. There was a large amount of room left inside. He licked his lips, trying to find where the dimensions were typed in. Finding it, he shrunk the box to fit the holograph capsules and a tattered uniform. His miniscule chores completed, Jendai settled down on the bench to await Kasden's final arrival.  
  
"Do you enjoy hurting your friends?"   
The mechanic winced under the Tallest's wrath. Kas hadn't been too happy to see Jendai's choice. For a moment, he'd stood in the doorway, staring numbly at what the other Irken wore. Then his anger had surfaced. "Do you enjoy crushing us?" the Tallest barked, glaring at what had been his friend. "Because, you know, you seem to be doing that a lot!"  
"No, Kas," Jendai answered, his antennae flicking back. "You know why I'm leaving."  
"No!" the other Student snapped. "I don't!" Armored arms folded over more chest armor. "Mind explaining?"  
Jendai looked away. Why exactly was he choosing this? He almost came out and used Kaml's words, then something made him stop. Instead, he shrugged his thin shoulders. "Guess I didn't want to change anymore than I did," he mumbled. Kas raised an invisible eyebrow confusedly. "Everyone is trying to make me something I'm not!" Jendai nearly shouted. "Regert, Leeri, you... Why can't you all just leave me alone!? I'm a mechanic! Not a teacher, not Almighty Tallest! A mechanic!"  
The Tallest was quiet for a while. "What do you want me to do, Jendai?" he asked, his voice soft. "There isn't anything I can do. What Leeri did to you has been done. It was awful, I know that, but I can't change it. All I can do is give you what you'll need to get off this planet and onto another one alive." He sighed, turning to look out the window. "I brought your voot runner and anything Red thought you might need."  
"He was in on this?" Jendai asked, unable to hide the note of disgust.   
"I had to, 'Dai," he explained. "He's the only one who would know without getting suspicious." His antennae drooped. "The voot is fueled and ready for departure. All you need to do is drive her out of my sight." The proud posture was replaced with a slumped, defeated slump. Purple armor gleamed dully in the weak sunlight drifting in the window. Kas didn't look like a Tallest anymore. He more resembled the beat-up, scrawny purple-eye Jendai had saved from Des all those years ago.  
"Kasden, I..." Jendai started, taking a reproachful step towards him. He wanted to make amends for his mistake. "Look, I'm sor-"  
The Tallest stiffened, his fingers curling into what looked like fists. His antennae twitched inward. "Just go, Mechanic." The last word held an almost scornful manner. When Jendai hesitated, he whirled to face him, eyes blazing. "Didn't you hear me, Mechanic? I'm your Tallest, stupid Student. Therefore I order you to get off of this planet and out of my sight!" He spun back to the window, his antennae now slicked back, letting Jendai know how much those insults stung him as well.  
"Fine," Jendai replied coolly. The Tallest showed no signs that he'd heard. Jendai stalked to the door, the package clenched in his hand. He could remove the chip from his back pod himself in the sanctuary of his voot runner. There would be no one to stop him there. Two Elite Guards-neither Sen-met him at the door, ready to escort him to his ship, without the use of cuffs this time. Before they could, he turned back to Kas. "And as one of your own height," Jendai snapped, careful to keep his voice emotionless. "I order you never to forget who you were before you were Almighty Tallest. I order you never to forget the name Aman as easily as you have forgotten Kaalae." He left then, purposely flicking his antennae inward and not taking a farewell glance over his shoulder.  
Yet, he could have sworn he felt a few tears that did not belong to him glide invisibly down his face as he vanished down the dark hallway. 


	6. Six

Chapter Six  
"And I'm leaving on a jet plane  
I don't know when I'll be back again  
Oh, babe, I hate to go  
But I'm leaving on a jet plane."  
-Chantal Kreviazuk, "Leaving On A Jet Plane."  
  
A sharp tug on Zim's antennae snapped him out of his half-doze. "Is my story boring you, Invader?" Jendai teased, his eyes light with mirth for once. "Or is it something else?"  
Zim managed a weak grin. "Sorry," he muttered.   
"No, no, it's okay," the mechanic gave him a genuine, however upside down smile. "It's getting late. I shouldn't be babbling on like this." He rolled over onto his stomach, staring at the wall. "I think you get the gist of what happened after I left Irk, so if you're feeling tired, I could narrow it all down for you."  
"I appreciate your concern." Zim suppressed a yawn. "But, I'll be just fine."  
The empty gin bottle Jendai was still fiddling with waved in his face. "That yawn begs to differ," the grin faded. "Well, if you insist, here I go again..."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Rainbows danced by the clear, front hatch of the blue voot runner as it blasted free of Irk's atmosphere. The escort of Soldier voot cruisers veered off, heading back to the planet's surface. "The Tallest wishes you luck, Student Kaalae," one of the Elites whom had escorted him away from his cell radioed.   
"Which one?" Jendai mumbled, barely glancing at the little monitor. His fingers flew over the panels, guiding his ship through the pockets of particularly stubborn atmosphere.   
Silence descended in the cockpit. "Ah, Red, sir," the Elite reported. He must have noticed the slight droop of Jendai's antennae, for he continued. "You have my sympathy for the fact that the other has not said a thing since your parting."  
"Yeah, that's just what I need, sympathy from a Soldier drone." He growled at the readings. No non-Irken owned planet was in the near vicinity. He'd have to practically drain the ship's fuel cells before he got to someplace he could live on. "Hey, Elite?" he stole a glance at the image of the other Irken. "Which way is the Empire most likely to expand?"  
"Head towards that galaxy." An image appeared on the inside of the hatch, showing him a star chart of a bright band of stars. "Very few of those planets are habitable, so it is unlikely the Empire will be over there." The diagram enlarged to show a single system. "The third planet from this star is the only hospitable one in this sector and is inhabited by a sapient race of bipedal inferiors." Red eyes turned hard. "It is not worth the Empire's time."   
"Thanks," Jendai answered, downloading the information into the voot's navigational systems and setting a course. He ended the video/transmission link and opened up a non-video transmission. "Kam, it's me. You better have this line open."   
There was a hiss of static, followed by silence, then more static. Finally, a scratchy voice answered. "Jen... wher... re... ou?" Kaml's voice crackled, breaking in more places than the other mechanic cared to hear. He thanked Daske's memory that he'd listened to garbled transmissions too many times. Right now, those irritating situations seemed a blessing in disguise. "...can bar... ear yo..."  
"Same here, Kam," Jendai called. "Listen, I'm off-planet now. Gonna take me six months to get where I'm going. I just wanted to tell you to throw a little party six-months from now. Drink a lot for me."  
Broken mirth came from the dying transmission. "...ure thin... ndai. Lid... isses you... ready... Won't... top... crying. Min's ok... so far... Regert... rowing a... fit. Tal...st sa... you... Invader for... skills... why... ou're leav... Stude... on't... believ... Ho... ou... live throu... the... rip."  
A fragile smile wove across the tired planes of an Irken face. "Thanks." He sighed gustily. "Can't talk long, Kaml. I'll get blasted to bits. But, mother of Irk, you should see it up here..."  
"...eautiful, eh?"   
"More than you can imagine." Jendai's antennae twitched briefly as he studied his surroundings. "Would you tell Lidge something for me?" he asked suddenly, unsure of what prompted him to do so.   
"Sur..." A pause. "...ant me... to writ... down?"  
"Whatever you want," he replied flippantly. "Just tell her that... I'm sorry that this had to happen before I got to see her get out of your place."   
"...tha... all?" Kaml asked him after a moment, letting Jendai know he was indeed writing this down.  
He thought for a moment, trying to choose his next words carefully. What he said here could determine a lot. Was he certain of what he'd thought? "Tell her that I knew what she was going to sa-" A hiss of static and the angry voice of one of his escorts cut him off. "You have been banished, Student," another Soldier snapped. "I suggest you leave Irken space before we're forced to blast you to steaming bits of Student waste."  
The mechanic sneered at the Soldier before checking his radarscope. The four voot cruisers were in a V-formation behind him, blocking a retreat back to Irk. One of them flashed, indicating that it was the one from which the transmission had come. "Right behind me, you stupid Soldier ..." he murmured. With a flick of the controls, he gunned his engines to full power, their exhaust jets blasting nasty scars into the voot cruiser behind his runner. The blast of power sent Jendai's ship sailing away from what had been his home. He heard the Soldier's exclamation of shock over the transmission line, heard it and laughed. The maniacal sound echoed throughout the voot runner cockpit, doubling in volume as Jendai zipped away. His alarms blared once as the Soldiers gave chase, then gave up. This only made him laugh harder. He cackled away, feeling suddenly free of all the problems that had plagued him on Irk. He laughed until he felt weak.  
He laughed until he cried.  
The weakness overtook him suddenly. Antennae drooping from the effort, Jendai typed the coordinates of his new home into his autopilot. That accomplished, he lay back in his chair, his eyelids suddenly feeling far too heavy. Jendai's whole body relaxed as he fell asleep, trying to dream of anything but Leeri's horror-stricken face as she was executed right before his eyes.   
  
His eyes fluttered open. The bright band of stars was far closer than it had been. He glanced at the travel time. Five months? "Mother of Irk," he murmured. More than likely, someone had rigged the oxygen generators to pump something extra into the air. He stretched, trying to get the kinks out of his bones. One hand lazily brushed across the tools. Jendai cocked his head, then picked them up, preparing his back pod for the procedure. All other thoughts drifted away from his mind as the familiar feel of tools in his gloved hands filled the space. The chip was in a tricky place, right under the hook attachment that had once allowed him to hang upside down in West Jihi. The hook would have to be removed before the stupid chip could be.   
Hours and eventually days slipped away as Jendai tinkered with his back pod. There were a hundred little repairs to be made after the beatings he'd suffered. When he finished, there was less than two weeks remaining in his trip. He leaned back in his chair, deciding food sounded pretty good right now. It had been far too long since he'd eaten anything. Thus, in an hour, he'd finished off half of his rations. Sleepiness settled in again. Jendai set his jaw. He couldn't fall asleep now, mother of Irk, he might crash into some blasted moon! With a glance at the fuel readouts, the mechanic sped up the craft slightly. The exact reason for this decision escaped him; maybe he just wanted to escape. Maybe he just wanted to get away from Irk as fast as he possibly could.   
The blare of the alarm came too late.  
A small asteroid clipped one of the storage compartments on the port side of Jendai's voot runner. There were suddenly hundreds of the chunks of rock floating about the small craft, threatening to hammer it to bits. Fighting panic, Jendai tried to maneuver around them. Metallic clunks were heard as fragments pounded the voot from all sides. He tried slowing his ship, but nothing helped. He could only drive and pray that nothing was damaged too terribly. Larger asteroids were flung at him. These he could swerve around, allowing himself to be hit by the smaller ones lurking on the other sides. One particularly bad collision threw him against the hatch, jarring his skull. When things had settled down, he touched the point of impact and was stunned to feel blood slowly dripping down his face. Jendai snarled, keeping one hand pressed to the injury and cursing his forgetting to bring the medical unit with him.   
He didn't know how long he was trapped in the field of asteroids. Time was dead as far as he was concerned. All that mattered was getting out of this mess with his life somewhat intact. No dark thoughts clouded his mind yet. He just wanted to see the ground of a planet again. Red lights went off, alarms blaring. He was leaking fuel. He wondered fleetingly, if life could get any worse. His skull throbbed in time with the alarms. Maybe if he could increase the voot's speed, he could get close enough to the planet so the gravity could pull him in... Yes. That was what he'd do. Grimly, he revved the engines, sending him blasting through the last few yards of the asteroid belt.   
A planet passed by. His head swiveled to look at it. It was larger than Irk, slightly, and red. In his mind, it was instantly categorized as "Soldier." Soldier soon became a distant ball behind him, glowing faintly in the light from a distant sun. Irk, he had to get this off his mind. He was six months away from Soldiers, from being beaten, from hierarchies, from Kaml, Lidge, Min... and Kas. Far away from everything he'd known. Everyone he'd ever cared for was either dead or too far to ever see again. He swallowed heavily, steering his little craft onwards. When was he going to get there? All he wanted was to sink into oblivion. Maybe... just maybe, he could end this wearisome subsistence. The thought of suicide terrified him less than it would have seven months ago. Now it just seemed a way out of a long line of tribulations.   
He refused to let the tears fall as the voot runner sped towards its destination.  
His destination slowly grew before his eyes. He blinked several times. "Mother of Irk," he muttered. The planet was roughly the same size as Irk, but the coloration was all wrong. There were too many patches of strange white things floating around. They vaguely resembled the black clouds that sometimes swirled across his home planet, bringing deadly rain. Patches of brown were the only thing that looked right; they must be land masses, he decided. What he decided was this planet's version of Irken water was a blue color, lacking the metallic sheen and silver color he'd always known. Jendai suddenly felt very alone. The voot flew closer, its driver studying his new home. A few satellites were orbiting the planet. Curious, Jendai flew in close to one. This technology was ancient! Irkens hadn't seen the likes of this since practically the beginning of the Empire! He followed it on its slow, inching pace. Maybe it was for scanning weather patterns, or maybe even watching the populace of the planet? His eyes narrowed.   
The lights flashed on the warning panel. Jendai cursed. The fuel leakage had gotten worse, leaving him with almost none. "Not enough, not enough," he chanted, fingers dancing over the controls. "C'mon babe, gimme something to work with here..." His voot's responses were sluggish, almost tired. The engines gave a low whine, sputtering. "No no no no no! Please, just let me get to the surface alive..." The engines' only response was to die. He had one moment to curse before the voot spiraled out of control, spinning down towards the planet.  
Don'tpanicdon'tpanic... he thought, panicking. He worked the controls, gloves singing over the sensitive panels. The voot made several jerking motions, lessening its steep dive. Yes! Keep that up! He repeated the motions, trying to get the voot runner to glide in gently. Maybe if he locked in some coordinates and hammered away some more... Jendai set the coordinates on the nearest land mass. His long fingered hands worked their magic over and over, fighting with all their strength to stay on course. Atmosphere slammed against the hull, turning it a fiery red. He set his jaw, fighting through the rough stuff. In a flash, land rushed up to meet him. Going too fast! his brain screamed. "Activating emergency protocols," the voot's computer said blandly. "Please brace for impact."  
The ground loomed up. Jendai braced himself, watching the safety take over. The voot's speed lessened dramatically, yet impact still sent him flying out of the front hatch, shattering the substance and wounding him further. He rolled, painfully, over the hard surface, not wanting to move. Everything hurt. He was sure one of his antennae was crushed; it was hard to hear on that side. His bones felt broken again, making sick crunching sounds if he moved. There were more cuts, and even a few gashes, leaking blood onto the ground. Get up, his mind ordered. You don't know where you are. You're not dead, you need your gear, you need to figure out what you're going to do. Moaning, he pushed himself to his knees, examining his hands. They were ripped and torn. Next, he looked around at his surroundings-and cursed. He was in a residential area, on some kind of flat, paved road. Earth houses surrounded him, some with lights turned on. Jendai's pulse raced. What if one of the natives had seen him? He stood, eyes darting around the dark area. There was no sound, other than the flicker of flames from his voot runner's mangled fuel stores. Cautiously, he stood, limping. One hand reached inside the cockpit, pulling out the amazingly undamaged box. He stood there for a moment, teetering on unsteady legs, staring at the wreckage. How could he ever hope to repair it? He felt the blood running down his face, but was unable to locate the source. A sudden sound caused him to freeze. It was a click, almost like the sound of a safety coming off... Jendai slowly turned his head, eyes widening and pulse racing. One of the natives stood behind him, a crude weapon raised, its sight trained on him.  
The mechanic barely had time to cry out before the shot rang through the air, sending him reeling to the hard ground, and blackness engulfed him.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, you bastard?" she whispered from her hiding place. She'd heard the crash-who couldn't?-from her living room and come to investigate. The woman hadn't been fully prepared for the extremity of the situation. Her mind automatically categorized the ruined craft as Irken. Although, what an Irken craft was doing on this planet was beyond her. Others had come here before, albeit they had been Soldiers lost on their way to other planets run by their vast Empire. They had been completely stunned that one who looked so human knew of Irkens and actually sided with them. That was one advantage of being who she was. Before she was able to emerge from her hedge to aid its wounded driver, the annoying human, Frank she believed he was called, had arrived on the scene, a shotgun in his hands. Always trying to destroy what she worked so hard for... She had to get to the Irken! He could possibly be bleeding to death out there, not to mention dead from the shot. Her amber eyes flicked over to him, willing something fortunate to happen.  
His phone rang. She held her breath, hoping this was what she was waiting for. He yelled angrily into the receiver, kicked the limp body on the pavement, then stalked back to his house. She scored a silent victory for herself, dashing out into the street. Her heart tore at the sad sight. The poor thing was hideously tall, probably towering over her if it-he ever stood. There was a gash on his head, several on his legs, most likely a few broken ribs and other bones, bruises and minor cuts covering the other exposed areas of his olive-green skin. She turned him over, gently. On his back were a standard back pod and a gaping hole from the point of entry. Irken blood, an odd pink-silver color, stained the pavement in various pools. How to get him in the house before Frank got back was her new problem. Maybe...   
She pulled a piece of the wreckage from where it lay, dragging it over to the Irken. Very gently, the woman moved him from the ground to the metal. He moaned quietly as the movement jarred his injuries. "Shh," she whispered, running her delicate fingers over his forehead. A soft green light issued from their tips. The Irken sighed, falling deeper into unconsciousness. "It'll all be fine soon, big guy..." As quickly as she dared, the woman dragged the metal away from the crash site to hide behind her hedge. Frank wouldn't come beyond the tall wall of plant life. He wasn't the only one with a gun. Confident her Irken patient was safe, she then attempted to haul the ship back up her driveway. When this failed, she left it where it was, returning to take the Irken inside where he would be safe. Hopefully, Frank would be just as unable to move the ship as she was. There was a forklift around someplace she could use once the Irken was settled. Nobody else on this street would wake up for a long while; tomorrow was Saturday.  
The Irken's antennae gave a feeble twitch at the sound of her footsteps in the grass. Another low moan. "Oh gods," she murmured. "Shh. Please, shh! I'm going as fast as I can, damn it." Amazingly, the Irken stayed silent. She proceeded to drag him inside, praying Frank wouldn't hear the sound of metal against her gravel path.   
Once safely in her home, she got him into one of the assorted medical rooms where he could lie in a bed while she worked. First things first, she decided, striping off his shirt. It tore around the pod, making it look more ragged than it already was. She winced in horror at the sight of the thick and ragged scars on his back. What were those from? The gunshot wound was her first priority. She was unsure whether it had grazed his spine or not. Carefully, her fingers prodded the injury. The Irken almost screamed, despite his unconsciousness. She drew her fingers back, shocked. "Damn..." she swore. It was worse than grazing his spine. The bullet had actually been lodged in a vertebra. There was no way she could remove it without harming the poor alien further. She would just have to leave it in, hoping it wouldn't get worse, and heal the Irken nonetheless. The window was open, letting the cool moonlight wash in. It wasn't candles, but to her, light was light. "Hatany," she said, letting her fingers brush the pendant at her throat. It blazed yellow, filling her body as she reached out to gather the moonlight, pulling it into herself as well. Her eyes glowed brilliantly.   
"Sejus," she ordered swiftly, feeling her energy fill. The light blazed blue now. A healing blue. This had always been the most difficult part. One hand lay on his shoulder blades, the other hovered over the back of his head. The body came first, she reminded herself, then she could see who exactly this stranger was. She inhaled deeply. Her vision changed to one of crystalline outlines. A fragile, flickering strand was all that emerged from her hand on the Irken's shoulders. He was close to going. All her power was pushed into that strand, fighting desperately to keep it from snapping. Harder and harder she fought, feeling her strength draining. It refused to heal, as if the Irken was refusing to accept that he had to live. She strained, willing him to survive. Finally, the strand relented, grudgingly accepting her healing. She backed out of the healing trance, giving her senses a moment to recover. That was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do! She knew now that never again would she be able to complete such a feat. Her power was taxed beyond repair. Being away from Jaimeyt didn't help much either.   
Now the woman checked him over. No new scars. That was a good sign. She rolled him over, listening carefully for the crunch of broken bones. Nothing. She grinned. He would be fine, aside from whatever emotional scarring he'd had before he'd come. It was time for something simpler. Her hand fell to his cool forehead. More light was gathered, less this time, as memories were easier to decode than bodies. "Scantah," she snapped, free hand brushing the medallion.   
Instantly her mind was flooded with horrific visions. Soldiers attacking her, beating her, insulting her. They were all taller than she; they were all beating her, breaking bones. A feeling of innocence lost. The vision shifted. Students this time. Orange eyes, magenta eyes, red eyes, maroon eyes, gray eyes... and purple eyes. A flash of him locking fingertips with her, their blood mingling to forever link them. The purple-eyed one suddenly altered his shape, becoming tall. Becoming an Almighty Tallest and turning his back to her. Another Student came into view. A female with purple/red eyes. She was her love. Then, she betrayed her, causing her to turn into the very thing she hated. More Soldiers appeared, beating her once more. Then, they killed the female Student. The maroon-eyed Student looked up at her, smiled, then lay down and died. Anger, horrible, consuming rage at the purple-eyed Tallest. She punched him, watching him fall to the stone floor of a prison. Pain. The orange-eye patted her shoulder, the magenta-eye cried into her chest. The gray-eye knelt before her as she preformed a sacred ceremony. "Do you enjoy hurting your friends?" the purple-eye snapped. "Didn't you hear me, Mechanic? I'm your Tallest, stupid Student. Therefore I order you to get off of this planet and out of my sight!" His insults stung worse than the Soldiers' blows. Betrayal again. Banishment. And always in the background, Soldiers loomed, ready to strike her, to beat her into oblivion...  
The woman pulled herself out of his mind, shaken once again. "You poor thing," she murmured, running her finger down the length of his straight antennae. He shivered, moaning again. This time, she could distinguish actual words. "Leeri..." he groaned, his voice scratchy with what pain he had left. "Leeri!" he whimpered, his voice stronger now, colored with urgency. She rather liked it. It had a sweet tenor sound to it. "Where are you...?" One striking blue eye slid open, frightened. The other soon followed it, looking dizzily through her. They soon focused. He blinked in fear, whimpering. "Who are you? Where am I? Where's Leeri!?"   
"Hush," the woman ordered. "Panicking will not make you any better." Her fingers tapped his forehead again, sending him back to sleep. "Gods, I wish I knew who did this too you," she whispered, tracing the outlines of the scars on his powerfully built chest. Irkens were all so scrawny. It was a shame to see power go to waste on such a thin body. And so many appalling scars... "Bastards. Picking on a Student. What did you ever do to them?" She stood, pulling the blankets over his frame. It was time she got his ship into the garage where it would be safe.  
  
Where was he? Better yet, where was his shirt? Jendai blinked painfully against the sunlight falling over him. He was in bed, and for a moment, his tired mind conceived the notion that he was back on Irk. Almost immediately, he realized something was wrong. Not with the room. It looked almost perfectly normal. He pushed himself up on his elbows-despite the fact that the movement increased his dizziness-and tried to stand. He swallowed, shaking.  
His legs wouldn't move.   
In fact, he couldn't even feel them. The fact sent a cold chill through his spine. What was wrong with him? He sat up, poking the limbs nervously. Nothing. His touch didn't even register. How could this have happened? Helplessly, he flopped back down on the bed, trying not to whimper. Stranded on a strange planet, dead legs, in a strange house with Irk knew who... Could his life possibly get any worse? A hundred questions flooded his mind. First thing: Shirt. Where was it? Second thing: Who brought him here? No shirt in sight-his box! Panicked, Jendai looked all around him. If he'd lost it... He tried to stand, only to remember his dead legs. Frustration overwhelmed his panic. He sat up again and slammed his fist into the wall beneath the window. When it refused to break, he punched it again, crying out with the sudden pain. It only made him angrier. His fists flew, hitting the wall with satisfying thuds that reverberated throughout the room with a fervor only matched by his fury. "Stupid... Soldiers!" he shouted between blows. "Stupid... Kas! Stupid... Irk! Stupid... KAS!! I... never... want to... see... you again! I wish you were dead! This... is... all... YOUR FAULT!" His hands finally ached too much to continue. Jendai slumped down once more, feeling weak. "I want to die," the mechanic whispered. "I want to die! Anything is better than this... I want to die..."   
Jendai was so wrapped up in his emotions that he didn't notice the figure slip silently into the room. She watched him for a moment, frightened. Her shoulders slumped in defeat as he started crying, the soft, utterly brokenhearted sound echoing in her ears. 


	7. Seven

I own nothing... not the songs, not IZ, just Merana and Jendai... *sniffles* Only 2 more chapters left...  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
"Sitting in my room now, hiding thoughts  
just hoping one day I'll get out  
I hear a voice call out my name, breaking trance  
So silent so I can stay the same."  
-Creed, "My Own Prison"  
  
"And that's how I met Mer..."   
"Interesting meeting," Zim smiled faintly. He noticed the weariness in Jendai's voice, as well as the scratchy tones it was developing. The other Irken looked close to stopping his tale. If he stopped, he would end it. Now, though, Zim didn't really blame him. He'd had an idea these things had gone on back home. He had never taken part in the beatings, although he admitted inwardly that he'd almost wanted to at times. The tallest Soldiers in the barracks always went out to do so on their free hours. It was almost a rite of passage; a rite Zim had never been a part of due to his height. He had to keep Jendai talking. Maybe if the mechanic's mouth were kept busy, his mind would forget its purpose of carrying out the ultimate solution. "Did the Soldier named Des ever come to this planet?" he asked.  
Jendai looked up sharply. His eyes narrowed. "How did you know about that?" he asked, his voice dangerously quiet. When Zim hesitated to reply, he sighed, shoulders heaving with the force of the exhalation. "Don't bother explaining. You read that book, eh?" He smiled wanly. "Should have figured. Suppose you don't need to know anything else if you read that... Anyway, Des was lost, crashed here, got the shit beat out of him by yours truly for everything he did to me and Kas, and then was sent on his way again by Merana." The gloved fingers-mangled and normal-flexed, the knuckles cracking almost impatiently. "Where'd you put the blaster, Zim?"  
"You don't sound afraid." What would it take to halt his demise? Zim chewed his lip thoughtfully. He couldn't let another Irken die, as the death of their own kind went against everything programmed into Irken minds as much as the thought of committing the act itself. "Have you tried this before?" he asked, deciding it was better not to divulge how much of Jendai's journal he'd actually read.   
"It didn't work. I had Mer then though..." Sorrow filled his face again. "This is hard, Zim..." he muttered. "You're the only other Irken alive to hear about this... heh, it's kind of embarrassing actually..."  
Zim settled back, pleased with his work. Perhaps if Jendai got this story all the way out, he would reconsider his death. Then, his little side mission would be accomplished. "Go on, Jendai. You have plenty of time."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
He sat gloomily beside the window, hands folded into a pyramidal shape, the fingers touching at their gloved tips, one pair resting remorsefully on his temple as blue eyes stared forlornly into the rain patterns. There were dark circles engraved deeply under the azure jewels, showing, without any other outward sign, the severity of his depression and the serious lack of slumber. At times, pain filled them, pain both inner and physical. The marks from the rescue were gone, the holes sewed up and the wounds healed.   
The wounds you could see, anyway.  
Emotional wounds took far longer to heal, and paralysis took a literal eternity. He would never walk on his own physical power again. Now, he was forced to rely on the power Irken technology had given him at birth, he had to rely on the robotic legs from that night until the day he died. He sighed, staring out at the wet world. Long ago, he'd learned the dangers of earth. Humans tried to kill you, water burned your skin, most foods tasted like poison... Not that he was ever hungry anymore anyway. He just felt sick. Sick, weak, helpless... The pills he was forced to take-to make him sleep, and to chase away the physical pain-did little to ease this sickness. He fingered recent burns on his bare arms. Water. Stupid, useless stuff. A book was opened across his lap, as he was supposed to have been practicing writing and reading the human language. What use did he have for the stuff? All he needed to know were curses, that was enough for him. The past haunted him. It tore at his sanity, breaking him more than any Soldier beating ever had.  
Ah yes, breaking. What was the point of being unbreakable now? Two months of this horror, or this hell as humans said. Two months of being trapped on earth with another alien, probably the only thing keeping him sane now. Two months of paralyzed legs had finally done what no Soldier had ever come close to doing. Two short months... sixty long, trying days, had broken his spirit. There was nothing left to live for now. He already had it planned out. How he was going to carry out the deed, what he would say in the journal he'd started keeping recently, how he would prepare his mind.   
Human poison. So many uses for it! So many uses for a simple, perfect thing... There was the obvious one, then some did things for cars, cleaned things and destroyed pests. The only one he had access to was one known as "antifreeze." Supposedly, it destroyed the organs, providing for a slow, very agonizing death. A sardonic smile, soft and fragile, slunk onto his tired face. It didn't matter anymore. There had been so much pain already, so much suffering, what did a few hours more matter? A bottle waited for him under the kitchen sink. Waited until the cover of night freed him from the pain, the scars, from the past that haunted him. Damn this rain. It only sunk him deeper into depression. His hands slid further up his face, hiding his mournful gaze from the world.   
"How are you doing, Jendai?" a soft, feminine voice asked from behind him. The Djemy again. She seemed to have an obsession with him. He wished she would just leave him alone in peace... her constant attention made it hard to do what he intended.   
"Fine," he snapped, hiding the blank pages from her amber gaze. Her name was Merana Sali. What did that matter to him? He rarely spoke to her anyway. Rarely spoke at all, for that matter. He knew almost everything about her, her purpose, her ambition, her cause... and in return all she knew was that he was an Irken mechanic who had been banished and had far too many scars. "Do you need something?"  
He heard a slight sniff of indignant tone from her. A delicate hand came to rest on his shoulder. The Irken shuddered at the touch, even the thought of another female touching him brought too many demons back to life. The hand vanished. "Something's bothering you," Merana said simply. "Your antennae are against your head. Your species only does that when something's eating at them."  
His eyes narrowed. "Nothing," Jendai mumbled, keeping his eyes fixated on the outside world. "Just leave me alone. I need to be alone." She hesitated. "Leave me alone, Djemy."  
"I just want to help you." Damn, she was persistent. "Please, tell me what's wrong. Maybe it's something I can help ease."  
"You can't do anything else for me," he growled, turning his head slightly to look at her. His head hurt. It always did around this time of day. "Now, all you can do is leave me alone." He turned back to the window, telling her the subject was closed. He heard her finally walk off, muttering to herself. The fragile smile returned.   
Nothing would stop him from committing himself to the deed now.  
  
Everything was settled.   
Long fingered hands placed the human music disk into the player, selecting the correct song. Music flooded the darkness of the kitchen. Every few moments, lightning flashed, illuminating a weary Irken face. Showing a bottle in his gloved hand. He stood in the center of the room, watching the rain continue to fall outside the huge kitchen windows.   
"I feel the cold wind blowing beneath my wings  
It always leads me back to suffering  
But I will soar until the wind whips me down  
Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again."  
  
Human music was strangely pleasing to his Irken senses. Especially this song. It personified his emotions and his decision perfectly. He slowly unscrewed the top of the bottle, reading the warning in halting fragments. Hah, he didn't need to know this. Poison was exactly what he wanted. He was tired of it all. Tired of the twisted irony of life. What he wanted now was for death to release him. To finally free him from his toil. To break the cycle of trying to live. It was pointless now...   
  
"So tired now of paying my dues  
I start out strong but then I always lose  
It's half the distance before you leave me behind  
It's such a waste of time."  
  
Even if Merana were to come now, it would be too late for him. He was so deep in his resolve to die that he doubted he would notice if Leeri herself walked into the room. Leeri... He would see her again soon. He would see Leeri and he would see Daske. They would keep him safe from the Soldiers again. He could finally be happy. He wondered faintly if his passing would affect Kasden in any way. It wasn't important now anyway. There was nothing the Tallest could do about it now, or would do for that matter. He couldn't let such thoughts stop him.  
  
"'Cause my shackles  
You won't be  
And my rapture  
You won't believe  
And deep inside you will bleed for me."  
  
He raised the bottle to his pale lips and took a long, shuddering swallow, almost gagging at the bitter taste. It was like a mix of ahki and soap. His body convulsed suddenly, sending his back pod attachments spasing out of control. The motion threw against the cupboards violently. A slight grin was on his face, even as pains wracked his abdomen. Apparently this poison affected Irkens worse and faster than humans. His vision blurred. Through the haze he could hear Merana calling him. Someone stroked his antennae soothingly. "Hold on," she whispered. "Please, Dai, I'll do all I can."  
  
"So here I slave inside of a broken dream  
Forever holding on to splitting seams  
So take your piece and leave me alone to die  
I don't need you to keep my faith alive."  
  
Anger filled him. "No," he rasped out. "I want... to die! Leave... mee... lone..." It was hard to speak. "Go... way!" He wished he could explain his reasoning to her, wished he could tell her all that had happened to him. All the troubles, the pain, the suffering. Why he had to do this. His mind refused to relay the information to his mouth. "I... 'ave... oo."  
  
"I know now what trouble can be  
And why it follows me so easily  
It's half the distance through the open door  
Before you shut me down  
Again  
Let me introduce you to the end."  
  
His breathing grew shallow, coming in ragged gasps from a heaving chest. He turned his head to the side, throwing up everything he'd forced down his throat. More pain wracked his beaten body, causing him to convulse on the cold linoleum. The hands of the Djemy were all that prevented his neck from snapping off his shoulders as the rest of him shook violently.  
  
"Though you know you care  
my shackles  
You won't be  
And my rapture  
You won't believe  
And deep inside you will bleed for me  
And my laughter  
You won't hear  
The faster   
I disappear  
And time will burn your eyes to tears..."   
  
Jendai's already utterly exhausted body gave one last, desperate convulsion before his blue eyes fluttered closed.  
  
Sometime later, the cobalt jewels slid open again, staring into amber pools. The eyes he looked into were wet with tears that were rapidly falling onto his chest. "Hello," she murmured. "You're alive."  
The statement was almost enough to send him into another fit of despair. Yet, something stopped him. "You... you saved me?" Jendai whispered, shocked at how hoarse his tenor voice had become since the incident. He tried to move, then discovered he was far too weak to do much more than speak or blink. The pain was gone now, replaced by only a nauseated feeling and a heat in his face that wouldn't go away. His head still ached. "Why? I wanted to die, Merana Sali. I have nothing left, on Irk, or on this hellhole."   
"Jendai..." something cool was pressed to his head. It was a frozen washcloth. No water, just a cloth that had been sitting in the freezer. He shivered once, then visibly relaxed. "I saved your life... again, because..." The amber eyes looked indecisive. "I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I worked so hard to save you the first time. I don't like to let hard work go to waste." Her free hand stroked his antenna lightly, more of a comforting gesture than anything else. Jendai, unashamedly, relished the touch. In a deepening haze, his mind turned the Djemy's image into Daske's. He smiled wanly. "Go to sleep, Jendai Kaalae. You need your rest. I'll be here with you the whole while."  
And she was. The moment his eyes opened, they locked with hers. Judging from the light coming from the windows, it was sometime in the late afternoon or early evening. She'd moved a chair beside the bed; added more blankets over his shaking body, and hadn't changed clothes. The weakness in his upper body was slowly fading, while the sickness persisted stronger than ever.   
"How are you?" she asked softly. There were black circles under her eyes that stood out in contrast with her pale, pink-toned skin. Her fingers were cool against his face. They uncurled to reveal new pills that he'd never seen before. He was too weak to resist when she put them in his mouth and watched him swallow them. "Those were called antidepressants; they'll help you so you'll have to take them from now on." Her eyes look wet. "Are you any better? Worse? Can you talk?"  
The Irken nodded faintly. "Feels same," he mumbled. "Cept, doesn't hurt."  
Her cool hands stroked his antennae again. "Poor thing..." A frown creased Merana's delicate face. "I was able to fix what you did to your body, but I'm pretty sure you're going to have to live with being sick for a while." The hands froze when an involuntary purr formed in Jendai's throat, building with relief and pleasure. "What?" she asked, genuinely surprised at his reaction.  
"Irken sweet spot," he breathed. It had been so long since he'd felt that touch he longed for. Too long, in fact. "Keep goin'. Please."   
"Oh." She resumed the act. "I see." Pale, perfect lips pursed in a small frown. "I did all I could for you," the Djemy explained quietly. "Your body will function normally as soon as we can get you well again." She paused once more. "Why?" The simple question was the thing he'd been dreading the most. "Why did you do it, Jendai Kalae?"  
He coughed. "Kaalae," Jendai offhandedly corrected. "An' I dunno..."  
"Yes you do," she insisted. "You know, otherwise you wouldn't have done it. Tell me. Please?" There was something in her eyes that forced him to explain. He looked away before telling her. He told her everything, starting from as early as he could remember, up until this moment. She waited patiently through the parts where his voice broke, where the tears threatened to boil over, where emotion halted the parts that haunted him the most. Sometimes, she would murmur in surprise, but for the most part, Merana was quiet, as Kas had been, simply listening. As the story ended, he was stunned to see small tears at the corners of the Djemy's own eyes. "So, that's where all those scars came from," she whispered. "You poor, little thing..."  
Jendai turned his head away from her as best he could. This nausea was returning with all the memories of the past. "I don't want sympathy," the mechanic snapped. "Like Kas said, what Leeri did was awful, but nothing anybody says or does can change what happened to me." His eyelids drooped. "Now you know, Merana Sali, why I wanted to die."  
"Is that still what you want, Jendai Kaalae? After all you've lived through, everything you've beaten, do you still want to end it?"   
Her hand gently, firmly, grasped his chin, turning his head to look directly at her. Jendai stared into her face. In that moment, the Djemy struck him as beautiful, even more so than Leeri. Her face, in fact her whole body, had such a delicate structure to it, looking as if you could break her by simply holding her too tightly. The amber and white orbs, so fascinating to him now, bore into him, compelling him to tell her the truth. Silver-blonde hair, a color Jendai had never seen before, hung down past her shoulders, flowing over her body. Her hair was the strangest thing he'd ever seen. Now, he imagined running it through his fingers, just playing with it in general. He wondered how she would react, was her hair like a Djemy version of antennae...? And then he shook the thought off. What was wrong with him? Leeri still haunted his mind, and he shouldn't abandon her memory this quickly. Yet, something changing... something was forming inside him he didn't think could ever happen again. Careful not to break her, his hand slowly reached up to grab her wrist. "No," he murmured, finally breaking the silence. "You're right... I can't do it. Not with..." His hand went limp, falling back to the bed, not even rustling the blankets.   
"Shh, shh," Merana smiled, pulling the blankets up around his shoulders. "I know you won't. Go back to sleep. You need rest."  
He almost said no. Then her fingers brushed his antennae once more, slowly stroking them, and he was forced into the most peaceful sleep he'd had since the day his voot runner had smashed into the pavement outside her house.  
  
"Keep them closed," Mer lectured, steering him into some room. "If you peek, you don't get the surprise!"  
"I'm not looking," Jendai laughed. He was seated in what was called a wheelchair, as Merana felt he wasn't strong enough yet to move even with the use of his robotic legs. It was a less dignified position than he'd liked to have around the house, but Mer's orders weren't challenged. He kept his eyes tightly shut, laughing at the absurdity of all this. This was so funny, being pushed around the house by a tiny humanoid because he'd been stupid enough to think he could die in a house with someone who could heal with a touch. "I swear!" he said, still laughing. This was the first time in a very long time he'd laughed this freely. He thought he sounded like Min.  
Mer pushed him forward for a moment, then stopped the chair and moved away from it. "Okay," he could almost hear her smiling. "You can open them now."  
The first thing that met his eyes was the scarred, battered hull of a blue voot runner, lying on the cement floor of a square room. For a long time, he stared at it, laughter dead. After a moment, he took in the rest of the room. It was lit by evenly placed, overhead lights that hummed pleasantly with their fluorescent glow. Along one wall, windows let in sunlight from just below the ceiling. The walls were painted blue, running down into a black, cement floor. There were tables and shelves that were filled with materials and odd tools of human origin. The only thing he recognized was a small, plain box of Irken make, placed carefully on its own, private shelf. He blinked, stunned. "Blue and black, your colors, right 'Dai?" Mer asked, coming around to kneel at his level on his right. One of her hands rested gently on his. "You're a mechanic too. I figured this would be heaven for you."  
He slowly wheeled his chair forward. His free hand-Mer didn't let go of his other hand-gingerly touched the voot's broken side, the glove snagging on a jagged edge. "Hey," he swallowed heavily. "Good to see you again..." Students loved their voot runners almost like living things, as they were one of the few things that would never be taken away if things got bad. If they lost their job, they could lose everything except their voot runner and their back pod. Jendai was no exception to this love. It was hard for him to see his voot in such a dismal condition. Feeling choked up, he turned away, slowly looking over every inch of the room. It passed his inspection. "Thank you," he whispered to Merana, returning to her. "This... this is amazing. I... I don't know what to say."  
"You're welcome," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. For a moment, he sat tense, resisting the feeling that was coming over him. No. This wasn't right. He couldn't... not this soon... he couldn't let her go this fast... His body relaxed out of its own accord, letting the pleasure sensation rise up to his mind. Involuntarily, Jendai hugged her back, gaining enough control of his body to keep his hands from running up and down her spine, noting the absence of the back pod. That fact was a little unnerving, but... he'd learned to cope with her other, more obvious differences.   
"Is there anything you need me to work on?" he asked, breaking away. Her hands lingered in his own, pulling slowly away. "Like toasters or anything?"  
She laughed. "How'd you know the toaster broke?"   
"Thing was smoking like hell when I tried to toast something," Jendai explained, shrugging. His vocabulary of Earth curses had become almost as vast as a human's... he was quite proud of it. "Figured something needed tweaking but didn't know what I should do..."  
Merana shot him a warm smile. "I'll go get it for you, 'Dai."   
He watched her go with a soft, equally warm smile on his face.  
Time passed, turning eventually into ten years that somehow seemed shorter than he would have guessed. He healed, emotional wounds even beginning to patch themselves up. Yet, one refused to even begin to heal, continuing to fester and tweak at his mind. It never left him alone, especially in sleep. During the day it was easier to shake it off. But when night came...   
In time, the major hurts lessened, fading back into nothingness as he tried desperately to remain who he had been. To keep his mind busy, Jendai would hole up in his workshop for days, slaving away on projects or things that had broken. At these times, he was inapproachable, surly and almost in a different place all together. Merana learned quickly how to deal with him in these instances. Personally, Jendai didn't like the Irken he was becoming. More and more he found himself lashing out at inanimate objects in a blind rage. Curses were frequent from his mouth and he had little idea how to stop the flow once it began. On the other side, sometimes, he would sink so deeply into a period of depression that he caught himself thinking about diving off the edge once more. At these times, he again holed up in his workshop, weak and vulnerable rather than angry and aggressive. Merana also learned how he needed her at these times. How much he needed to know that there was still something around him who cared for his life... how much he needed her to touch and reassure him.  
In order to focus his new aggression at something living, he'd learned how to drive a human vehicle. Merana had explained her duty on the planet, and had asked him to accompany her, to aid in her various rescues. He hated it. The other drivers had no consideration for him, an attitude he was all too familiar with in beings. Other than his annoyances, he was quite good at aiding her, driving her and keeping any onlookers quiet... a task which he grimly enjoyed at times.   
It was on one of these rescues that his sanity frayed almost to the breaking point.   
"Just a few more miles to the site, Jendai," the Djemy said from the passenger side of their white van. "It's a fairly recent crash, so there shouldn't be any gawk-ers."  
He barely nodded his head, so intent was he on the road. "What race?" he asked curtly. "Do you know?"  
There was a long silence. "Irken..." Merana said finally. "Irken craft..." More silence. "I'm sorry, Dai... You, you don't have to come with me if you don't want to. It wasn't right of me to ask you..."  
"I'm coming with you," Jendai retorted. "They can't hurt me any more than they have, and they won't have a bunch of Soldier bastards around to help them..." His eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. He turned off into a large field of grass at her insistence, eyes alert for anything.   
It was hard to miss. A voot cruiser, smashed into the ground, smoke rising from its hull and outer skin. There was no sign of movement Jendai pulled up, a fact he noted with slight satisfaction, no sign of life. He stopped ten feet from the wreck. Merana slowly climbed out, advancing cautiously. For once, she didn't wait for him to collect himself, to sort out his thoughts and retrain the memories. Resting his head in his hands, elbows braced on the steering wheel, Jendai took a few long, relaxing breaths before ducking out into the chill night. No matter what he saw, no matter what he remembered, he would control himself. He promised himself to do so. With a sudden swell of courage, he started over to where Merana stood over a semi-conscious body...  
And stopped dead.  
All resolve melted as he stared into that face. A face unchanged by years of beating up on the innocent. A face he knew better than his own, and loathed with every ounce of his soul. A face he longed for years to beat in, to break its fragile bones...   
The face he now looked into was the face of Des, unaltered by time.  
He fell back against the van, startled at how near it suddenly seemed. His breath came in rushing, hissing, gasps as he fought to stop himself from seeing the gleaming red of Des's half-open eyes and ripped uniform. Beneath his gloves, the muscles of his hands bunched, tensing for battle. Why now? Why this? He felt his eyes narrowing into furious slits. And felt his pulse pound in his veins, ordering him to destroy without mercy, without discrimination, and with a thirst for vengeance. Unwillingly, his robotic legs took a few wavering steps forward. Merana said something to him, something drowned out in his seething rage. Not even her slender hands grasping his wrists made him halt in seizing Des's green throat. The Soldier's eyes flew open the moment he was touched by Student hands. Des paled to a pasty white in recognition. He uttered a few, frightened, indiscernible words, kicking feebly in an attempt to escape Jendai's crazed grip. The SIR who normally would have protected its master lay inactive on the ground, its head severed from its pencil-thin neck.   
Effortlessly, Des was lifted from the ground by the one whom he had tormented, and was slammed into the side of the van. "You!" Jendai snarled. His voice dripped with scorn, hate, contempt and, above all, raw rage. "You sorry, goddamned, piece of shit bastard Solider!" The word "Soldier" was belittling in his transformed manner, where in others it would have been honorific.   
"I... I don't know you... You can't know m-me!" Des managed to choke out, his eyes huge from terror. "I... I... I... am Invader Des-" he was cut off, gasping when Jendai's fingers dug into his tender throat.   
"I know exactly who you are, you lying sonofabitch!" the Mechanic fairly screamed. He had no control over his words or over his actions at this point. He was too far-gone into the abyss. "And you know exactly who I am. Otherwise you wouldn't be pissing yourself right now!" Des yelped. Oh, he knew. He knew all too well. "But since you're having a little memory lapse right now, I'll refresh your memory." Using his free hand, he pulled up the right side of his shirt, letting his arm slide out and every scar on that side fall under the scrutiny of the world. There was a set to Jendai's antennae that was familiar, yet hadn't been seen on Earth in years. "Remember me now? You gave me these! You gave me my scars! Each goddamn scar I have is YOUR fault!" He was breathing heavily now, trembling with the wrath his soul yearned to vent. His face was morphed into a twisted, insane mask graced with a horrific snarl, filled with the dangerous glint of zipper teeth. Even Merana backed away. "Everything is your fault! Everything! You almost killed Kas! You almost killed me with your idiotic drones' lust for harming the innocent! You made Leeri do what she did to me! You are responsible for everything that happened to me on Irk! It's your fault I'm here! Your fault I'm a paralyzed bastard whose only will to survive comes from a Djemy!"  
Des was silent. He was too terrified to speak anything in his defense.  
With a bestial cry of torment held in for far too long, Jendai dropped him, kneeling to move in with fists flying. He knew nothing of what he was doing, blind to the pain he was causing, and deaf to the cries his revenge was creating. Jendai laughed. Similar to the laugh ripped from him in his voot runner so long ago, this one was almost triumphant, dark and sounded like someone who should have never been freed from the padded walls or confining jackets of an institution for those who were misunderstood by humanity. Faster and harder his fists slammed into the Invader's body. He couldn't stop, his mind was too frayed by the sight of his old enemy and the years of toll on both planets. "How does it feel, Des?" Jendai sneered. "How does it feel to be beat by someone taller than you only because you're vulnerable and short!?" His voice raised in volume, swelling to encompass the whole field with its misery.   
"HOW THE HELL DOES IT FEEL TO BE ME!?"  
"Jendai! Stop! You're killing him!"   
A slight hand on his arm finally stopped insanity's fury. He froze, one hand in the act of impacting with Des's skull. He stared at what had been an Irken and was now a mess of blood and bruises created from his hands. Revolted suddenly, he fell backwards, trembling from the release. Tears were streaming down his face, tears he didn't even know were being shed. His gloves... his gloves were... his gloves were covered in... in blood. The realization almost made him retch. Merana's hand was firmly on his arm, her nails almost digging into his olive-green skin. "Please... Dai just stop," she whimpered through her own tears. "You're only looking for someone to blame! Des isn't the one you should be focusing on. Dai... you're just being what he was to you! You're the one giving him the scars!" Her amber eyes were large in the flickering flames from the destroyed voot cruiser. "You're becoming him."  
Now he did retch. Turning his head under the van, he was met with his dinner from hours ago. Then his lunch. He was shaking; shaking so bad his antennae wavered in the air. Despite his need, he found himself unable to breathe. Suddenly, there were arms around his waist, secure, peaceful arms that brought him back from the brink into reality. They anchored him in who he was once more. "Oh god..." was all he could manage to say. Merana held him tighter, preventing him from returning to his madness. "It's okay," she whispered into his shirt. "Jendai, I'm here. I'm here. Come back... I'm here. It's okay now. I promise it's okay now. I'm here."  
Des lay forgotten behind the back wheel of the van. The two were oblivious to his presence, each engulfed in the desperate want to comfort the other. He would still be there when sanity returned further. His injuries were too insignificant compared to Jendai's mental torment to be dealt with at the current moment.   
It felt good, her arms around him. At the back of his mind, through the psychosis and cloud of confusion and hate, an impulse and a melody came to him. He reached down and pulled her close to him. He didn't know all the words, or what was happening to him. He just knew he needed her to hold him and needed to hold her in return. How long this peace would last was something he refused to dwell on right now.  
  
...All I can taste is this moment  
and all I can breathe is your love  
But sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight...  
  
Jendai's body shook with sobs he couldn't control. He'd come so close to being everything he'd hated, more than once. He could barely take it. If anyone had seen him in that moment, the minute he'd lost it, he didn't know what he would have done. They would have tried to make him stop forcefully, not realizing what he needed. Everyone... everyone but Merana Sali. She wanted to know him even better than Kas, Leeri, or even Daske did. At the moment, he wanted her to. Even if it were just so she wouldn't remember his maniac side. He didn't know how long he'd be with her, how long she would protect him from the shadows, the darkness, the abyss. It wouldn't be forever. Nothing was forever.  
  
...And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know   
Who I am...  
  
She tightened her arms around him in response to his sobs. "It's all right, Jendai. You need this. Go ahead," Merana Sali whispered. Her head leaned against his chest. Jendai felt himself shake, not with the release, but with something else. By the mother of Irk, he wished he could let himself tell her... but tell her what? That he needed her to love him? That he needed her to hold him always? For all she knew, he was just like Des. Someone who needed no one and nothing. Someone who knew nothing of any other emotion save aggression, hate, or allegiance to their leader. He had to tell her one of these days... had to stop fighting what he knew now. But how could he? Such a thing seemed in violation of Leeri's memory. But when he thought of her now, holding the little Djemy tightly in his arms against her own fear and for his consolation, she actually seemed truly dead for the first time since her execution.   
  
...You cannot fight the tears  
that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in   
Your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know  
You're alive...   
  
"Please, Jendai. Tell me you're going to be all right now?" one of her hands lay against his chest as she said this, feeling his pulse beneath the muscle and scar tissue. He suppressed the urge to purr. Everything about this moment reassured him, made him feel safer than he'd felt in all his days on Earth. It also sent pleasurable chills through his worn body. It felt so right... more right than anything. "Jendai?" The hand now brushed the tears from his blue eyes. "Jendai, please talk to me. You're safe now, Des won't hurt you ever again. I'm going to send him back to Irk as soon as I can. You'll never have to deal with another Soldier again... oh god, Dai, I swear you won't!" Tears now filled her own eyes. "I'm so sorry everything turned out this way. I never should... have subjected you to this..."  
  
...And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that  
They'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know  
Who I am...  
  
He looked down at her. The contented purr finally escaped him. Merana blinked, then leaned into his chest, crying harder with her joy. She knew what that sound meant. And he was glad of it. "I'll be okay," he promised softly, holding her close. Mother of Irk... her hair was the softest thing he'd ever felt. "I'll be okay..."  
  
...I just want you to know  
Who I am...  
  
He'd be just fine, now that he had something to live for again.   
  
  
Well, that was sappy! "Shackles" is by Vertical Horizon and "Iris" is by the Goo-Goo Dolls. 


	8. Eight

Blah! Sorry this took forever… it gave me so many difficulties… . You better enjoy and R&R!! One last note… No implied slash in this chapter! Even if it seems like it! There is none! I know some of you *coughelvelloncough* who gave me problems about parts of this… Just read it and think no slashy thoughts!  
  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
"And all I ever  
  
Learned from love  
  
Was how to shoot at someone  
  
Who outdrew you  
  
It's not a cry  
  
You can hear at night  
  
It's not somebody who's seen the light  
  
It's a cold and  
  
It's a broken Hallelujah."  
  
-RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, "Hallelujah"  
  
"Remind me again why Des was on this planet…"  
  
"I honestly don't know… he probably just got lost…"  
  
Silence then fell on the chilled room. Oppressive, angst-ridden silence that was literally deafening to Irken senses. Sometime during the final leg of his tale, Jendai had found the blaster again and was now toying with it. His hands shook. "Now you know," he murmured finally. His voice quavered as well. "why I have to do this. Zim, you know now why I have to end it here, now, before I lose it again."  
  
"You can't," Zim snapped, his tone so urgent Jendai turned to stare at him. "Go back over your story yourself, you'll see it! The Djemy said it herself! You have survived far too much to just give in to this… this darkness!"  
  
A weak, dying smile emerged onto Jendai's exhausted face. He swallowed, looking like he was about to say something, then stopped. "You go back over my story, Zim," he sighed. "Merana was the only thing keeping me alive here. When you lose everything you have," he began, the faraway glaze entering his eyes. "you think nothing can touch you. Then, something so precious and dear to you is ripped away and you realize you're truly all alone… " He sighed again, this time so heavily it looked like he had just exhaled every last breath of air his body had left.  
  
"Jendai Kaalae!" The Invader climbed down from his sitting position, facing the other Irken with a stern gaze and hands on his hips. "I refuse to listen to your self-pity! You know as well as I that you are able to overcome this. You have beaten everything the Mother of Irk saw fit to throw to you! You can beat this as well!"  
  
The blue eyes bored into him. Slowly, Jendai slid off the bed to sit on his knees, resting on the floor before Zim. One gloved hand came to rest on the Invader's shoulder. "Zim…" his voice was quiet, hesitant. "You don't want me to die? You want me to continue on, with a shadow's existence?" Zim nodded. The tall Irken was quiet, unsure of what he wanted to say. He began a sentence, then stopped it several times. "You're not a Soldier," he said finally. Normally, Zim would have taken extreme offense to that and lashed out, but given the circumstances, he simply listened. "You're… you're a mix. You act like both a Soldier and Student at the same time. You fight and are aggressive like a Soldier, yet you care what happens to other Irkens…" Jendai looked at him. "Only Students do that."  
  
Zim stared. Coming from Jendai, those words were the highest compliment he knew he could receive. "Thank you," he stammered, trying to keep a calm exterior. "Thank you very much for that, Jendai." He shrugged slightly. "You are the finest example of your Class I have ever met."  
  
"Flattery can't stop me, Zim. Not now. I'm in too deep." The hand slumped to Jendai's side. In his lap was the blaster. "If you really want to repay me, you'll help me get out of this…" He looked away, obviously not wanting Zim to see the tears in his exhausted eyes. Blue orbs that had seen too much, been hurt too badly too many times. There were lines and circles around and under them that shouldn't have been there. He swore there were even a few gray dots that would eventually turn to black-a sure sign an Irken was getting older. Again, Zim recalled how different Jendai was now. Merana's death had irreversibly changed him. It had aged him terribly and truly broken the seemingly indomitable Student spirit he possessed. Jendai had said his sudden paralysis had broken him, yet Zim could see that it hadn't. The Djemy's death had been the final blow. He rarely smiled anymore, whereas, months ago, almost anything brought a bit of joy to him. "I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking…" Jendai murmured, quoting a song from Creed. "Please Zim? You're the only one I have left."  
  
The Invader rose, standing tall and proud. It went against his instincts, but Jendai Kaalae was an ally and a friend who desperately needed what he asked for. He took a deep breath. After all this, everything he'd tried had been for naught. "What do you need me to do?" Zim asked.  
  
A most fragile of smiles found its way onto Jendai's face. "Turn the CD player on to track ten," he murmured, pushing himself up. The robotic legs only came out to support him. Long fingers ran down the sides of the blaster almost regretfully. Zim obediently flipped on the correct song, positioning himself near Jendai in case he was needed.  
  
1 "You can be right and I'll be real  
  
But I'll still be a thing that you  
  
Will have to feel  
  
Cause I don't need your approval  
  
To find my worth…"  
  
This time, Jendai allowed his tears to show. His shoulders shook with sobs, whether they were torn from him in relief or sorrow, Zim didn't know. He could tell that Jendai believed Zim was right, that his death was not the only answer. Although, right now it was the only option he thought he had. What the Invader knew was whom the song was directed at. Him. Him and everyone else in the universe that had a hand in the fate this Irken would now suffer. So many… both Irken and non, had driven Jendai to this day, this hour, this moment. He could almost picture Jendai yelling out the lyrics at everyone in his tale, defying them, missing them… loving them to the very end. To this moment…  
  
2 "Trapped inside of my own mind  
  
Afraid to open my eyes  
  
Because of what I'd find and I  
  
Don't want to live like this  
  
Anymore…"  
  
A ragged, heartsick sigh melted into words. "When I'm gone," Jendai said, almost to himself. "contact my friends and tell them for me…" He was shaking. Not from fear, fear was no use now. It was most likely excitement that caused his trembling. Soon, all this would end. His antennae pricked with determination. "Will you?"  
  
"Of course," Zim said, bowing slightly. "My Tallest, Jendai Kaalae."  
  
3 "There goes my pain, there goes my chains  
  
4 Did you see them falling?  
  
5 There goes this feeling, that has no meaning  
  
6 There goes the world, off of my shoulders  
  
7 There goes the world, off of my back…"  
  
Abruptly, Jendai went rigid, halting the movement of the blaster towards his chest. For a minute, he looked as if he were about to burst into sobs again, then restrained himself. He swallowed heavily. "I left Irk so no one would call me that again," he murmured, hastily wiping his eyes. "Do you have to cause me more pain by reminding me now?" His eyes narrowed as a shaky breath escaped him. "I'm standing here Zim," Jendai said quietly. "open, and vulnerable to you. Please, don't make this any harder than it already is. Don't give me one last scar to cover with Kas's gifts. Please… don't do that…" He hung his head, briefly, then it snapped up to glare at the ceiling, defiant once more.  
  
"Does it scare you that I can  
  
Be something different than you?  
  
Would it make you feel more  
  
Comfortable if I wasn't?"  
  
"WELL!?" Jendai shouted suddenly, his previous emotions vanishing. "Does it scare you all!? Is that WHY you did this to me!? Because you were AFRAID of ME!?" The tears were released, streaming down his contorted face. "Leeri, Kas, Regert, everyone! This is your fault!" He jammed the blaster into his chest, even with the spot where the back pod was connected to his spine. A shot there would both shatter the pod, rendering it useless to reactivate him, and pierce a vital organ. Zim cringed back at the rage as Jendai choked on his next words. "YOU SEE THIS!? DO YOU!? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! You never got what you wanted, did you!? I'm still the same! AND THIS IS YOUR FAULT! NOT MINE!"  
  
"Well, you can't control me  
  
And you can't take away from me  
  
Who I am!"  
  
The blaster fired.  
  
"There goes my pain  
  
There goes my chains,  
  
Did you see them falling?  
  
There goes this feeling, that has no meaning."  
  
Jendai's body recoiled from the shot, his back pod instantly shattered by the explosive blast. Blood almost erupted from the wound, splattering against the floor with a sickening sound, almost causing Zim to vomit. In what seemed to be slow motion, Jendai sank to his knees, falling backwards onto the floor. He gasped out a soft cry of painful surprise, then allowed his head to fall onto the ground with the rest of him. The gaping wound bled profusely, staining his shirt, and the ground, rose.  
  
"There goes the world, off of my  
  
Shoulders,  
  
There goes the world, off of my  
  
Back…"  
  
Zim cautiously approached the still body. He swallowed, kneeling beside the crumpled, dying Irken. Jendai's eyes were still open, dark with the intense pain he felt. One hand moved to feebly clutch at his wound, as if he subconsciously wished it to heal on its own. His glove was soon coated in blood. Zim backed away, nervous. The shot should have killed Jendai! Yet, he still lived, however barely. Now, Jendai coughed, a thick, wet sound that brought forth more rose-colored blood from his veins. As if seeing him back up, Jendai's free hand grasped his. To Zim's surprise, the grip was fairly strong. "Stay…" Jendai managed to rasp. His eyes were glazed, barely even focused on him. It hurt for Zim to look at them. "stay until… I'm gone…" The words were barely even recognizable as words, so fragmented and soft were they. "You're the only… one… no one else has…plea… please Zim…" The glaze filled those blue eyes now, trying to choke out the sight before Jendai could finish his last wish. "And tell…" Jendai gasped. "Tell Kas..."  
  
"Cause I don't want this!  
  
I don't need this  
  
I don't want this…"  
  
The Invader stayed. Stayed watching the light fade from the mechanic's pained blue eyes, watching the literal rivers of rose-colored blood flow from the gaping wound to the cold, tiled floor. He watched the Irken who had suffered the most torment, the most heartache and mental agony slowly refuse to live. He watched the tragically scarred, proud, Student body go limp. He felt the grip on his hand begin to weaken. He watched the act of breathing become more and more of a struggle until the effort was far too much for Jendai to bear. Valiantly, he resisted he urge to call the medical programming to life, to save this Irken who he knew should not have had to commit this horrific deed. It was unfair! Why did Jendai have to suffer so when others far less worthy of pleasure and joy were lavishly blessed with it? A lump in his green throat, he watched Jendai die.  
  
"And you can't change me,  
  
You can't break me!  
  
You can't break me!"  
  
A soft moan escaped his lips as Jendai Kaalae, head mechanic of West Jihi, died.  
  
The song had ended hours ago, slowly fading into the background of absolute silence punctuated only by the sad breaths of a little Invader, huddled up against the wall, alone. He was pale, unnerved from the happenings of only a few hours ago, and trembling. Death lay about him. A bloody blaster, a drying pool of rose-colored blood on the floor, the crumpled, beaten body of the greatest Irken he'd ever known, equally drenched in the life-giving fluid. The dead blue eyes stared out at the world, blank and unseeing. No more would the powerful chest rise and fall to breaths labored by pain or depression. No more would his shattered back pod produce the robotic legs to lift the mechanic above the ground, paralyzed legs dangling feebly below him. No more would his eyes brighten with whatever merriment he desired, the faraway gaze was gone forever. No more… He held his grief in, fighting to uphold the Soldier rules. Yet…  
  
Yet, no one else was here to see his tears. Zim, the Invader, the Solider, lay his head in his hands and wept. Eventually, the soft tears gave way to huge, gulping sobs that didn't end. Despite his lifetime of training, he could not, no matter how hard he tried, keep his sorrow under control. He couldn't believe it had all come down to this. After everything he'd been through with Jendai… after all they had suffered and triumphed over… after everything they had defeated, Jendai Kaalae had died. Zim felt strangely alone. The house felt almost as dead as the Irken before him was. It was the oddest feeling, this loneliness. Soldiers needed no one, he kept telling himself. No one at all. Not Jendai, not GIR, not anyone… Now though, he wasn't so sure if that was true. So much had been proven wrong in so short a time that he didn't know what do believe anymore.  
  
Rational. He had to be rational about this. If there was one thing left for him to believe in, to cling to, it was rationality in a situation. There was much to do… his mission the last on his list for once. His trembling would not cease as he almost crawled to Jendai's side a final time. He remembered the snow. Remembered this same scenario, the same pain engraved in both faces, the same blood. Wiping his eyes, Zim took Jendai's still-warm hand in his. He'd only felt grief like this once, on the same night of the snow, and didn't like the feeling. Zim swallowed before reaching up to close the lids of the blue eyes, a sign of respect in either Class. Ah yes, that was really all it came down to. Your Class. Whether you were lucky enough to be born into the proper one or unfortunate enough not to belong. Either way, you were hated by one, loved by the other. He sighed, then gave the long-fingered hand a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Computer," he said quietly. "Place… place the body of Jendai Kaalae… into stasis, repair the damage to the body…" He would bury it beside Merana's after a proper Irken ceremony. It seemed most fitting. Sitting back on his heels, Zim watched, biting back tears, the robotic arms of his house carry Jendai's body away into the stasis chambers. For a long time, he sat there, staring up. Finally, he rose and departed the room. He sealed it off with a touch of a button. These rooms should be perfectly preserved. With a deep breath, Invader Zim departed the room to make the report to Tallest Purple.  
  
No… he thought with a sad smile. My report to Kasden Aman.  
  
Their weapons clashed, the stronger fighter pushing the weaker back against the wall. Purple eyes flashed as their owner gave a terrific heave, struggling to push the other off of him, to allow him to try and fight back. His opponent gave a wry smile. Almost instantly after the facial expression vanished, the other fighter backed up, letting him move again. He moved back to the center of the arena, narrowing his eyes. Both of them were striped of their armor, leaving them only in the traditional skirts and thin undershirts both wore during fights. Their movements no longer restricted, battles still proved to be only a slight interest to anyone other than the two fighting, as anyone could easily predict the outcome of them.  
  
The stronger one advanced, his eyes also flashing with excitement. He knew his strength, and the other's weaknesses. Now, he swung his bati staff with the ease of one who knew exactly what he was doing with his weapon. His opponent froze, obviously forgetting his training, purple eyes huge in his face. Trying not to roll his eyes, he swung the staff in a fluid, graceful motion, spinning the serrated, V-shaped end of it towards the other. At the last minute, his opponent snapped up the bladed end of his, barely blocking the blow in time.  
  
Now the weaker one danced out of the way, attempting to run everything he'd been taught through his mind in order to prepare. He had to keep enough distance between himself and his opponent if he wanted to even remotely do well in this round. At the rate he was going, not even the greatest fighter could have helped him now. How could he hope to compete? It was impossible. Half-heartedly, he aimed a slow blow at his opponent's legs, attempting to knock him down. Almost instantly, it was blocked with a neat flip of the bladed end. The same movement brought the serrated side around to freeze an antenna's width from the purple-eyed face.  
  
"Pur, what good is all the training I give you if you can never use it in matches?" Tallest Red sighed loftily. "I thought Students were supposed to be good at remembering stuff."  
  
Tallest Purple could only swallow nervously, staring down at the weapon that was suspended so close to his throat. "You… you uh, mind moving that?" he asked, flinching.  
  
The Soldier looked down at the weapon as if he'd forgotten its position. "Sorry," Red mumbled, moving it away from the Student throat. He peered at Purple through half-lidded, crimson eyes. "You should still be able to remember something from last week! I can't keep re-teaching you everything, you know."  
  
In an attempt not to seem completely idiotic in the Soldier's eyes, Purple readjusted his fingers on the shaft, after examining it for a moment. He held it up with a slight grin. "See?" he said. "I remembered that!"  
  
"Big improvement," Red retorted with a sigh. "Let's go through this again, bit by bit. That way, your gargantuan Student brain can absorb all this." He gave a cocky grin as he spun the weapon in confident hands. The plastic placed to simulate metal flashed brilliantly in the light from the overhead orbs that gleamed high overhead. He stopped playing abruptly, moving forward to begin the sparring match again.  
  
Purple sighed. He hated this. It hadn't been so bad when Red had first begun the sessions, but years ago, something had happened. His legs no longer felt as strong as he knew they should. Even though he had never been very athletic to begin with, Purple could feel that there was an odd weakness there that shouldn't be. When the bizarre feeling had first set in, he'd known vaguely what had happened. There had been that sudden blaze of pain through his spine, and other parts of his body, then his legs had constantly either ached or felt as if they weren't even there at all. Since no medical programs had been able to diagnose his condition, he'd been forced to the only, logical, conclusion. Something had happened to his friend. Something he could never be able to find out about.  
  
He was saved from any further reflection by Red, who aimed a slow, simple strike at him. The stronger Tallest kept his movement easy and deliberate, obviously trying to show Purple how he was supposed to work. Despite this, Red deftly blocked any and every blow that came his way. He didn't even seem to try to do so. One moment, the staff was behind him, out of the way, and the next, it was directly in front of him, protecting his front. Purple felt like a complete idiot. He attempted everything Red had showed him, all of which were, somewhat boredly, hit away.  
  
"Stop it Purple!" Red called, his antennae flicking inwards angrily. "You're thinking too much!" He flipped his staff to lean on it. "Irkens fight naturally! Your body knows what it's supposed to do. If you think, you confuse it!" As if to prove his point, he hefted the staff again, and, in an impressive show of his training, twirled it easily in one hand. He quickly passed it behind him, then back to the front, well aware that if the staff were one of the ones in his collection, he could be headless in moments. Now, it went over his head, flashing once more. It suddenly sped up, becoming nothing more than a blur. Purple watched, entranced by Red's sudden grace. Almost before he could blink, the staff ceased to spin, was swung over Red's head and come down to strike Purple in the chest with the blunt bladed edge.  
  
Stunned, the Student fell backwards. The force of the strike sent him crashing to the mats in a sprawled, undignified position, staring up at Red's grinning face. He was panting slightly, looking smug and leaning on the barbed end. "What was that?" Purple grunted.  
  
"Something they don't teach in Academies anymore," Red said.  
  
"I can see that," Purple growled. "Help me up and maybe I'll be ready for you next time you try that."  
  
The crimson eyes danced cockily. "I doubt that," the eyes' owner replied simply. "You're too busy thinking about those curly fries to keep your mind on this stuff."  
  
"Stop dreaming of ladies and lazers," Purple snapped, knowing his comeback was bad. "Help me up!"  
  
Red kept his cocky smile as he reached down to pull the other Tallest up. "I have to dream," he said. The strong shoulders shrugged. "That's the problem with being a Tallest during this Impending Doom thing. Nobody's around to date you. And if they are, they cower and bow and stammer and don't give you a chance to even say hello." He leaned once more on the staff, placing his other hand behind his neck, looking almost embarrassed.  
  
His position was so comical that Purple had to laugh. "As if they'd even want a Soldier to date any-" He stopped. His chest hurt. It swelled up to a blinding pain that forced him to his knees. The staff crashed to the floor as he grabbed the origin of the agony. He felt himself start panicking. Dimly, he felt Red grasp his other arm, trying valiantly to haul him to his feet. The Student was soon blinded, blackness swarming his vision in swimming spots. He went completely limp. Red's voice was far away; he could barely hear the other Tallest yelling for someone to help between the curses directed at his own stupidity. For a moment, it was impossible to breathe. He knew what was happening, vaguely. Just before he slipped into unconsciousness, an image of blue eyes, slowly graying, flashed before his eyes.  
  
"Purple! Mother of-PUR!" Nothing he did was working. The Student Tallest stayed where he was on the floor, unconscious and hardly breathing. Red shook the thin shoulder wildly. "Wake up! I didn't even hit you that hard!" If his partner's collapse were his fault, he'd never forgive himself. He'd known how much weaker the Student was, known and still given that swing almost his full power. He kept shaking Purple, in case that would help. "HELLO!?" Red yelled. "SOMEBODY GET THEIR GREEN ARSE IN HERE!"  
  
Finally, the Elite Guards swarmed in, took in the sight and sent for a med team. After their duty was completed, they stood by, in case the red-eyed Tallest had need of their service again. He was busy shaking Purple between glaring at them. Heads would roll once this emergency was taken care of. The tension in the room built as time ticked by. But when the med team arrived, it seemed too late. In a crackle of blue energy, Purple's back pod zapped him back to life, three times, before settling back down. Red panicked. "What's wrong!?" he barked at the nervous Irkens. "What happened to him!?"  
  
One, a taller one with light red eyes, paused in her scans and simple tests. "We can't determine the source of the problem here," she answered the raging Tallest in a calm, smooth voice. "We'll be bringing him to sickbay for further testing."  
  
"Why was he reactivated!?" Red snapped, rising from a crouch. "You imbeciles better be able to at least tell me that!"  
  
The leader of them let the insult slide. "Yes, sir," was her easy reply. Her team took courage from her calm attitude towards Red, as she was obviously unafraid of even this dangerous Irken. They loaded Purple onto a hovering platform and began pushing it towards the elevator that would bring them down to sickbay. A few Guards followed them at a distance. "His pulse stopped. Almost as if he had died."  
  
For n the first time, he was completely alone in the darkness. That realization scared him more than anything. There was no one with him. Just him, the darkness and… the fear. His fears were not without reason; he could see that now. Something had happened to his friend, something that prevented their meeting in the place they had nearly always been able to see one another. Terrified, he covered his face with his hands and sobbed…  
  
The sterilized walls and ceiling of the medical bay were what he opened his eyes to. He blinked away the haze, focusing his eyes. His chest no longer hurt, but a feeling of dread had replaced the pain. What had happened? He was about to reach for a communication device, to contact and find out what was wrong. Then he remembered. He couldn't. Fighting the tears again, he covered his face with one hand.  
  
"You're awake," Red said from somewhere in the room. The Soldier moved into view, peering down at him with a slightly worried expression. "About time. You scared a lot of short things."  
  
Purple groaned, loudly. "How long was I out for?" he asked, putting one hand to his forehead.  
  
"A few hours, tops," Red answered, moving to lean boredly against the wall. "After that, you were just asleep." He frowned. "Do you know what happened?"  
  
Should he tell? No, best not. Letting that secret out was something he never wanted to do. Just one more agony to bear in silence, one more heartache he could never let out. It didn't matter. "I don't know," he said. It was really only half a lie anyway. He honestly didn't know what had happened to Jendai. "What did I do?"  
  
The Soldier looked uncomfortable for a few moments. His antennae flicked back and then pricked forwards. "I hit you in the chest with the bati staff," he began slowly. "After a little bit, you grabbed your chest like it hurt and passed out. You stopped breathing and the pod reactivated you…" Red was blushing badly, completely embarrassed. It was obvious he felt that he was responsible for the incident. "The med programming couldn't find anything wrong with you though…" One booted foot kicked at the ground. "They thought you died, Purple…" Red mumbled.  
  
He kept his mouth shut. Died…? No, it couldn't be. There was no way… after so long he should have expected this. But why now? Why today? He mentally smacked himself. It had to be a fluke. Something had happened, yes, but not seeing him in the darkness had to have just been an affect of their age on the bond they shared… yes, that was it. He blindly refused to accept any other solution. This was the one reason. There could be, and was, no other way.  
  
Fortunately for both, the intercom beeped, telling both of them someone waited for their attention. Purple pushed himself into a sitting position, attempting to look at least a little like the Tallest he was. Red kept leaning against the wall. He blatantly ignored his Tallest training, always remaining the somewhat delinquent Soldier he'd been once. After a moment, an Elite Guard stepped in, bowing low. His blue-green eyes, the most bizarre of mutations, remained focused on the floor. "My Tallest," the Guard said meekly. "The Invader Zim is waiting a transmission audience with you. He says it is of utmost importance to Tallest Purple and cannot be told to anyone but you sirs."  
  
Red groaned loudly, not caring that the Guard heard him. "Stupid midget… just when we didn't need him…" he sighed. "Tell him to wait a few minutes. We'll be there when we can."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"I never liked him," Purple muttered, watching the Guard with the mutated eyes leave, his own eyes narrowed to slits. "He was always too uppity for his rank."  
  
The flat statement of the truth produced a barking laugh from Red. "Which one," he laughed, jokingly. "Zim or Sen?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Red laughed again at his partner's growl. "Some short thing brought your armor in while you were sleeping," he said. "I'll wait for you in here." Purple glared at him. "Oh, so it's privacy you want?" Red laughed, glad of the other Tallest's sudden good mood. He ducked out of sickbay, still chuckling to himself. A few minutes went by, the sound of buckling armor from the room, before Purple emerged, a decorated Tallest once more.  
  
The Massive's bridge was its usual chaotically organized mess of Irkens, screens and ships gliding by the viewing ports. They were currently en route to a planet that had been designated "planet of total wetness," on which the Invader had begun to lose their sanity and sent an SOS transmission requesting the immediate arrival and intervention of the Armada. On the main screen, the two Tallest could see the words, "Call Waiting" scrawled above the Irken Symbol. Red groaned louder. It was Purple's turn to chuckle as they seated themselves in the two chairs on the raised platform that surveyed the entire bridge. "We can always disconnect him if he gets too annoying," the Student said cheerfully. The decision of a fluke had greatly improved his spirits.  
  
"So that means you'll push the disconnect button after counting to three?" Red asked, squinting one eye. Both of them snickered at that. "Put Zim on," the Soldier ordered, pointing to one of the operators.  
  
Zim's face appeared, seated before a large console as usual. There was nothing amiss about his lab, his salute or his opening statement. What was frightening was his face. There was a fear, an almost haunted look in his Soldier-red eyes. Eyes that were swollen from long dried tears of sorrow. Rather than flicked forward in attention, his antennae had flattened themselves against his head. His hands, resting on the console before him, worried a scrap of paper as an excuse merely to do something. "My Tallest…" Zim murmured, his voice strangely soft and hoarse. "Greetings… I, I thank you for taking my call…" The Invader's eyes avoided theirs, focusing on a small square of the console.  
  
His seemingly depressed mannerism scared the Student Tallest. Zim had never shown anything other than the usual Soldier spirit to them. What on Irk had caused this drastic change? "Zim?" Purple asked, genuinely concerned about the midget for the first time since he'd laid eyes on him. He ignored Red hissing at him to be silent. "What happened to you?"  
  
The little Invader glanced around at the Guards and operators on the bridge, chewing his lip worriedly. Chewing his…? Something about the nervous gesture struck Purple as odd. "If it is possible, my Tallests," Zim began slowly. "I would prefer to give you this news… if you were alone. It is not meant for outside listening…"  
  
Apparently, this statement piqued Red's interest, for he ordered all the other Irkens out of the bridge, telling the pilots to set the ship to computer piloting.  
  
Zim watched them go, his antennae flicking up, then falling back against his head once more. He took a deep breath. "I'm…" he began, swallowing heavily to force back more tears. The Tallest stared in shock. They had never seen Zim like this. For several minutes, the Invader sat still, breathing deeply to both calm himself and regain his composure in front of them. They let him. It was the least they would do. "I'm terribly sorry, my Tallest," Zim paused again, unsure of how exactly to proceed. "but Jendai Kaalae has… died. He committed suicide this night."  
  
"No…" he could barely recognize the soft, hissing voice as his own. Zim continued, not hearing him, telling Red which Irkens Jendai wished to notify of his passing and explaining how it was he'd come to know Jendai. "No!" Kasden Aman nearly shouted. "Mother of Irk… NO!" All strength faded, letting his head fall backwards into the headrest, his body go limp with horror. Too stunned for tears now, Kasden Aman stared in disbelief up at the ceiling. Faintly, he could hear Zim's trembling voice sign off and the screen go blank. His body, weakened from the shock, sank to the floor as he cried out once more with the hundreds of indescribable emotions racing unhindered through his mind.  
  
"JENDAI! OH MOTHER OF IRK… NO!"  
  
Dead…  
  
Why was he dead? How could he die? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead. Why was he dead? How could he die? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead. Why was he dead? How could he die? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead…  
  
An empty bottle of Amrinae stood on the small table. Holographs of the past littered what surface was not marred by spilt liquor or the once- elegant crystal glass. The only light flitting into the room came from the planet spinning obliviously outside the half-curtained viewport. Otherwise, all else was dark. The single shaft of light reflected painfully off of the bottle that had been completely full when it was brought into the room by a nervous Guard, bouncing into a hunched figure's swollen, half lidded, violet eyes. In his hands, a holograph was clenched, it's edges smudged with years of fingers lovingly running over its surface. The young holographic Irkens grinned, the shorter one attempting to give his taller friend an extra set of antennae with his fingers. It seemed impossible…  
  
Why was he dead? How could he die? Why did he leave his best friend alone? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead. Why was he dead? How could he die? Why would he leave his best friend alone? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead. Why was he dead? How could he die? He wasn't dead, couldn't be dead…  
  
In a single movement, the last of the Amrinae was swallowed, its crystal vessel sliding through trembling fingers to shatter on the floor. Violet orbs watched it fall, drawn to the largest shimmering fragments. So sharp… so perfect. It was so strange… feeling nothing but yourself after so long. It almost felt lonely. Too lonely. When all your life you were part of both yourself and another, how did you learn to live alone? There was one answer.  
  
You didn't. You didn't live.  
  
Slowly, he picked up one of the large fragments, wincing as it's sharp edge bit into his finger. It drank in his blood, pulling it out from the tip. He shrugged. This small pain meant nothing, it would soon pass in light of a bigger hurt to come. Cautiously, he raised the shard towards his throat. Yes. Yes, this was it. End it here, end it now. No more fear, no more uncertainty… No more missing your best friend. The shard pressed against his skin.  
  
"Purple?" the soft voice came from the other side of the door. He froze. Who dared violate his moment of privacy? "Purple!" it wasn't a question this time. It was the demanding voice of the other Tallest. He still didn't reply or move. "Purple!" Now the voice was scared. That was a surprise. Fear had never been in that voice before. The door groaned as if someone were fighting to open it. "Purple!?" There was so much fear in the voice that he cringed. It wasn't right for that deep voice to sound so fearful. Without any warning, the door burst open, Red striding in, looking around wildly for him. More fear flashed in those lidded crimson eyes when they opened long enough to actually see the activities in the room. Before the other Tallest could act, Red was inches away, fighting him for the shard held tightly in his grasp. It broke into harmless bits under the strain and fell to the floor with gentle, crystalline rings.  
  
Horrified, he watched them fall. The last way to ever make it up to his best friend, his last way to finally make amends for those appalling things that had leaked out of him mouth that black day, shattered to the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces. Such a symbol of his mind… He snarled suddenly, pushing the Soldier away. "How could you!?" Purple demanded, rising shakily to his feet. "How dare you come in here and do something like that! Do you know what that meant!?"  
  
"It meant you were about to be stupider than I am," Red replied evenly, his antennae flicking in. He placed a hand on both of Purple's shoulders, in case the other were to fall, hit his head and die anyway. His eyes stared right through Purple, forcing the answers out of him. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"  
  
Purple could only stare right back. He was unable to reply without stammering, and in Red's presence, you did not stammer. Such a thing was one of the unwritten rules of the Tallest position. He shook. Don't stammer, don't stammer, he thought. Mother of Irk… don't stammer whatever you do… Finally, he couldn't help it. His mind was too warped from the events to hold onto protocol. He sank back down into the chair, sobbing. "Mother of Irk," he choked out. "Mother of Irk…"  
  
Confused, Red crouched down, sitting on his heels. The display of bottled emotion was new to him. Soldiers rarely saw much of it. He stayed silent, completely bewildered. "What's the matter?" he asked, trying to be tact.  
  
The Student was sobbing so hard he was hyperventilating. His hands were pressed to his face, the tears dripping off of them as rain did. Each time a sob tore free of him, his too-slight body would shake, making him look like a vulnerable infant. Pain was in the whole of his body language, the huddled position, the flat antennae, and most of all, the tears. Of course, none of that was picked up by the Soldier. Red had been trained to fight, not interpret his partner's moods. All he knew was that Purple was upset enough to cry hysterically, and threaten to take his own life because of some other Student doing the same thing on Earth. The latter was something not even a Soldier would stand for. Glancing around, Red grabbed a pillow from its sad position under the desk where the other Tallest sat. He pried Purple's hands from his face, being none too gentle, before he shoved the pillow over the Student's mouth, forcing him to take long, slow breaths. "Calm down," Red ordered, keeping his tone evenly calm. One of them had to be sane. "Breathe." His eyes narrowed, making sure his orders were followed without any questioning. "Slowly. You need to calm down. Now."  
  
Gradually, painfully, the sobs eased, chased away by the deep breaths formed from sucking air in through the fabric of a pillow. Purple began to visibly relax, much to the Soldier's relief. Tears still flowed freely, but that was nothing compared to how they had been coming. Still sitting comfortably on his heels, Red kept an eye on the other's unsteady progress. After a moment, he spoke. "Can you talk now?" he asked. For a moment, he wondered at how harsh he sounded. Mother of Irk, he was bad at this.  
  
If he was as blunt as he sounded, Purple didn't seem to notice. Rather than speak, the Student Tallest nodded slightly, opening himself up to any questions Red threw at him.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
He told Red. Told him all he dared. How he knew Jendai, why he was so upset, who his friend was… almost everything spilled out of him. He couldn't keep it in. Couldn't bear the pain and the knowledge alone. He'd never had to before. Never been alone with things like this. Amazingly, Red listened, silently, nodding in all the right places. When he'd finished, the other Tallest sighed, rising to pace in front of him, agitated. Looking at the floor, he gave Purple all the information Zim had given him when the Student was too far-gone to hear. How Zim had come to find the mechanic, what had happened, whom Jendai wished to have told of his… decision.  
  
Purple was silent after he'd heard. His eyes focused over on the opposite wall, not even really looking at anything. He couldn't even feel the tears start up again. Red took this as his cue to take action, do something, to get Purple out of his mood. Slowly, he reached down and pulled the light Student to his feet. "You should sleep," Red said quietly. "You'll feel better."  
  
"I don't need it," was the slurred reply. Obviously, the affects of the alcohol were catching up with him. "No sleep…"  
  
Red ignored him, steering him over to the bed. "Yes, you do. You will sleep, even if I have to tie you down," he joked. His old humor was something he hoped would help. It was only then that he noticed the cuts on Purple's hands. He frowned. Maybe things were worse than he'd thought they were… That thought was dismissed. He didn't have a spare moment now to dwell on such dismal things. The only thing that mattered right now was assuring both himself and the other Tallest that things were not as bleak as they appeared currently. Gently as he could, which, in fact, wasn't very mild at all, he pushed Purple down onto the violet sheets, watching with narrowed eyes to ensure that the Student was actually going to sleep.  
  
Under the withering crimson-eyed stare, Purple had no choice. His mind was too clouded by the Amrinae and the aftershocks of a suicide. Someone was taking charge of him and he was grateful. Someone was making him get a grip on what reality he had left. He was barely conscious of his slightly bloodied hands pulling the blankets around his exhausted self. The thousands of questions he knew would never be answered haunted him, trying to keep him from the rest he knew he needed.  
  
"I'll never know…" he murmured, feeling his eyelids shut, despite the questions.  
  
Red blinked. "Never know what?"  
  
He fought of the weight of his eyes for a moment. "Never know… why it happened… what on Irk made him give me all this… to… why he decided to…" The last part came so flat and so soft no one heard it. "…decided to leave me alone with this burden…"  
  
Purple gave a soft, painful sigh before dropping off into a troubled sleep. Red watched him for a few moments, making sure everything was all right. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. This whole sympathy thing was completely new to him. Soldiers just didn't do that sort of thing. He'd never had someone he cared about as much as Purple cared about this Jendai Kaalae. Another thing Soldiers didn't do. Chewing his lip, he left, massaging his forehead with new concern.  
  
There was a lot he had to do. So many little tasks piling up… yet, keeping Purple alive always bumped itself up to the top priority. Red frowned. There was so much he needed to get used to. Skirt swishing, he disappeared into the gloom of the corridor, making plans on how to keep himself from becoming the only Tallest Irk had to deal with.  
  
  
  
*Sniff* One more chapter left… 


	9. EPILOGUE

*smacks her forehead* Okay, that last chapter was supposed to be dedicated to Invader Bast... but leave it to AF to forget such a thing... so, that last chapter is for Bast!  
  
*Crying* I swore I wouldn't cry... I dun own IZ... I also dun own Goodnight My Friend. Veritcal Horizon does...*SOB!!*  
  
  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
Death. The finale in the play. So many pass on; to where no one knows. That was what troubled him now, as he gazed out at the eternal blackness sprinkled with tiny spots of brilliance. Where was Jendai Kaalae now? Off flying freely among those pinpoints of light, finally happy? Or lost, cold in some remote blackness and so alone it pained him? Could he see the sun? Feel the warmth against his face, or the refreshing touch of the moonbeams on his skin? He smiled faintly, forehead resting against the thick, clear material of the window, purple eyes scanning the stars. Jendai had always waited for sunset, waited for the moon to come. The blue-eyed mechanic had always liked the night the best...  
  
Goodnight my sun  
Goodnight my friend  
Rest your soul at this  
Long day's end  
  
Did Jendai know how many missed him? Did he know how many he'd left behind on Irk and Earth who still cared about him and loved him? Armored hands folded over his chest. He probably didn't. A sigh tore from his throat. The news had spread rapidly. He'd seen the vid-images from the West Jihi workshop... Candles. A thing Irkens hadn't used in a little over a century. Candles, of all things, decorated a small memorial, guarded by a single, gray-eyed mechanic who wept more than anyone in that shop-even more than the orange-eye, the magenta-eye or the red-eye combined. That was how Jendai Kaalae would be remembered, that small shrine. He couldn't forget that small gray-eye. No matter how much he thought of other things, that picture of the young mechanic, clutching an equally young student in his arms, sobbing bitterly before the pedestal covered in candles and holographs.   
  
The fire inside  
Will warm our night  
And Daddy's arms will  
Hold you tight  
  
Mother of Irk, what he wouldn't give to have his best friend beside him now. To have him alive and all this sorrow lifted from his planet and his life. To see him again after all those years. Briefly, he remembered their time before he became Tallest. When they would run around on either the roof of his teacher, Swar, or Jendai's, barefoot, letting the roof material almost burn their feet after cooking in the hot sun before ducking back into the cool shadows of a parked voot runner. They would sit there, hiding from the summer heat, telling stories while their teachers spoke about things, drinking ahki or some other drink the two young males were not allowed. Sometimes... he would tell a long, peaceful story, just to see if he could bore Jendai into sleeping. After achieving his goal, he would then see how many times he could poke his friend before he woke up angry and chased him around the roof once more. How he had loved those times... everything so simple. The hushed, sometimes outraged, tones of their teachers dismissed as merely the troubles of their jobs... Mother of Irk, how naive they had been...  
  
Dream of summer skies  
Sunset is bound to each sunrise  
Rest is your first right  
My friend goodnight  
  
They were both wise now. Too wise in Jendai's case. Too wise in the ways of cruelty, torture and pain. He wished with every ounce of what soul he possessed he could go back. He wouldn't be so blind to the tricks, the lies, of the opposite Class if he could. There was nothing he could do. Time was one thing even an Almighty Tallest had no power to work with or to modify to their specifications. If he could, he would grant himself that power, even if it were only to feel the bond again. The bond... he'd loved that. To feel like you were constantly part of something bigger than just your life. To be connected to another Irken-his best friend-in that way. He missed it. He knew it was gone forever, thinned and broken by the vast distances death had drawn between them to hide the mechanic from the scholar.   
  
This world spinning  
Time always winning  
The silver chains keep thinning and  
This is just your beginning  
  
Another thing troubled him as he watched the stars. Soothing, soothing stars. Always there to guide you, tell you that you weren't completely by yourself. That wasn't what bothered him. Zim... Why did the last Irken Jendai set his blue eyes upon have to be Zim? His poor friend. Trapped with such a pathetic small thing...  
What he didn't know was, that at that same moment that he stood before his window, that same small thing was working his hands off. A shovel, bigger than he was, grasped in his gloved hands. The small thing shivered violently in the chill of the Earthen morning. He could feel the rough handle digging into his palms, drawing blood, even through the gloves. He couldn't stop. Doggedly, he dug on, careful not to disturb the other grave lying beside this new one, ignoring pain and cold. His ally lay, safely locked in a box stamped with the Student symbol, a few feet back from the spot where he dug. Finally, just as the first rays of dawn peeked over the distant skyline, the hole was done. Straining to finish before the sun fully woke, the Invader buried his ally, almost sobbing as he poured the soil back to where it came from.   
...No. He should take that back. Zim had shown he was different than he'd first categorized him. Now, he knew of the circumstances in which the Invader had come across Jendai. Now, though, Jendai was dead. And he couldn't forget Zim's story.   
  
Sleep my friend  
At last be free  
No we won't forget  
Our merriest melody  
  
Oh sweet Mother of Irk... Jendai was dead. He fell to the floor, still leaning against the window as if it were the only thing he had left to turn to. Jendai Kaalae, his best friend... his blood-brother, was gone forever. Lost to the world. The only comforts he had now were the ancients' tales of heaven. It was said that the Mother of Irk watched over the head, protecting their spirits as they slept in her arms for all eternity. It was supposedly a beautiful, peaceful place where the dead looked upon the Mother's face freely, and were filled with joy at the sight. He smiled wanly. Jendai had always enjoyed being happy. And he had too, whenever his friend was near.   
  
Gone to another place  
Of carousel rides round an angel's face  
I'm sure we'd both laugh at the sight  
  
He took another deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. A repeat of the incident a week ago would not have been wise at the moment. Too many were worried for him. It was almost time he started accepting Jendai's death and getting his priorities back in line. Almost. Even Irkens needed adequate time to grieve. He drew his knees up to his chest, curling in a protective ball. These quiet, reflecting times were what he craved now. When all the memories could come back and support him. Letting those pleasurable moments settle around him, he relaxed. Jendai was dead. It had already, even through the delusions memoirs brought, begun to sink in. The realization almost made him feel better. Jendai was dead, he thought again. No matter what he did, his friend wasn't coming back... unless he chose to pull up his face in his mind...   
  
My friend goodnight  
  
The Massive cruised silently through the stars, unfazed by the trauma within its walls. If you looked closely at one of the large windows barely visible from a distance, you might have glimpsed a huddled figure in purple regalia, leaning against his window, eyes shut as he resolutely drudged up memory after sweet memory of a brother lost... A smile on his thin, pale green lips.  
  
My friend goodnight...   
  
  
  
  
  
Coming SOON!!  
DIVISIONS!! The third in the Kaalae Name Series. (Yes, I decided to make it a series! JOY!) This fic will take the Soldier/Student rivalry to new heights with the explanation of the Uprisings... Takes place on the day Jendai is banished and goes until the day of Impending Doom I... SQUEE!! I can't wait either! 


End file.
